Anyone ever get a bad case of Unrequited Love?

Post Reply New Topic

Post Deleted

Regardless of the issues, I want to make something clear. You can ruin his life.
Read that sentence a second time. And please, for his sake, let alone your own, back off from him.
I know, that's really negative, and I'm not addressing anything else, nor being supportive. But, to me, this element is first and foremost to keep in mind.

With that said, I wish you luck in understanding your difficult spot. =o(

Given his behavior towards you, I think that you do fascinate him. I wouldn't call what he feels towards you love, but he likes you more than he should. But this is not a good thing for you in that it is only a case of obsession, not of genuine feeling. He may want you, likely he does, but it's the unhealthy type, where he would use and then discard you. Or, even more likely, outside factors would force the end of it before he could discard you. I think your fascination with him also is helped along by a lower self esteem, why else would you put up with the way he treats you? I would advise that you start avoiding him before things spiral out of control. But it is your life to live. I just hope it turns out well, and preferably you find someone to love that will be able to love you equally. Almost all of the women I have loved has been unrequited, so I do know the pain and frustration of that. But not everyone you fall for is a good match for you, speaking from experience. Age difference isn't such a big deal in my opinion, but being married and in a position of power/authority over you and his treatment of you are in fact big things. I've read many of your posts on here, and I can say that in my opinion, you deserve better than him, a lot better.

So...

-he's married
-he's your HS TEACHER
-he has a drinking problem
-he's told you that he wants to die
-it's possible he only goes to school to see YOU (which I doubt...)
-you hardly got a word in when you 'talked' to him
-he tells you personal things he doesn't tell other students
-he didn't like your ex

No offense, but what about any of this is GOOD? This sounds like a very inappropriate teacher-student relationship that only has potential to cause a vast amount of trouble. This could easily destroy his marriage and career, and possibly lives if he's actually suicidal. You're not just playing with fire... more like plutonium. (which is more dangerous than it sounds)

My advice? RUN. And forget about all of this.

Yes, get away, for both of your sakes. He sounds lost, and he's not going to get better by finding you.

Honey, this man has no business having this type of relationship with you. He's breaking every code of conduct rule there is by eating lunch with you, emailing you, getting involved in your personal life, and discussing personal topics, using foul language, etc. He's a married alcoholic in his fifties, who's risking his career by engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a student - this man has no judgment, and you absolutely can't trust him. Hon, he's quasi-suicidal - that means he's dangerously close to having nothing to lose.

If you were my daughter, I hope you would do the following: stop having lunch with this man; stop emailing him; stop having any contact with him that is not necessary to your teacher/student relationship. If he asks why, tell him your mother found out and she forbade you - that ought to scare the shiz out of him. And stop thinking about him. Stop fantasizing about him. Your imagination is working overtime to feed the feelings you have about him, and you have to stop doing that. When you start to think about him, physically stop yourself: shake your head, go for a walk, stretch, do some deep breathing exercises, learn how to say the alphabet backwards, solve a difficult math problem - anything to get your mind off of him.

Look, this isn't your fault, so don't waste your time feeling guilty about it. You made a mistake getting involved with this man, but that's completely understandable because you're a young lady with no experience playing for stakes this high. Now you've got to be the adult in this situation, and get yourself away from this guy. Good luck, honey.

Yeah. I think you guys are right - I'm a huge idiot.
Probably gonna take a shower and retire for the night.