so how do you ask a girl out???

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So it appears i like this girl in my college class. We only know each others name. I really dont know what to say to her as i have trouble talking to girls. Any Advice?

I would talk to her and see what you have in common and try to be friends first. I am very shy myself and rather be friends first.

college girls like to think they now everything, especially about college guys. if she is remotely attractive in the least she is a target for frat boys. unless she is a sorority mattress paperweight then she wont be into those guys, you want to do you best to seperate yourself from that genre. goes with the dating rules too. dont ask her on a date at first, suggest getting together and discussing class over coffee. ******very important******** dont forget your books, from the second she walks in the door she sees the book and knows your genuine about talking about class even when your not. spend at least 15 minutes about class before moving on to her. stick to small talk, who she is, family, what she likes to do. keep it light just general get to know you stuff.


when that works come back here for date 2 instructions

what topics should i come up with? Ive never asked a girl out before (sad i know)

first time out with her keep it basic start with the getting to know you stuff and if you get more comfortable then you can move on to more involved aspects of her. now you might have to come up with stuff about you. i cant predict what she will ask you but i can generalise a few questions.

so tell me about you?

this question you want to stick to your college life as it pertains to what your what your going to school for. try not to make it sound like a job interview. keep it light and quick.

where you from? family? etc.

on this you can go into detail about immediate family, no extended family, stick to mom and dad brothers and sisters. this is a good topic to stretch out to fill time. you can go into detail about mom and dad but keep brothers and sisters light

what do you do for fun?

unless your a social butterfly keep this brief and to the point. and vague! im fine just hanging out going for a drive. staying in with someone watchin movies, getting a few drinks at a bar.

another important thing keep the coffee date under an hour and a half. if you cant get comfortable with her in that time, its not gonna happen

any of you guys have any luck dating?

The asking out game has always been a mystery to me. If I were you, I'd wait to see if she mentions a boyfriend; if shes does you're out. Perhaps you want to get to know her first to see if you know enough about her before deciding if she is worth asking out. Just remember that girls send mixed signals so be careful. I've been hit on and flirted by girls with boyfriends more times then I'd like to be.

women with boyfriends and husbands bought me a house, so all hope is not lost. not to brag but i think im pretty successful at dating, keeping a realationship going is another story but dating im good with

the hard part is picking up social cues

like i said keep these first dates short and sweet, nothing officially a date, once you warm up to her then take it from there. the pre dates just get you two familiar with each other

thanks bully, i will try all in my power on monday to ask her. Monday is when i have the next class.

oh would not having a drivers license affect the outcome in the future? I relie on public transit.

not for pre dates, every college campus has a coffee bar somewhere close

You need a "hook". Ask a question on an item to start the conversation. Make sure it's a question and not just a comment which might come across creepy. For example, you noticed a Chemistry book: "Hey, I noticed you're taking Chemistry (or whatever). I've been worried about taking that; do you have a good professor?" This will lead to a conversation about whether the professor is good or not. Try to genuinely be involved in the conversation rather than just waiting for an opportunity to strike. You may even want a day to go by. Then you can follow up with something like "Thanks for helping me out with that info on professor Horkenheimer (NOTE: Professor names may vary, edit accordingly) the other day. Can I thank you by taking you out to coffee?"

You'll find this approach far less creepy-sounding AND less threatening as you're not just some random stranger coming up and asking for a dinner date waaaaay too soon. If the coffee "date" goes well, then move to the next step with a lunch date. You'll be able to tell after that if it's going anywhere. Focus on COMMON interests (not just YOUR interests) and try to make yourself take a genuine interest in what she is talking about.

I think you should go about it somewhat directly, without framing it as a date.

1) Arrange an event, something to do, something fun. This could include friends, or not. Either way, you will have already made plans to go do something alone that you enjoy. It does not exist dependent upon this lady. You're gonna go out regardless of her.
2) "Hi! I don't know you... like... at all, but you seem pretty cool. I'm going out to [BLAHBLAHBLAH] next Friday. It's should be fun, because [BLABLAHBLAH]. It goes from [CONVENIENT START TIME] to [RIGIDLY DEFINED END TIME]. Want to come with? And you could bring some friends, if you want. I invited some of mine, don't know if they'll come or not, though."

You'll note that it doesn't exactly come off as a date.
That's because it's not a date, and that's the goal. You want to get out doing fun things where you can get to know the person by whatever means. It helps a lot to make the occasion accessible to the other person, not just in schedule, and tastes, but emotionally. Dates represent pressure. Not just for you, but for her. It's very uncomfortable, and easy to anticipate with worry and other negative thoughts.

Nominally, you want to set up something that someone just can't say no to. Something where it's like, why would anyone say no? You want something easy going, relaxed, where everyone can be themselves and, and worry about as few things as possible. That said, you also want to arrange something where you'll get plenty of chances to talk(and definitely to flirt). This is a recipe for a good time that leads to more good times and good feelings. So long as you flirt from near the beginning, and give a couple early chances to show your direct romantic interest in her, you'll get resolution one way or another. And if she's not interested romantically, at least you could potentially hang on to her as a friend since you've already established friendship activities.
In summary: Genuinely pursue her as friend, and flirt early and often.

In contrast, something that wouldn't be nearly as helpful, or much more tenuous and prone to rejection would be: Schedule a classic date.
My point: Don't do dates. Dates don't help anyone. Not unless it's some sort of event, like Valentines Day or some other extra-personal circumstance.

Good luck!