Making a good impression on women

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I'm not exactly a Cassanova myself, but there is one things I learned during the last few months with regards to how to make a good impression on women I thought I'd share with you guys since many of you have had even less luck romantically than I had in the past.

I recently went on a date applying the knowledge I'd learned and I think there can grow at least a friendship out of it and eventually maybe even a relationship if I don't screw up in the process. It went a lot better than most first contacts I've had with a single straight woman I didn't know already from online communication and was really surprised this stranger gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek after talking for only about 3 hours. So what exactly did I learn?

Well, I can summarize it like this :
-- Avoid talking about yourself unless your stories are funny, adventurous or relevant to whatever she just said. Keep your stories relatively short and to the point. Talking about yourself or your own interests too much appears quite self-centered and if she isn't really interested in a particular topic you might come off as boring or annoying. Of course, if she actually asks you about yourself, feel free to elaborate as long as you can keep your story interesting and preferrably humorous or adventurous.
-- Ask questions about her job, her interests, her daily life and let her talk elaborately. This shows you're interested in her personality and not just her body. Of course, you have to be actually interested of pretend like you're interested or she'll think you're a fake. So don't move on to the next topic too quickly. For example, if she answers a question that could be answered more in detail, ask another one that allows her to do so.
-- If she appears insecure with regards to her appearance, her personality or her intelligence, reinforce her selfesteem by giving compliments relevant to the areas she's insecure of. Try to be as subtle as possible. If you succeed, she will feel better about herself and she will regard you as someone who can make her feel better about herself. It's a great step towards both friendship and romance. Don't give her random compliments and don't be too explicit or it may backfire.

While I'm sure some of you already consider this selfevident, it took me quite a while to figure out the theory and even longer to put it into practice. Thus, I'm sure this advice will be useful for at least some of you.

If there are any women or any Cassanovas on this board who can add any more advice, feel free to do so.

Have good hygiene! Bathe daily, use deodorant, brush your teeth, shampoo your hair and wear clean clothes from the skin out. Clean under your fingernails and trim them neatly. Remember, anything you would like her to (eventually) touch should be inviting to that touch. You may have the charm of Adonis, but if your hygiene makes her think to herself (ewwwwww ) you haven't a snowball's chance in Hades.

Merle

That sounds quite obvious to me, but you're right... It wasn't as obvious when I was 16

From personal experiences, I will list what I have noticed. These are based on observations on the reaction of women towards me and other people, especially friends, that i have observed.

HYGIENE
Keep yourself clean, doesn't necessarily have to be 'neat'. I will touch upon this more as I go on. Make sure you at least shower everyday; or if you are the environmentally conscientious type, every other day, but rinse/wash your hair every day. Other daily things include teeth, changing clothes. Make sure to keep your fingernails in check, they don't have to be perfectly smooth and polished, but at least keep em short. Shaving of the face - Keep it neat if you have a goatee or beard/stache, otherwise get rid of it UNLESS your going for a more grunge look (think Kurt Cobain, have some stubble, but keep it under control). Body hair is questionable, some people absolutely abhor hit, while others don't mind. For practicality reasons though, its best to do without, especially since more hair = more risk for ingrown hair and pilonidol cysts. Arm hair shouldn't be an issue, but trim the back/shoulders/back of neck/stomach and perhaps the rear and unspeakables.

Clothing/Fashion
Fashion.... yeah don't ask me. I tend to wear whatever is clean, and I haven't received any Flak about it yet. As long as your own personal style matches up, I guess its ok, including hair. If your actually gonna go out for a more 'romantic' evening though, id probably recommend you dress a bit nicer, maybe a button up shirt w/ khakis or something.

It's always a good idea to ask a female or gay friend for clothing advice. Usually they have more insight in this area.

Its more like I just wear whatever, and dont really give a damn if people like it or not, that and the fact i find the whole fashion industry just that, an industry i dont ever need to care about.. Its not the AS-ness kicking in. Id rather have the person im after focus on personality than my clothing/appearance.And from experience it tends to work out. I dont really give a s**t if its "in or not", if I like the way it looks on me, I will wear it.

Still... It does help if you take a woman and/or a gay male out for shopping and pick out some clothes that both "hip" while at the same time matching your personal taste. Attraction is often a matter of first impression and a first impression is usually based on superficial traits like clothing and hairstyle.

I'll add, be nice to people to whom you are not attracted to as well. If you only pay attention to the good-looking ones, it will be pretty obvious that your 'nice-ness' is just an act to get into their pants.

that's really good advice.

and every person knows at least 5 other single women. Why alienate someone that could introduce you to the love of your life? If you are cordial to all, you get far more opportunities to meet women that are actually recommended to you. Charming older women but being a perfect gentleman will open a conduit to all the single relatives and other of their friend's relatives to meet, too.

One word: Money.

Would you be interested in a woman who's just after your money?

Hell no, I dont want a gold-digger :/

I think this is generally good advice.

What I have to add is that it seems to work for impressing men too.

People who are emotionally stable enough to handle being in any sort of relationship tend to gravitate towards other people who make them feel good. People feel good when someone seems to take a genuine interest in them (not what they look like, but what their life is like, what they think about, what interests them, etc). Once someone is talking about something that interests them, it's easy to add compliments like, "I've never met anyone who knew so much about _____ !" or "I think most people wouldn't have the strength to do what you did," etc. Stuff like that tends to be so obvious, it's inevtably genuine, and yet it feels good to hear it.

Basically, people like it when other people pay attention to them, respect them for who they are, and make them feel unique . . . and ideally inspired. I think it's nice to give people inspirational compliments based on their interests, like, "Since you say painting makes you so happy, why not do more of it? Stop judging yourself and saying you're not that good; that's for other people to decide. If you do what makes you happy, you will get better at it with time, and then you could end up making a living out of doing what you love."

Laughter is also essential. The more you can make someone laugh, the more at ease they'll feel around you. They'll also associate you with feeling entertained.

Then balance out the humor by challenging them intellectually; people in general seem to enjoy this. People get tired of talking about the same old political subjects, so you can challenge someone intellectually while keeping things light-hearted by asking questions that aren't too serious yet make them think - preferably something having to do with their interests. (Can't think of a good example.)

I'm still confused in some ways about how to impress men, but I have concluded that a lot of it boils down to just making the person feel good - relaxed, confident, entertained, inspired, etc.

JUST after the money? Of course not. But many males go to bars/clubs and don't look at "personality" but gravitate towards attractive women. The problem with that is looks are very fleeting and reveal little to nothing of the substance beneath. I can guarantee 100% that looks will fade.

To earn/keep money takes a little bit more. Either intelligence, family connections or hard work. Money is definately an appetizing bait.

I can't say I would be interested in women I can't look at without realising how ugly she is, but I have to problem with dating women with fairly plain or average looks. What matters to me most, is their attitude towards life, their interests and their personality and I guess I'm looking for a woman with that same perspective.



I know... which can be quite a pain in the @$$ if you're looking for a job as well... especially considering I once had a well-paid job with a company car and I was living together for about 3 years with an ex.