Break Up!

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So through text he says I'm not capableof being in this relationship, there are alot of things within that I do not understand. I have given all that I can and maybe I am not ready for a relationship, but I don't want to hold on to you knowing I am hindering you and not giving 100%. I would much rather take a friendship with you not a Relationship at this time. Please understand and if that is something you don't want then I understand, but I wish the best for you.
guys at this time I really do not know how to deal with this. I am hurting so much. I tried to explain everything to him and this is what happens.

I know it hurts and right now you feel panicky. Take some deep breaths, sip some tea if you can, and don't try to fix this right this second. (even if you think you can) Give both you and him some space.

*hugs*

Let me say that to do that through text is cowardly. Perhaps he is feeling as awkward as you are.

I would definitely give it some space, attempt a friendship. When the pressure is off, things may be easier.

Good luck!

I've heard that before too. It's not a comfortable boat, but sometimes established space, a pause and a reexamination is all that is needed. If that doesn't work, you might have to move on.

Breaking up via text is so wrong - you deserved better than that. You weren't wrong for trying to explain yourself to him - what could the alternative to explanation have been? You did as much as you could given the situation you had to work with: you, him, a fair amount of misunderstanding, and what I suspect wasn't exactly 100% effort to work things out from all parties involved.

I'm not a big proponent of pursuing friendship after a relationship ends. Too often friendship is suggested by the person who initiated the break-up as a way to soften the blow (with no real intention of pursuing a friendship); or by the person on the receiving end of the break-up as a way to stay connected to the ex - and as a means of rekindling the romance. I don't recommend it for those reasons. However if you really want to pursue a friendship with him, I suggest you wait quite a while to do so. When you try to be friends with someone you're still pining for, it's extraordinarily painful, and really slows down (and can even stop) the healing process.

When you're ready, you can look at this relationship objectively, and try to determine what you might do the next time around to avoid the same pitfalls (not at all implying that this is your fault with that statement, just recommending some introspection when you feel up to it). Good luck, honey.

I do not know how to deal with it right now. It hurts so so much. I can not handle this right now.

help me you all please. My emotions are overwhelming. Please support me you all. Do not ignore me.

I am not sure there is anything that can help you right now. You are just going to have to take a step back and try to relax. It hurts now, but it isn't the end of the world. Go for a walk or dive into something that can keep you mentally occupied. It will be easier in time-- but you need to calm yourself first.

Its never hurt me any less when someone came to my door to dump me. I think I'd find it a tad less humiliating if they didn't do it in person.


unitedprayr, don't waste too much emotional energy trying to understand they whys, or to make sense of it all. People make decisions for their own reasons and at the end of it all, it doesn't matter why. Knowing why won't make it hurt less, only time will do that, and if you're invested in the relationship (and you certainly seem to be) you're just going to feel heartsick and in shock for a while. As hard as it is to think this way - do not obsess on trying to fix the situation - even if you could put a Band-Aid on it, it would be a temporary fix, then you'd have to go through this pain all over again. The other person simply isn't as committed as you are, and you deserve someone who will be.

Find something to distract you until the ache subsides, and let yourself heal for a while. I know right now it feels like nothing will ever be okay again, but I promise you it will.

^ This is good advice, so is MichelleRM78's. Concentrate on your breathing....slow yourself down....take MichelleRM78's advice and try to lessen the intensity of what you're feeling with some sort of distraction. You will survive this. I know the pain seems unbearable right now - but it isn't. I know it isn't because I've been through it, and most people have - and I'm still here. I'm not trying to be tough on you at all - just letting you know that as hard as it seems right now, you will get through this.

Wow its was a short while ago i would have said that very speech to my Gf to her face though not by text i have broke up with her before it hurts i know but we back together now and happy again.

Talk to him and tell him your feeling on how you have thought the realeationship was going maybe he just feels he is wasting your time on him... at least that what i felt i was doing to my GF but yeah if you still want to be with him then exsplain to him how you feel and reasure him that he is doing ok... that is of course if you still want to be with him?

All the best and take it slow and steady make sure you exsplain it too him.

oh yeah one more thing is he an aspie?

no I am. He said he could not handle me.

Well, think of it as his problem. He was unable to support and care for you. That doesn't mean that someone else can't manage this, or that it's entirely your fault. He sounds like a coward, from the way he dumped you, so no wonder he hasn't the spine to deal with someone who isn't Disney perfect.

Perhaps as someone with aspergers, you are different to other girls he has dated, but he still owed it to you to respect you.

That's something he will have to live with though- and if his future gf's ever find out, they won't think too highly of him either.

There isn't s*** I can do since having never even been in a relationship I've obviously never handled a breakup either.

thanks everyone. find me a boyfriend would you all. lol

To be honest, those darned Disney movies has everyones expectations of a relationship so annoyingly inflated.