Casting wide net approach

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So I'm determined to get someone to go with me to the movies. So, I messaged five or six girls I know or keep in touch with, asking them to go to the movies. I played it pretty casual, like "Hey, [insert movie] is playing. Want to meet up and see it this weekend?" Something like that. Not trying to put too much into it, playing it cool and all.

So far, one flat out rejection "You're a nice guy, but I'm not interested." Either I'm that f-in transparent, or some people are really anti-social. What's with some girls and hanging out with guys? Girls talk about "let's be friends," but they sure as s**t don't seem to want to. And that girl seems to spend a lot of time at home, Redboxing it with her dog (based on her many facebook updates). Someone needs to lower their standards and quit being so damn picky...

Anyways, I haven't heard back from the other four, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of them has a heart...

BR

If you just don't want to go to the movies alone, you don't need a girlfriend. Just get a regular female friend or even a guy friend (although if it's a chick flick or otherwise some kind of romance or fashion-related movie, then people might think you're gay).

Brianruns10, so far so good! But there are some mild mistakes in there.

First, you're letting that one girls' response get to you. It doesn't need to feel personal, try not to let it get you down. So long as you're being friendly, and honest, and mostly not awkward, then you're golden; It's her loss, not yours.

Also, honesty is the best policy. So let's clarify: Are you interested in going out with these women as friends(for now), or are you primarily interested in starting something up with one of them? Act directly as such - transparency is good if your intentions are solid.
If you think about it and realize that you're primarily interested in getting closer with one of those women(any, apparently?), then also realize that you're acting mildly desperate. That said, there's worse ways that your desperation could be expressed, so it's not so bad.

If you wanted to act in a way that was a bit more chill, then start out with a more friend-like mentality, and invite a woman out just like you would a friend - Organize something fun with your friends(hopefully non-nerdy), and take her along. There's much less pressure there, and far more reason to feel comfortable than a solo meet-up. This mindset is also good because it helps ween you off the "I'll take what I can get" mindset, and more towards a more appreciative mindset that is better for you, and more attractive to be around: "I won't pursue her until she proves to be cool and worthy of that level of attention." ....Incidentally, quite a bit like her mindset, probably.

After having done that, and established some basis of trust or comfort, then she might feel a bit more 'ok' to go off and do something solo. But remember that doing something with just one guy has intrinsic overtones of romantic tension. Sometimes women are okay to ignore that, with a sort of "innocent until proven guilty" mindset(for lack of a better description), but many don't, and wont agree to such a thing so quickly(like the girl who turned you down - too much, too soon).

I think that kind of mindset, where you take women off their automatic pedestal, and treat them more as equals, will probably help you along the way. Anything you can do to reinforce this mindset(generally via self-improvement, and doing things that make you feel good about yourself) will also help.

An tactic I occasionally employ: Movie night @ home.
One of my friends had a large projector and screen, and a big room with lots of couches. With that at our disposal, I'd ask if he wanted to throw a movie night with me. We'd invite many people to come a week in advance, like a party(and remind them beforehand), get some cheap&easy movie food, and then watch a classic movie or two. Like Ghost Busters, or some old Marx Brothers. Or sometimes a remarkably bad movie! The rowdier everyone acts, the better - it's no fun if everyone watches quietly & politely. The goal is for everyone to relax, toss away inhibitions, and contribute to the collective ruckus, the heckling, the laughing, and hopefully some chatting.
I've used this to introduce new friends, both men and women, to my social group, and then progressed relationships from there. Sometimes those invited could bring a friend or two, which helps them feel more comfortable, and introduces even more people to the group. Awesome.
It's a good, fun intro, it's cheap, very social, and a lot more comfortable feeling than solo outings.
I hope this idea is helpful to you!

*Edit, a reminder: if the situation is okay, and you can do it comfortably(for both), DO flirt, even if you're not out on a 'date'. Don't get overly shy about it, though - That's a mistake I used to make, and it got me stuck in the friend-zone a number of times before I eventually got more comfortable with it.
And as a disclaimer, although some girls like shy guys, we're already shy, TO A FAULT. So generally we have to really practice being more outgoing and comfortable in order to find that happy medium, or whatever state we like best.

