How not to get a boyfriend/girlfriend

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I remember when I was 17, there was this cute boy in my class. He was handsome and overweight but he still looked cute. One day I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no and I asked if he wanted to be my boyfriend. He said he was too old for me. He was 18 but nine months older than me. So I told him our ages touch and we can be together. He still said he was too old for me and then I thought he thought I wanted him for sex so I told him I don't want him for sex I just want a boyfriend. Kids laughed and I couldn't understand why it was so funny.

Then a week later during my IEP my aid said I needed to work on my social skills and I didn't see what was wrong with them since I talk to kids now in my class. She brought up last week in culinary arts where I said this boy was cute and wanted him to be my boyfriend. My mom was there and she asked what did I do and she said I asked him to be my bf and I mentioned how I didn't want him for sex and he was blushing and he was trying to be polite by saying he was too old for me. My mom just burst out laughing. She said that was so typical me and very naive.
I didn't pick up on social cues or even pick up on he was ejecting me and he was just trying to be nice by saying he was too old for me. Instead it gave me the wrong idea. I also didn't understand the social rules of getting into a relationship. I didn't get it then how it was AS but I get it now.

Then my mom told me how you get a boyfriend, you start out as friends, you go out on dates and talk about each other. Then it leads to a relationship. You don't just walk up to someone who you have never been friends with and ask them to be your boyfriend.


So any funny aspie stories to share about attempting to get a boyfriend or girlfriend?

This is sooooo embarrassing, was back in the days before i'd gathered a nice amount of social awareness.

Anyway I basically had a massive crush on this girl (was like 9 at the time) and I totally used to tell her she smelled and also used to push her away and hit her a lot. Back then I was being mean about it. One time I told her she was the ugliest girl in class as well.

The real funny aspect of this those is right now I do the above all the time to girls (in a nice way) and it works out perfectly for me.

Yes, many, although as a submissive gay man, I'm rarely asking.

Just last week (well,it was three years in the making) an acquaintance asked me out. I've long been interested in him, so I was pleased. However, our set date of Tuesday ended up not working because he worked late, so we rescheduled for Thursday, and I couldn't make it then due to a computer problem. We actually crossed paths on Friday night, so I began interacting with him as though we were on a date, because, look, here we are in the same place! We were confirmed for Monday. When I asked what time we were on for Monday, he stated that Monday wouldn't work for him because of something at work, so I asked about Tuesday, which had been our backup, and he skirted that too. Even though we have Facebook contact, he has said nothing. And apparently whatever he said about his niece on Tuesday was a lie, because that is not what his status says he is doing.

The last guy I tried to date was a neurotic intellectual type, as I am. He was in grad school at 21; I graduated high school at sixteen, we both loved psychology. We hit it off well, played some chess, confirmed a physical connection . . . and our last encounter ended with him asking if he could kiss me goodnight. In my gay training, this does come AFTER sex, and this was no different.

He disappeared under the explanation that (he had mentioned he suffered from severe depression) he wanted nothing more than to sit and stare at the wall and he was suffering a severe depressive episode. This sounded very real to me, so I believed it. My roommate assured me he was blowing me off. So I sent a text apologetically asking if that was the case, and if so, I would politely discontinue contact. He assured me that wasn't the case, and that he did want to continue seeing me in the future. My roommate still shakes his head and says I have no idea. It sounds like the truth to me, but I guess I'm blind.


I've had these experiences for years.

Well some relationships can start by one asking the other i should know my GF randomly walked up to me and asked me out and i said yes.

as for social cues i cant se there being any for asking someone out its a simple question of yes or no and should not require any social knowlage really.

Its weird and i would have thought that most guys would like the idea of a girl wanting him for sex not that thats what i was implying for you.

Any ways a good idea would to try and befreind him and gain his trust and then ask again later then i think you may stand a better chance

Hope it helps

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Youtube killed the video star!


My favorite letter is the squiggly! ~

In this picture, there are 47 people... (Oops, that's How Not to Be Seen)

Don't reveal unemployment if that is your case.

Don't put "Christian" as your religion unless you are one (some people do this to deter people propositioning them for sex).

When I was 11... I had a boy I liked at a summer camp. It was somewhat mutual... as we hung out the entire time there and were made fun of for THAT reason. We exchanged addresses so we could write. I must have sent him several letters over a couple months with no response... I thought we were bf/gf and I even vaguely remember the silly things I said in the letters, which made me all the more embarrassed that when he DID write me back finally... It was to simply ask me to stop writing him and that he didn't like me as a gf.

Aww thats sad he could of at least made the effort to try and keep in contact and keep the "relationship" going

_________________
Youtube killed the video star!


My favorite letter is the squiggly! ~

Most of my stories involve hoping the gal would notice my feelings and fall into my lap without any effort from me. Now I know that is not the way to go, so I learned a valuable lesson.

I have been in a strange relationship where this man initiated it, told me that he liked me and led me to believe he really was interested, then he seems uninterested and distant. Then he acts like he is interested again. He has been going back and forth for months. As far as I'm concerned, he can go back and forth til Hell freezes over, but I'm done with him and his crap. Why can't people just say what they mean directly to you? Why do they play these stupid games?