A bit behind :( advice/thoughts/input if possible please

Post Reply New Topic

Im 16 nearly 17 and I've only ever kissed 3 different girls (properly that is) and i didn't even really have feelings for them its just because they came on to me and i din;t know what to do. all my freinds are in long term relationships or have lots of experience and it gets me down when i have so little . I kissed another girl who i do like the other day but it wasnt properly it was just a peck on the lips. please give me advice on how i can improve our relationship. sorry for being a dull drag . It gets me so down and i dont know where to turn. sometimes i think of throwing it all in and becoming a hermit and living on my own and just reading history which is my interest but i wouldnt mind a girlfreind y'know.

I don't think you are behind. I hadn't really kissed anyone at all at your age. 16 is still quite young in my mind.

You're not that far behind. And why would it matter, anyway?

You're actually way ahead of where I was at that age (way ahead of where I am now actually). You're still young an have plenty of time to get into a relationship.

You're not behind. I knew many people with less experience than you in college. If you want to make the relationship work with this girl, though, be nice to her and let her know if you think she's pretty, intelligent, etc. If you want to build a serious relationship, be patient but let her know whatever your intentions are. When I was your age I had no idea what a guy wanted. If he just hung out with me, I thought that's all he wanted to do - I was easily surprised by kissing and affection. The boys had to be very straight forward with me. Girls don't always know why a boy pays them attention.

I'm 22 and I've only kissed a girl once (and even then it was a short peck)... you're a far cry from "behind"...

Yeah, sorry AphexSam, but your post actually is a little bit absurd, given the context of much of the population here. See, most of us are, socially, late bloomers. Your benchmarks generally beat ours by quite a bit. So it's sorta like complaining about having a dorky looking car to people who have to ride the bus.
To wit, when I was your age, I'd kissed zero girls. Although I'm glad to say that does not accurately describe my fortunes now.

As for your comment about your friends in long-term relationships... Just to give you a little bit of perspective, that's not common to have an actual long-term relationship in high school. Pretty few people stay with their high-school gf/bf once graduation and college rolls around. To be quite blunt, relationships at your age are very temporary, and more like practice. It gets a lot more 'real' when you get out into independent living. Dating in your life now is nothing like dating you'll see in 5 years.

So, in closing, don't sweat it. You're fine. Even if you don't feel attachment to any girls around you, it's not that big a deal.
Just keep it in mind for later, because down the road, once you get into 20's, that's when it's going to matter, that's when things get serious.

Oh okay thanks guys . I'll definitely try and be nice to her and show she is wanted. I am sorry if my post seemed absurb. I just got so wrapped up in being an AS in an NT world that i thought i was behind. I forgot that not everyone revolves ariound and is similiar to my NT peers. Sorry for being such a idiot and thanks for the advice .

That's not slow in the slightest. I was 20 when I first kissed someone.

As for taking things further with your current girl, treat it like an exploration. Take it slowly, so you go from a quick peck to a longer pressing of lips, then gently involve the tongue. It's all about her reaction - go as far as she is willing, but don't force it further.

Oh, and no onions/garlic. Obviously.