How do I meet girls/women outside of internet?

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TigerFire
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11 Apr 2006, 8:06 pm

I'm not good at meeting new people and I'm really not good at meeting new girls outside of the internet. I'm really afraid of meeting new meeting people but I will have to if I want to meet that one girl who would be the girl of my dreams. Since I never have really trusted online dating with all the scares my parents put into me about meeting people on the net. So where do I need to meet new people at? Where do I need to go? I don't have a car or a license to go anywhere so I have to rely on my parents to drive me to place which they are more and willing to go. I hope this isn't the wrong forum to post this thread in. Does anyone have any tips on introductions and the like?


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alex
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11 Apr 2006, 9:21 pm

Join clubs.

Find groups you're interested in on http://Meetup.com and go to them or find ones at your school. You can also start clubs.


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jman
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11 Apr 2006, 9:35 pm

Quote:
I don't have a car or a license



I'd reccomend getting atleast one of the two forementioned items before trying to get a girl. Trust me man it will make it alot easier. :mrgreen:



TigerFire
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11 Apr 2006, 9:53 pm

alex wrote:
Join clubs.

Find groups you're interested in on http://Meetup.com and go to them or find ones at your school. You can also start clubs.


Ah you've actually have replied to my thread. Wow I'm so excited, not really. You've got someone wanting to know about the things you do. I'm not telling who its someone here. Oops I've let my mouth open and this has come out. By the way why haven't you answered any of my pms to you? Been busy?

Thanks for the help. Any other tips?


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TigerFire
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11 Apr 2006, 10:06 pm

Oh by the way I'm 19 and I've graduated High School last year and I'm not currently in any College. I'm stuck living in my parents house until I get the money to move out. I now have SSI if anyone wants to congradulate me.


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jman
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11 Apr 2006, 10:41 pm

Well atleast you graduated High School. :star:



Space
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12 Apr 2006, 3:31 am

weddings, funerals, school, work, church, bars, grocery stores, clubs, volunteer groups, the gym... etc.



TigerFire
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12 Apr 2006, 10:28 am

Space wrote:
weddings, funerals, school, work, church, bars, grocery stores, clubs, volunteer groups, the gym... etc.


I've been to many funerals in my life. First one was a funearl for my grandmother who died in early 2000, and the next one was my great grandmother who died at the old age of 94 in 2003. There's been a lot of deaths in my family and I don't think I want to go to a funeral right about now. Besides I wouldn't know what to say to those who are griveing. Weddings? Hmm...Since I really don't want to me in a large building with a crowd of people I have no idea who they are I would be scared to death in trying to talk to someone, much less a girl. I don't want any girl to know that I freak out at weddings. I haven't went to one yet but I fear that'll happen. Church events I comfortable with those but since all the girls at my church are either older really older than I am or the ones that are my age are already hitched with someone else. The girls that are still in High School my parents and the people I've let close to me tell me that they're to young for me and plus I'm 19 and they're not adults yet. Bars? Nope I'll stay clear from any bar. Grocery Stores, I more likely to get what I have to get or find and look alone and keep to my self but there has been a lot of good looking girls at Walmart that I've seen. Volunteer groups like what? The gym? I don't belong to any gym and I don't see my self working out because my ritual of things I do daily hasn't included exercise. Would the libarary be a good place to meet girls?


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Keeno
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12 Apr 2006, 12:40 pm

TigerFire wrote:
Space wrote:
weddings, funerals, school, work, church, bars, grocery stores, clubs, volunteer groups, the gym... etc.


