C'mon, a little advice for Sho sho...

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What do you think about a 41 year old female with a 26 year old male ? He "has Aspergers" ( if you will ). He is ridiculously smart, a genius. She is deffinately not typical . She was diagnosed with schizoid personality , but also displays traits of Aspergers . Intense focus on narrow interests , hand flapping, pacing, photogenic memory for numbers etc... They are both way outside the box . Because they are both so different , I can see how finding a match could be a challenge . They are not settleing for each other , they are deeply in love. Nothing about their relationship is tradional to our society .
Do you think there is any way their relationship could last with her being 15 years older than he is? Sexually , is it possible for him to stay interested ?

Last edited by shoshanna on 27 Feb 2010, 11:34 am, edited 7 times in total.

Possible: Yes
Probable: No

But then again, I would say that about any relationship.

I think that sounds like a very fantastic relationship Shoshanna. They are both very lucky to have each other and to be able to feel that love. It made my night better to hear about it.

i highly reccommend any relationship that hooks up a cougar and a cub, by far the most successful (longest) relationship ive ever been in

Unconventional relationship -- not amenable to conventional relationship analysis or patterns, perhaps? Even if it doesn't work in the long run, I think they ought to go for it and be happy. Life is short, and all that.

As far as him being interested physically -- if he was a player who could get laid every other day, maybe sheer surface looks would be priority #1. OTOH, if someone who 'gets' and accepts him as he is has been rare in his life, she could be beautiful to him in ways that can go beyond surface stuff.

May I reference Harold and Maude?
Age is such a imaginary barrier between people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_and_Maude

Haha, indeed. Agreed, but with a dash less pessimism.

Yes, it works for some, but for me, that's just not my tastes. But I must say, those in my age group who I go to school with tend to be jerks and immature, combined with that I've never gotten along well with my age group.

my feelings exactly.

I actually prefer older women, as long as they're not more than 10 or 11 years older than me.

OK, I will try again.

Possible: YES!
Probable: Maybe?

Usually I consider relationships by the "half your age plus seven" rule, where basically if the younger person is less than seven years older than half the age of the older person (assuming, of course, that both are over 18 ), it's awkward to say the least. So let's see here:

41/2 + 7 = 20.5 + 7 = 27.5 > 26

So you guys don't fit the rule by a margin of a year or two. At any rate it's only a rule of thumb, so don't take it too seriously.

It's unusual, but if you are both in love and he's not using you for money/housing etc, then go for it!

well, what if he is? Why should that be a bar to two people having time together? It wouldn't even be brought up if a woman was using a man for money/housing, as that is almost the definition of a wife.

I beg your pardon, but that is not 'almost the definition of wife, or at least not in this century.

It is different if he loves her and just happens to be living with her. Using someone is completely different; it implies that if she did not have money or a home, he wouldn't be interested, and it is something to be wary of whatever your gender.

unfortunately, not everything is homogenously alike in the world, no matter what century you are in. What might not be true for you and yours is not necessarily true for the world.