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aeroz
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26 Mar 2010, 10:30 pm

Because of our society and me being, well me. So this caught me abit off guard when a girl contacted me online and was rather clearly interested in me. Normally I'd suspect spam, but no she's an actual person and we've had some talks and all that. Though I am as awkward with women as ever, but still managed to get a date with her so thats something.

Was a nice confidence boost though. Even if just one girl, its been a very long time since a girl made an effort to talk to me. Luckily I'm somewhat better then last time, when I was so down on myself I was in denile that someone found me desirable.

Only real downside is she is alot younger then me. Legal age for where I live, but just barely. Our familities wouldn't exactly approve



Lene
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27 Mar 2010, 7:54 am

I don't think most people would approve. You're 23. She's, what, 16?



ValMikeSmith
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27 Mar 2010, 1:09 pm

If its legal I wonder why not.
Why would it be any better if they were both 16?
Then it would seem to me more likely to result in irresponsible pregnancy.

Hypothetically.
I am not imagining myself in that situation or otherwise interested,
and certainly concerned about people thinking otherwise.



aeroz
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27 Mar 2010, 1:33 pm

for my family its more about how young she is then the age differance itself. My grandparents were ten years apart and happily married until the day my grandfather died. Compared to that 7 years isn't that big of a deal. We believe chronological age is ultimately a very minor thing. Two years from now when she is 18 they wouldn't bat an eye. But they worry about the implications. The trouble that can cause.

Make no mistake I wouldn't enter a serious relationship with anyone I didn't find mentally mature. Which I need to spend time with her to find out. Teenagers tend to be, well, stupid. But she seems to be past that point in her life. Long as she is mature enough for a relationship I dont see why age matters



jagatai
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27 Mar 2010, 1:58 pm

I think that the age difference between a 16 year old and a 23 year old is much greater than that between a 37 year old and a 44 year old, because a difference in years doesn't tell the whole story.

I have read posts on this forum from 17 year olds that suggest far greater maturity than some 55 year olds. No one is perfectly mature in all areas and I think it is the responsibility of all people to behave in the most mature manner that they can. To not do so is... well... irresponsible. There is a good chance that you have more experience and than a 16 year old so you need to make sure you do not take advantage of a choice she makes out of inexperience. From what you have written, I suspect you have this maturity.

I will quibble a bit on one statement you make:

Quote:
Teenagers tend to be, well, stupid.


Some teenagers are stupid. Some are smart. The same goes for anyone of any age. What teenagers tend to be is inexperienced and the things that are important to them tend to reflect what they want or need to learn in life. They may do things that are ill advised or self destructive simply because they do not have the experience to know a better option, but that doesn't make them stupid.



DavidM
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27 Mar 2010, 4:51 pm

Women my own age don't look twice at me.

I like school girls. :oops:



aeroz
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27 Mar 2010, 5:38 pm

jagatai wrote:
Some teenagers are stupid. Some are smart. The same goes for anyone of any age. What teenagers tend to be is inexperienced and the things that are important to them tend to reflect what they want or need to learn in life. They may do things that are ill advised or self destructive simply because they do not have the experience to know a better option, but that doesn't make them stupid.

yes I misspoke. Irresponsible. Again, thats just a tendency. Those hormones impair judgement. Seems to affect aspies differently as I never even felt tempted to do that kind of crap.

DavidM wrote:
Women my own age don't look twice at me.

I like school girls. :oops:

Just watch first minute of this



Klint
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29 Mar 2010, 7:24 pm

aeroz wrote:


Hahaha, awesome find! :mrgreen:



hale_bopp
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29 Mar 2010, 8:40 pm

teen girls liking guys in their 20s is a novelty, they feel "cool" to have an older boyfriend to show off - and it wears off as they grow up.

Yeah 7 years isn't that much difference on the scale of things. The reason people don't approve of it is because of the maturity difference. It doesn't matter for your grandparents because probably they were both fully grown adults when they got together. Not an adult getting into an adolescent.



Daniella
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31 Mar 2010, 9:08 am

hale_bopp wrote:
teen girls liking guys in their 20s is a novelty, they feel "cool" to have an older boyfriend to show off - and it wears off as they grow up.


:?

Late 20's was really considered too old for my friends when we were aged 13 - 18.
If someone was 18, 19, 20 or even very early twenties, sure.
Anything over that became kind of creepy and came across as desperate. According to them.


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Lonermutant
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31 Mar 2010, 4:30 pm

aeroz wrote:
Because of our society and me being, well me. So this caught me abit off guard when a girl contacted me online and was rather clearly interested in me. Normally I'd suspect spam, but no she's an actual person and we've had some talks and all that. Though I am as awkward with women as ever, but still managed to get a date with her so thats something.

Was a nice confidence boost though. Even if just one girl, its been a very long time since a girl made an effort to talk to me. Luckily I'm somewhat better then last time, when I was so down on myself I was in denile that someone found me desirable.

Only real downside is she is alot younger then me. Legal age for where I live, but just barely. Our familities wouldn't exactly approve


Aeroz, she seems like a cyberbully to me. Stay away from her and forget her.



Merle
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03 Apr 2010, 11:10 pm

Lene wrote:
I don't think most people would approve. You're 23. She's, what, 16?


23 and 16? Best relationship of my life. Lasted 7 years and I wasn't capable enough of handling the emotion/comittment portion. She's the one who got away.



Seanmw
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06 Apr 2010, 7:50 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
aeroz wrote:
Because of our society and me being, well me. So this caught me abit off guard when a girl contacted me online and was rather clearly interested in me. Normally I'd suspect spam, but no she's an actual person and we've had some talks and all that. Though I am as awkward with women as ever, but still managed to get a date with her so thats something.

Was a nice confidence boost though. Even if just one girl, its been a very long time since a girl made an effort to talk to me. Luckily I'm somewhat better then last time, when I was so down on myself I was in denile that someone found me desirable.

Only real downside is she is alot younger then me. Legal age for where I live, but just barely. Our familities wouldn't exactly approve


Aeroz, she seems like a cyberbully to me. Stay away from her and forget her.
i'm just curious where you get the whole "cyberbully" thing from. That made me laugh :lol:

i just think she'd prolly be a little immature if anything.
@Aeroz: but yeah, i agree with the other part, prolly be better to find someone closer to 18. More convenient if nothing else since at 18+ they tend to be better drivers and not legality issues, can actually drink with you legally if they're 21+, etc


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