I've been to many funerals in my life. First one was a funearl for my grandmother who died in early 2000, and the next one was my great grandmother who died at the old age of 94 in 2003. There's been a lot of deaths in my family and I don't think I want to go to a funeral right about now. Besides I wouldn't know what to say to those who are griveing. Weddings? Hmm...Since I really don't want to me in a large building with a crowd of people I have no idea who they are I would be scared to death in trying to talk to someone, much less a girl. I don't want any girl to know that I freak out at weddings. I haven't went to one yet but I fear that'll happen. Church events I comfortable with those but since all the girls at my church are either older really older than I am or the ones that are my age are already hitched with someone else. The girls that are still in High School my parents and the people I've let close to me tell me that they're to young for me and plus I'm 19 and they're not adults yet. Bars? Nope I'll stay clear from any bar. Grocery Stores, I more likely to get what I have to get or find and look alone and keep to my self but there has been a lot of good looking girls at Walmart that I've seen. Volunteer groups like what? The gym? I don't belong to any gym and I don't see my self working out because my ritual of things I do daily hasn't included exercise. Would the libarary be a good place to meet girls?


I have a similar problem at church. Most of the women are taken, there aren't that many single women, and those there are I'm not really attracted to, neither has there been that 'spark' between me and them. Shame, because it's really where I SHOULD be finding a partner.

I can see why the library could be a good place to look. As an Aspie you'll have expert knowledge of certain subject areas, there'll obviously be books about them and you can wow women with your knowledge and they'll be impressed. Us Aspies have a capacity to amaze and interest people like that, which helps a lot.

Above all you need to have a place where you go regularly i.e. when you were younger you had high school, and that was a good base for people to see each other regularly and meet each other. In the absence of that base, you need another base. Church is obviously a good potential base, although for both me and you it's been limited. But I also can't emphasise grocery stores enough. Everyone, especially single people, HAS to go to grocery stores and supermarkets on a regular basis.

About a year ago I was in the same position as you, as to wondering exactly how to meet girls. Then I found that regular visits to the supermarket slowly, surely and gradually paid off. When you go to Walmart, look about you. Open your eyes and ears. Make eye contact - if you get favourable eye contact back then smile - if you get a smile say Hi and start a chat (maybe ladies will even start chats with you).

I have a question for you - do female staff at Walmart start chats with you when they serve you? If so that'll help a great deal, it helped me and I've made a number of friends there because of that. Also see if they flirt with you in any way. You might be surprised how many do, if you look for it, make eye contact and smile.



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12 Apr 2006, 12:58 pm

TigerFire wrote:
So where do I need to meet new people at? Where do I need to go? I don't have a car or a license to go anywhere so I have to rely on my parents to drive me to place which they are more and willing to go. I hope this isn't the wrong forum to post this thread in. Does anyone have any tips on introductions and the like?


Scared of trying dating agencies, at least you have your priorities strait. My biggest fear is dieing alone.

You live in America you need a car, that should be your priority; I live in London where parking is a b***h. I cannot even park on the sidewalk because there are too many cars then car parking spaces



TigerFire
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12 Apr 2006, 2:18 pm

Keeno wrote:
TigerFire wrote:
Space wrote:
weddings, funerals, school, work, church, bars, grocery stores, clubs, volunteer groups, the gym... etc.


I've been to many funerals in my life. First one was a funearl for my grandmother who died in early 2000, and the next one was my great grandmother who died at the old age of 94 in 2003. There's been a lot of deaths in my family and I don't think I want to go to a funeral right about now. Besides I wouldn't know what to say to those who are griveing. Weddings? Hmm...Since I really don't want to me in a large building with a crowd of people I have no idea who they are I would be scared to death in trying to talk to someone, much less a girl. I don't want any girl to know that I freak out at weddings. I haven't went to one yet but I fear that'll happen. Church events I comfortable with those but since all the girls at my church are either older really older than I am or the ones that are my age are already hitched with someone else. The girls that are still in High School my parents and the people I've let close to me tell me that they're to young for me and plus I'm 19 and they're not adults yet. Bars? Nope I'll stay clear from any bar. Grocery Stores, I more likely to get what I have to get or find and look alone and keep to my self but there has been a lot of good looking girls at Walmart that I've seen. Volunteer groups like what? The gym? I don't belong to any gym and I don't see my self working out because my ritual of things I do daily hasn't included exercise. Would the libarary be a good place to meet girls?


