Attraction to Jerks: Biology at Work

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I know how sensitive a topic this can be. Even so, this topic wouldn't come up so regularly without being a relatively common situation. Not every woman out there will be attracted to jerks. In fact, I would say that it's simply a large minority exhibiting this behavior. (Enough to catch the attention of guys not getting any.)

Traditionally, people have not lived in cities with effective governance and responsive police. It only makes sense that aggression and muscular builds would be seen as attractive. The problem seems to be much more subtle.

The long-held intellectual consensus is that our behaviors are a choice. If these alpha jerks can simply 'choose' to be better men, then theoretically all a woman needs to do is convince him to behave.

In fact, if a woman can get that muscular, overly aggressive guy to behave and get a good job, then she has the perfect man. (No contest there, not even from me.) All she needs to do is convince him to behave, right?

Is the consensus flawed? Do people really choose how to act?

>Here ya go, a good, existing thread where this stuff would fit quite well.

Back in the caveman days a big strong macho jerk could probably protect his woman and put meat on the table.

These days a weedy computer programmer with a $100,000 plus job would probably be a better choice.

I was never really one for jerks, or men in that matter.

What is it with all these men who are attracted to women who like jerks?

*walks out of thread whistling innocently*

Or, the topic could be coming up regularly because it is relatively common for people to perceive their trouble with women as coming down to "nice guys versus jerks" without it necessarily being the case.

I wonder something about this-- and I have nothing to back it up, but just an idea.

"Jerks" tend to be self sufficent, have their own ideas, have their own interests, and appear strong minded. I wonder if those qualities are actually what women are attracted to, and not the actual jerkiness. I know women complain about "nice guys" being too submissive and not strong willed enough in a lot of cases. Just an idea.

How do you know the guys are jerks? If someone has something you don't, you might be jealous and be more inclined to think they're jerks.

But even in the caveman days, an offender might have been subject to penalties and then as now, self destructive behaviors and unhealthy habits carry their own penalties.

People can choose how to act, but there are physical constraints. A strong, muscular person can choose to act either aggressive or meek, but a weak or obese one may have a more limited set of choices.

Maybe we need to visit the gym more and widen our range of behaviors to include pretending to be jerks.

I don't know.

Even I've never understood "women's" attraction to the bad boy image.

Yeah, a girl could do no better than get marooned in the boonies with a guy who can beat her to death on a whim.




I'm six-one, work out and weight train every day. I behave quite well, because I despise aggression and ignorance, but put me in a social situation in which one of the cocky brutes you're describing is showing his ass, and there's a certain type of girl who'll leave with the ape every time. On the upside, I learned years ago just what those girls are like when you do get to know them, and the apes can have 'em.

But don't kid yourself, you can't teach an ape to behave like a human. They're apes. Get 'used' to it.

Quite a good one! As Bill Gates once said: "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."

In general, both guys and girls have been going jerk in the last while or so.

As I told someone... I'd rather slap or punch the guy who acts like a butt hole on purpose.

Having experienced a lot of bullying from guys growing up, I sure as hell have no desire to be in a relationship with a 'jerk'.

There's nothing particularly intellectual about that point of view. It is a prejudice and certainly is non-scientific.

Following this 'intellectual consensus' all autistic behaviours are made out of 'choice' and therefore autistic people are just nerds or weird because their behaviour has no basis in biology or neurochemistry or anything else related to unseen factors.

Can you say, specifically, what it is about them that you don't like, other than that they're not going with you?



Well, maybe. I have this running joke that people aren't all that far from swinging from the trees and throwing their poop. This assertion is born out by the observation that people will insist on doing backward and harmful things for the macho appeal when better choices and more effective technologies are available. Planet of the Apes!