I'd just love to hang with them as friends. Because I don't really have many friends that are in my area any more, and frankly I get nervous hanging around guys too much...afraid they'll get the wrong idea about me (not that theere's anything wrong with it, yadda, yadda, yadda).

And the other thing is more of my friends are getting married, and once they do the time they spend with me goes downhill fast. They've got other priorities, and seem to want to hang with other couples.

I'm afraid this will all lead me to being alone, even more than I am already. So I've got to start hanging with more girls. And if its just friends, that'd be great. And even better if one of them turns into something better.

I just wish someone would give me a chance. I just don't get it. Maybe it's because regular folk take for granted what it means to be adept socially, to have friends. They can pick and choose. How I wish they could experience ONE day in my shoes...never getting called to hang out, never even getting a damn "How're you, " on Facebook. Feeling so desperate for companionship, which only makes people run away, which makes you even more desperate and lonely.

And they call this a Christian nation. BS.

PS: No reply yet from any girl. Figures.

Again with the bitterness. I feel ya, but you gotta curb that, it wont help you.
Bare in mind that there's TONS of people in your shoes, NT's included. The problem's not new, try to focus on the solution.

You could try to locate some kind of association to get started with. Some kind of sport if you're into that, or a volunteer org. Hm. You could also see about organizing a local meet-up for members from this forum, as tons of us have few friends. Beyond that, there's not much else that's very organic. The only thing left, really, is to learn to be socially aggressive. Which it seems you're taking steps toward, actually, so GJ and keep it up.

You can check out social sites, or Craigslist. Kinda sketchy, but it works for some people. And with your existing friends, keep trying to organize stuff proactively. Take the lead. Maybe you can get them involved in something new along with you, which might smooth things out a bit. Some people have luck with meeting people at workouts, like martial arts or a gym or yoga or whatever, that could work for you if you're willing to be proactive. Or a running or hiking club, I'll bet there might be something like that in your area. Independent classes maybe? Like art classes. That'd definitely have some ladies there.
Some people manage to meet others just by virtue of always bein at certain bars & clubs. Heh, bar-stars. Not the best idea, imo, but it works for some. Hm... My last roommates volunteered for the local Sakura-Con, and apparently they met a bunch of peeps that way.
It sounds like you've got some faith in ya, what about your church? Don't they have social groups?

But the big idea is that you can't just accept your current introverted self. Make it a mission to be more extroverted. Pick up a book about meeting people, making friends, or charisma, etc. Do some extra net research. But the point is, whatever you're doing now aint working.
Although you are certainly doing some things that are good. NJ on that, don't give in to disappointment. We've got it particularly hard, yeah, but that just makes our eventual success all the sweeter. Focus on that instead, cuz the alternative sucks.

On a side note, correct, we are not a Christian nation.

I'm sorry you are lonely but the attitude here is really bad. I can feel that hostility from here and I would steer very clear of it. My aspie husband and I met on a political discussion group 15 years ago and I wouldn't have met him for movies, coffee, or even to yell at him. He was such a mean, hostile, angry person. He was really super bitter at being nearly 30, and no girlfriend pretty much ever. But you know what? Demanding someone spend time with you because F*CK HER IF SHE DOESN'T THAT BEEOOTCH doesn't really work so much. Just saying.

Facebook isn't exactly the best place to look for new friends. It's for existing friends or past friends to keep in touch. No offense, but you probably came off as creepy asking those random girls that you know to hang out. While on this message board, we know that you're probably harmless and just looking to have company, an NT woman is either thinking "This shy/creepy guy is trying to slime his way into my pants" or "This guy is desperate if he's asking random people he barely knows to hang out."

I've met two women off facebook - an ex, and just a girl as friends for coffee...but with my ex, we CLEARLY hit it off and both enjoyed our conversation and found each other attractive in our pics, and even then, she made me wait a month before meeting her because of the "you never know, there are a lot of weirdos out there" factor and also wanting to know more about me. The other girl, we were acquiantances in high school and had talked on facebook messenger a few times, and she happened to be back in town for a short visit, and we just went out for a cup of coffee. She was also extremely nice though and had Aspie qualities...never dated before despite being pretty, kind of the quiet, artsy type despite having a lot of friends.

