anyone else here not interested in relationships?

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Hi I am nearly 30 and have NEVER felt sexually attracted to anyone or to be honest wanted a relationship as in a romantic relationship at all. When I was younger (in my early 20s) I had a couple of non sexual relationships because I thought that was what you are "supposed" to do not because I wanted to. Then later I thought I must be gay but I feel no different towards women than I do men. I talked to my stepdad and he told me he thinks I am asexual I have investigated it and strongly beleive that is exactly what I am it makes sense. I am happy that way although being aspie it does seek to perhaps further isolate me. does anyone else here feel the same? Please do not tell me I "havent found the right man" asexuality is completely different to that.

You are not alone.

Congratulations for your self-discovery! I hope this helps you feel more settled now than prior years.

I sort of envy you - For the rest of us, sexuality is a strong impulse that, in many ways, we have no control over. It makes us think and do frankly dumb things. Oh well.

If you haven't seen it, you should check out www.asexuality.org. There's quite a few aspies on the site. I agree that being asexual and also an aspie is like a double-whammy of being different and it's not necessarily easy.

Thanks yeah i have I also found as aussie based site today. I did read somewhere that Asexuality is 17% in aspies compared to 1% in the general community so I guess I figured i wasnt alone.

I have AS, I'm asexual, and darn well proud of it.

To be honest, I've never felt sexually attracted to men or women either. I've never lusted after anyone, though I do have a tendency to get mentally "obsessed" with people of either gender when they show me enough compassion and acceptance. But romantic and sexual relationships seem like so much work and have such a huge potential for heartache that I don't think it's worth it for me to be part of one. If anything, I prefer to admire people from afar so that I don't run a risk of being rejected or betrayed.

I never really have been either. I'm 30, male, and self diagnosed AS (but will probably get a real diag soon.) i have always had people tell me they don't think i'm interested in dating/sex/etc. I don't know why i'm not, but i'm just not. I don't really enjoy physical contact so that probably has a lot to do with it.

I don't want them the way I used to. I want a partner now, whereas before I just wanted a girlfriend. I don't want to participate in relationships where people pull against me or are just too cheap and cowardly to pay a shrink to work through their trauma issues and think they are going to use my psyche instead. I also finally accept that I don't want to have sex with people for recreation, because at least if I'm alone I can at least fantasize that they are in love with me as part of the experience, which is better than the mechanical and loveless bumping of uglies any day, at least in my book. I'm getting older so now I want someone that I can plant rhododendrons and phlox with. Someone I can plant trees in the yard with, who wants to be there 20 years later when we can sit under the shade of that once tiny tree. That kind of thing. I am so over emotional garbage and high drama...in that sense there is no reason for me to go there anymore, it's a waste of time and energy with nothing truly worthwhile to recommend it. But that also came from knowing that I'm happier alone than in one of the psycho drama fests that is going nowhere.

People think I may sound crazy but I call people who are asexual very lucky. The reason I say that is because people who are truly asexual have no need for sex and they have no sexual attraction to anyone whatsoever. They are perfectly fine being alone and I envy those who really enjoy being alone because I wish I could. Now to answer the question, I want nothing to do with relationships. However I'm not asexual because I'm very much attracted to girls and being alone is frustrating to me because I have raging hormones that can't get any use out of. Really though, I have learned to deal with being alone because I have always been alone. However the pathetic fantasies of me being with other women won't go away. I really don't want girlfriends for the fact that I'm too nervous and I feel relationships aren't worth it but if I was truly asexual I would never need any.

No. I agree with you. I'm to the point where I feel like the only connection I have with my SO is a physical one. I can't stand his inane chatter, his smell, his sweat on my skin *shudder* but a piece of plastic won't do what he does.

I still need an inordinate amount of "me time", so after this relationship ends, I'm done with them all together. Every time I come back from his house, I feel like I've been beaten in the face with a brick because I haven't had any time to be in my head.

Im attracted to men but very rarely and Im not in any way a visual creature - that is, I don't look at a picture of a ripped male and get turned on.

I would like a relationship with someone I'm very attracted to and love and respect, but I doubt very much I could live with them. I never want to marry, I find it unhealthy and space invading, also I don't like looking around corners and making pacts of love for life when i never know what life will throw at me, it changes on a regular basis.

I'm very lucky to be one of those people who does not need a partner. I am perfectly happy just being, and being and doing stuff alone and with friends.

Ohhhh yessss....heh

I'm not asexual, but I don't care about getting a girlfriend anymore. It only ever ends badly, even if it is fun while it lasts. It also puts me off of more important things.

Now that it's over, I realize how much of a freaking distraction he was. I've hardly written anything in the last month. Uck. Companionship? Get a cat. Orgasms? Get a vibrator.

I've only been on two dates my whole life and both were boring and I wasn't that interested in either of them that much except the first guy, but that ended quickly and I didn't really care bc I didn't like him enough to give a crap.

I am really not interested in dating..I get attracted to men if they're good looking sure, I can appreciate a hot man (or female although I don't think I am a lesbian bc I have no more attraction to women than men), but the whole thought of dating someone long term bores me and I would never be able to stand someone wanting to see me every day and be around me all the time, I need lots of space. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have someone that isn't my family love me, but those thoughts soon fade. Mostly I like being alone and I am happy and okay with that. I don't know if I am asexual bc I do get attracted to people but that's about it.