How long is "taking a break" supposed to last befo

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it means that it was just a really passive aggressive way of breaking up with you?

It's been two weeks and although I'm not heartbroken, I'm still curious about how I should react if I see him in person.

I can't speak for him, but personally whenever I've said I'd like to take a break, take things slower to a boyfriend, I really had the intention of breaking up in my mind. Just wanted to lessen the blow I guess. I still ended up staying with my boyfriend anyway after saying those things, because those feelings of wanting to flee were temporary and eventually I came back around to wanting to stay and commit to the relationship. Not sure what your exact circumstances are with him or what your relationship with him has been like, and can't say how I would act around him in your place. Anyway, best of luck to you .

Yes, I am very, very sorry, but it isn't sounding good.

Hang in there, hun. I know you said you're not heartbroken, but nonetheless it has to hurt.

I think what hurts is that I wasn't considered good enough to have the courtesy of a "real" breakup. This guy was so controlling that I almost feel like he wanted me to stay on a break just so I wouldn't go around and get a new guy before he got a new girlfriend, so he knew immediately that he was free but meanwhile, anytime I see someone who looks interesting I have to ask myself "Wait... is this cheating?"

If you are taking a break, then obviously, somebody wasn't happy with the current state of affairs.

If they are enjoying the new paradigm, then there is no reason for contact with you. It's a rational progression.

Perhaps you could make casual contact and ask for an assessment? Suggest you've noticed that there does not seem to be interest, and is this the time to make it permanent and official? That will allow you to enter the grieving process, because it wouldn't be nice to do so and then have someone show up in a week or two wanting to end the break.

On my part, I can easily go weeks or months without realizing somebody in my life isn't there, so it would be beneficial to be sure, if one was "on a break" with me.

Indefinitely, and until otherwise specified, subject to the whims of the initiator. It's quite a selfish move.

If you two are good together, then he will make the effort to re-establish the relationship. The burden is now his to carry; None of it is yours, not even in part. Let him go and don't look back.

How should you react? Well, you can either fake how you feel around him, or not. If you can handle faking it, then just be amiable and try to be friends. But if your emotions are strong, then you should phase him out of your life quietly, without drama, without a speech or note or confrontation or conversation, and generally avoid him politely.

I never saw the point of 'being on a break'. As Sound says, it's very selfish of the initiator, because the person being broken up with is stuck in a sort of Limbo.

I can think of two reasons why someone would want a break;

1. They are too cowardly to dump you

2. They want to go look for someone 'better' but if they don't find it, they'll come back to you.

I honestly can't think of any excuse for a break, as opposed to actual dumping or staying in the relationship. Even if you are in a relationship but want space, the other person usually understands and backs off. You don't need to officially change the relationship status.

I would really recommend ringing him up or emailing him and taking control of your own situation. Tell him you want to feel free to date other people so you are moving on with your life and not hanging around waiting for him.

He will have to asess whether dumping you 'for a while' is worth the risk that you may have found another boyfriend by the time he makes up his mind whether he wants you back or not.

Precisely.
If he finds someone who grabs his attention more, it means he'll either:
A) go for a full break-up when he gets some balls,
B) attempt to keep things as they are, where you continue to hold the dor open for him, or
C) cheat on you if/when your relationship reasserts itself.

If he comes back to you, you will never have his full dedication; He feels he's 'settling' for you, and thus probably wont ever reach the level of investment that you are at. He will probably always end up feeling stifled, grasping for space.

Like building a house on shaky ground, by staying with this joker, you're inviting a world of hurt. Have faith that you can find someone else who's as good as him, if you are willing to get out there and put some effort into looking.

I don't feel that talking to him at length, particularly about this subject, will do anything that will help. In all likelihood, he will find effective arguments to convince you that none of this is the case. And he will be very convincing, and lying(either to you, or himself). I think a quiet phase-out, or a fast, cold-turkey break up is what's called for. Confronting him about this wont do any good. Even if you seek closure, you'll probably end up with more aggravation and lack of resolution than before. I could be wrong, but I think the dice are in my favor here. Things usually devolve into elaborate, stupid, needless drama when it comes to confrontations like these.

Ouch!

The minute he said "I want to take a break" is when he broke up with you. Why did he phrase it that way? It keeps you on hold for possible makeup sex when he's in the mood. When the makeup sex is over, he will resume the break.

Look away and never look back! And no matter what he says, no makeup sex!! !. He has left you so you must also leave him.

When you see him in person, act as though you've gotten on with your life. Do not, under any circumstances, let him talk you into makeup sex. Act as though you are over him, a little wistful about the past, but to you it is the past.

@MizLiz, how should you act if you should see him? I don't know....grateful? Honey, you dodged a bullet when that creep dumped you. Good riddance to him.