Going over past failures

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Maybe it's just the mood i'm in, but i've been goin over my past failures in my mind. It seems like i've hit a wall. It's been several years since anyone showed any real interest in me. I don't understand guys. I adored a friend of mine. I met him recently at a wedding and we talked for hours. At the end of the evening he asked if he would see me again before he left for New zealand. I said yes. He asked several times and each time i said yes. But he didn't contact me, even though he could and has gone

That's a shame about the NZ bloke. Maybe he asked you several times because he couldn't believe it when you said yes, and then afterward still doubted you, so didn't call. I'm like that. But then, It might be something else entirely.

Did you learn anything by rehashing your past? If not there's no point.

I have the problem of repeating failures in my mind. I work hard to focus on the next step.

Going over your mistakes and failures is useful up to a point, but if you are not getting any useful understanding of yourself from it, it is best to stop. And it is only useful if it gives you insight into how not to get into that situation again.

What is harder is going over what you have done well and where you can be successful in the future. It can be useful to make a list of things that have gone well for you. Actually write it down on paper. Also I find that visualizing a positive outcome can give me energy and enthusiasm to keep going whereas dwelling on my mistakes saps my energy.

We all make mistakes from time to time. But we all have areas where we are pretty good as well. It's just easier to look at the down side of everything.