Do not know what loneliness is.

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After talking with someone at the office today. I have realised that he, including others do not actually know what loneliness is. He doesn't know that it is a disfiguring depression that really spoils life. He thinks it is someone that simple common-sense logic can stop while in reality not even someone who is a lot wiser and older can even stop it.

He equated search for finding love sometime being obsessive like a blind man who obsesses about being able to see. Sometime I feel is it like that as being blind doesn't actually hurt while loneliness is like a physical pain.

Is this dudes name buddha by any chance?

WOW! I'm not lonely often but I do know what loneliness is.

Taupey

Aspie_Chav, how is loneliness for you?

The first thing people tend to do is sum it up in a cute little metaphor like your friend just did; probably to shield one's self from actually coming to grips with it.

I have trouble recognizing emotions, always have. I've lived alone my whole life,(anxiety/panic disorder) and never said to myself "Man, I wish I'd get some company"(for example). I'd get depressed(which I never recognized, either) and feel like crap, but I never questioned "why?". That was until a couple years ago, when i discovered that i had AS, and started reading and learning things about myself that i never knew. And now that I'm much more 'in touch' with myself, I look back and realize that I was depressed because i was lonely, and never had a clue. So, I guess my point is.....I think there's still hope for the guy. I was the most clueless person on Earth, for most of my life, and now I like to think that I'm one of the most self-aware, after spending alot of time and effort learning all the "how's and why's" that pertain to myself. It's possible that he could do the same, someday.

Well said Jawbrodt. I have to say I have only recently discovered that I am an Aspergian and it's comforting to finally begin to learn why and how I am the way I am. I agree whole heartedly with what you have stated here. The more you learn about yourself the better you will understand and recognized what is actually going on. Discovery can turn you life right side up.

Taupey

Thats the thing, many aspies feel depressed long before they realise they are lonely. You can't tell them there is more then life then a relationship because they didn't know, there emotions are forcing them into a relationship. They are to busy with hobbies and being an aspie they often have plenty.

The self loathing bit also gets me, I didn't know I self loathed myself either some with other geeks.

Lately I try to lose some weight so I can be about 5% more attractive and lose same ass, and so I can buy some expensive clothes. Hustle so I can get some extra money. Guess what, I have an image crisis now defining myself because what other people think.

These things are only a means to and end, I am not emotionally attached to them. If it was attractive to be have lip disc and some man boobs done, that is what I would get done. If anyone says I am insecure because of my small disc or tiny man boobs, I will stick the disc right up their rass.

I honestly believe that neurotypicals do understand the concept of loneliness, however their method of coping with it is probably much different from the method slightly autistic people use. A lot of them (not all), probably see loneliness as a temporary state which can be fixed relatively soon, whereas we see it as a long, lengthy drawn out ordeal, and because we don't know exactly how to cope with it, or turn it into our favor, we remain in that state of loneliness. I've also observed that a lot of neurotypicals have a lot of friends to lean back on whenever they are single, so loneliness doesn't affect them so acutely.

Whenever I talk with some NT's and we get on the subject of loneliness, they've told me things like "oh, there was this one time where I was single for a month or two" or "I've been single for about six months, to a year or so". I find it humorous how naive their concept of loneliness is, as compared to slightly autistic guys being single for much longer durations.

However, I don't care about a lot of neurotypicals and their concept of loneliness. I believe that I understand to a certain extent their rationale, however like I said, I believe their concept of loneliness to be lacking in experience and understanding.

^^I see a boobie.




Always glad to contribute.

Everybody has their own definition of loneliness, which can occur even when in a relationship or married.

Is it not the ultimate Catch-22?

People hurt me, reject me, misunderstand me, bully make, make fun of make, and take advantage of me.
I prefer to be alone. No one to hurt me.
Yet, when my preference is achieved, the loneliness is almost too painful to bear at times.

I can't even recall the last time I felt lonely, It doesn't seem to compute to me personally. I find that when I am alone I am at my best, away from distractions, annoyances, etc. People are difficult, and I have learned after several series of roommates that I just need solitude to function.
From my perspective, society constantly reinforces the fact that being alone correlates to sadness, depression, etc etc, which I don't believe to be true, for me, I thrive.

I know that's right Bro!

Preferring to be alone for a day is OK, preferring to be alone indefinitely is unhealthy.

Yes, the NT's I know are unable to stay alone for very long. Some already have a relation lined up before they have ended the one they're currently in. They go from one relationship to the next. Other's settle for the first thing that comes along. I'm unable to do any of that.

I know some people, especially women, who seem to be going casually from one relationship to the next and I sometimes feel kind of jealous because they wouldn't have the same insecurities as I have about relationships. But for all I know they have other problems worse than my problems, and very often if said problems are not worse they're at least good competition.