How important is a sense of humor?

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I have seen a sense of humor listed fairly frequently as a quality that someone looking for a partner wants in the partner they are looking for.

I'm not sure that I believe it. People in couples tend to be boring in my experience.

But tell me what you think and whether you think a sense of humor really does help.

And if you think it does help do you think it can be overdone?

my dad had a wicked sense of humor in the active sense of telling jokes and in having an adroit comeback. my mother appreciated humor a great deal, and even laughed at things i said, and i consider myself comically inept [in multiple senses]. i have known couples where the husband was hilarious, as in my own parents' case. have not meet too many women who made me laugh. i can't explain the why of that.



a sense of humor, slightly twisted and dry, is a big lifesaver in my case, and i have defused tense situations of various types with a fortuitous quip or aside. i think more marriages could be saved if both partners took themselves a bit less seriously.



the only way i think humor can be overdone is if one's sides are hurting from laughing one's @$$ off. humor can certainly be inappropriate in some situations, but not too many, really. there is humor in every field of human experience, even in the bible. i think god must know that when you put a naked man next to an elephant, that there is humorous potential therein, so i firmly believe god has a sense of humor. so if the almighty sees the utility of mirth, why not anybody else?

You know...I think I know what that's about. My husband and I laugh together all the time, but I think it's the nature of the "couples" thing that more and more of the humor tends to be in-jokes. He can say something that's not really funny at all in and of itself, but it will reference some previous humorous thing that he and I shared and I'll laugh my butt off. Meanwhile, anyone whose with us looks at me like "Why in god's name are you laughing at THAT?"

Sheesh. I bet we do seem boring to outsiders. But we aren't bored together, so let 'em think what they want.

Speaking of that - have you heard about the Danish photographer exhibiting photos of her infant girl dressed up as famous evil dictators of history? The photos themselves I thought were kinds of unimaginative given the potential of the concept. Then it dawned on me after reading all the furor that such things invariably incite: Photographs of a baby with a Hitler mustache were never intended to be seen as graphic art - the entire exhibit is comedic performance art intended to evoke indignation and outrage from people with nothing serious to worry about and too much time on their hands. Andy Kaufman lives on.

Have you seen the website devoted "cats that look like Hitler?" People get SO mad and start ranting things like "how can you be so cruel to these cats?" Like the CATS care that they're being told they look like hitler...

I prefer lesser humor skills. If they overdo the amount of jokeing, they are likely to piss me off. I fail to see how humor is important though.

I think a sense of humor is a MUST! It makes living with someone else so much easier. When things get rough, we can laugh. When I am down, he can be silly to make me smile and vice versa. If I couldn't laugh with my bf, there would be no relationship.

Sense of humour is very important to me. I don't like people that are too serious I like to have a laugh and a joke with them.
But I also want them to have serious discussion too I don't want a complete clown.

got to have a sense of humour.. it doesn't matter as much as being able to take a joke though.

I am so silly in real life I couldn't be with someone who can't put up with it.

As for making me laugh, no, I don't have to be with a man who makes me laugh. I'm not generally into "funny" guys.

But they were married with kids so it wasn't just the two of them anymore. The spark in that relationship is dead so they need the humor because of the pain of marriage.



Oh, I get it now! When someone says they want a partner with a sense of humor what they mean is that you are supposed to put up with all of the s**t that they might pull on you, but that doesn't mean you're supposed to actually be funny yourself. When they say sense of humor they mean being the victim of the jokes and taking it in stride. No wonder it seems to good to be true, it is.

It's important to me. I tell (lame) jokes a lot to cover my nervousness, and it means a lot to me when people laugh.

I also like it when other people tell jokes, although personally, not if they sound like they're read directly from a joke-book, or slapstick (I think programmes like Jackass are stupid). If a guy can follow on a joke I've said with another joke, or invent a crazy story around an event/place that's just as good.

wtf are you talking about? No, thats not what people mean, and no, I'm not a nasty person. I joke a LOT, but they are not directed a partners or a particular person or nasty. I wouldn't say they "victimise" anyone.

Exactly. A sense of humor doesn't = being cruel.

I didn't mean that to come off as implying cruel or nasty. When I said the person was a victim I was jesting somewhat, though the term would be technically correct if we are talking practical jokes.

I'm just saying that when people say that they want a partner with a sense of humor many of them aren't mentioning that it is more important to be able to take a joke or laugh at some of his/her bad ones than to dispense one.

Oh, I think it's worth a LOT to be able to dispense the jokes. My brother is world-class, gasping-for-air, hold-your-sides, try-not-to-spit-your-drink-out, funny. Sadly, his humor does have a definite mean cast to it and his humor is virtually ALWAYS at someone's expense. I hate this part of it, but it sure doesn't seem to bother most women he encounters. He's not a bad looking guy, but he's not Brad Pitt either...and he dresses like he raided a junior high drama club costume closet. WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES AT HIM. Despite his meanness, his ridiculous hair and clothes, and the fact that he openly admits that he "doesn't believe in monogamy." Humor goes a LONG way.

Maybe for some people. I don't care for joke crackers personally.

I think what people mean when they say they want someone with a sense of humour, they want someone who they're not going to be walking on eggshells with. And people without a sense of humour are the ones who get very easily rubbed up the wrong way and often for little or no reason.