A few months ago, I tried to befriend this really attractive girl that I graduated with on facebook. I realized, the reason it wasn't working isn't because of anything I was doing, but because she wasn't looking to make a new real-life friend, and probably, rightly, guessed that I was just another guy that thought she was hot.

You're better off overcoming your social anxiety and social ineptitude and talking to new women in person. Sound gave a lot of good advice.

I just recalled something which helped me become more social - My older sister. She's what you'd call a social butterfly. She'd bring me to parties, introduce me to people. From there the onus was on me to be sociable and keep the ball rolling. However, by simply helping me get into sociable circumstances, she helped significantly in my early 20's.
Most of the women friends I've met, and one I hooked up with, was simply due to her introductions.

In a similar way, if you have a friend who's particularly successful socially, level with them. Let 'em know you want to meet more people. Maybe they can help you in a similar fashion.

Hm.... And if you ever find yourself in the market for a new place to live, try to get a place in a geographically convenient location. Someplace close to social centers. And maybe see if you can get a roommate who is quite social. Association with someone who's sociable helps tons.

That might be part of the problem with your approach. Out in NT-land "Do you want to go to a movie with me?" is almost always a request for a romantic date not just hanging out with friends. At least that's what the media tells me. Of course when I was a teen the media also told me that anonymous notes from a secret admirer were seen as romantic not a sign that you have a stalker . . .

Why does the media tell me wrong things to do to fit in? LOL

It's hard not to be bitter, when after trying so hard to make some kind of connection, I've made none. It seems there is no way to win, that some larger force wants me to be alone. I'm inept because of this damn disorder or whatever the hell it is. Yet if I explain the situation, people will make ignorant assumptions, or figure I'm mentally ill or like Rain Man.

About all I can handle are being with one or two other people, because anymore and EVERY GODDAMN TIME I get squeezed out. They pair off, and soon I'm standing on the margins again. Last party I went to almost everyone was couples, and the one or two who weren't had no interest in an ugly, awkward person like me. I guess I'm not ugly, but I'm not good looking. Oh if only someone would just give me a chance, to learn a little more about me, I wish! I've got so much to give someone else, but it seems no one wants it. Like a girl I knew for years...and I always seemed so close to forming a connection with her, but geography always got in the way. But when that obstacle finally was removed, she'd found someone else, through a blind date, and in a month they were in a relationship and all lovey dovey.

And maybe that's it. Maybe I'm just so completely malformed and undesirable that all a woman needs is one conversation or meeting to discover, "I can do better than him." There's a great girl where I work, who I think we'd make a great pair, yet she'll have none of it. She's ambitious. She's dating an architect (she makes a point of mentioning that every damn time), as though to make plain I'm not good enough, being just a lowly freelance cameraman and editor.

I know I'll make good. I've got to. I've got something great and good to give the world, and I wish I could find someone who'd see that, who'd give me a chance. We could be such a great team! If only they could forgive the awkwardness, and see the genuine, earnestness behind it.

But I just don't know. I feel so unloveable, so undesirable, after so much failure and rejection. At night, I say, over and over, that I'd sell my soul for a companion, a partner, a lover, a friend. But I get no answer. If I've got a soul, I wonder if no one wants it, even for free..

All I've got left is a little hope. Hope that soon I will be successful, that I will continue to improve as an athlete, runner, and build myself a better stronger body (though my face is hopeless). It seems when you've got money and a good body, people are more willing to look past the faults. Instead of weird, you're an eccentric, or a genius. When I've got those things, when I've got a great place to live, I'll have something a person will want, and I will finally have someone who will want me, and want to be with me.

I'm gong to keep trying. My whole life, I've been judged by people, and dismissed. My whole life has been having to prove myself, to prove others wrong about me. They're wrong now, and I will prove them wrong again.

I deserve happiness, I deserve someone, and I WILL find someone!

to the women you texted yes you are that transparent. obviously you know them well as they know you. you need to branch out, instead of asking them out, chat them up see if they got a friend. everyone woman has that friend that just cant quite keep a guy, its certainly gonna be alot easier then trying to bridge the gap from "just friends"

You are never entitled to a girlfriend or even a first date. You can try to improve your chances, and you might even succeed, but regardless of what you do you are never entitled.