I have a similar problem at church. Most of the women are taken, there aren't that many single women, and those there are I'm not really attracted to, neither has there been that 'spark' between me and them. Shame, because it's really where I SHOULD be finding a partner.

I can see why the library could be a good place to look. As an Aspie you'll have expert knowledge of certain subject areas, there'll obviously be books about them and you can wow women with your knowledge and they'll be impressed. Us Aspies have a capacity to amaze and interest people like that, which helps a lot.

Above all you need to have a place where you go regularly i.e. when you were younger you had high school, and that was a good base for people to see each other regularly and meet each other. In the absence of that base, you need another base. Church is obviously a good potential base, although for both me and you it's been limited. But I also can't emphasise grocery stores enough. Everyone, especially single people, HAS to go to grocery stores and supermarkets on a regular basis.

About a year ago I was in the same position as you, as to wondering exactly how to meet girls. Then I found that regular visits to the supermarket slowly, surely and gradually paid off. When you go to Walmart, look about you. Open your eyes and ears. Make eye contact - if you get favourable eye contact back then smile - if you get a smile say Hi and start a chat (maybe ladies will even start chats with you).

I have a question for you - do female staff at Walmart start chats with you when they serve you? If so that'll help a great deal, it helped me and I've made a number of friends there because of that. Also see if they flirt with you in any way. You might be surprised how many do, if you look for it, make eye contact and smile.


Actually I don't at the moment belong to any Wal Mart but I've been to plenty to know which check out ladies are good looking and the ones that aren't. I meant about Wal Mart was that I shop there often there would be good looking girls but I wasn't at the time wanting to ask them out. I was more focused in looking at the electronics section. I'm always a little be afraid that if I asked them out they would turn me down because they already have someone else. How am I to tell when one has a boy friend and when one doesn't?


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Space
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12 Apr 2006, 3:26 pm

btw I was kinda joking about funerals :roll:



Keeno
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12 Apr 2006, 3:54 pm

TigerFire wrote:
How am I to tell when one has a boy friend and when one doesn't?


This is where you have to be observant, listen, and ask relevant questions. It might take time. Definitely don't rush into it though, hopefully you'll have the chance to get to know them over time, like you'd get to know anyone else. The best way to know is to get to know them. No way of telling otherwise, unless you see them with a guy who's clearly a boyfriend. Actually it's something I'm still trying to figure out myself. There's a girl at the supermarket who I know likes me, I know I have a chance with her, but she's unclear, possibly even defensive, about whether she has a boyfriend. She keeps talking about a "good friend", (and I remember last week she said he's "just a good friend"). I guess I will just have to come straight out, ask for clarification and ask if she is single. She won't admit it herself. I think she is challenging me.



baby
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12 Apr 2006, 3:56 pm

try hobbies and stuff, it gives you something to talk to girls about, also if you start off in a club you'll get to know each other and that gives you a starting point



TigerFire
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12 Apr 2006, 8:39 pm

baby wrote:
try hobbies and stuff, it gives you something to talk to girls about, also if you start off in a club you'll get to know each other and that gives you a starting point


Sure clubs? Do I look like one that has ever been in a club? Actually no I haven't been in a single club and I don't know what one does in a club. Do you think I'll go in a club alone by my self among total strangers in a crowd of people? No I think not! How about more open spaces? I'm a little you know what of closed in spaces.


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Space
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12 Apr 2006, 11:03 pm

TigerFire wrote:
baby wrote:
try hobbies and stuff, it gives you something to talk to girls about, also if you start off in a club you'll get to know each other and that gives you a starting point


Sure clubs? Do I look like one that has ever been in a club? Actually no I haven't been in a single club and I don't know what one does in a club. Do you think I'll go in a club alone by my self among total strangers in a crowd of people? No I think not! How about more open spaces? I'm a little you know what of closed in spaces.

how are we supposed to decide if you look like someone who has ever been in a club if you don't provide your picture? Going to a club is usually something you do with friends, I don't think it would be that fun alone. If you don't like enclosed spaces, like clubs, then find something outside. BTW, you might need to compromise a little if you are serious about meeting someone, this may mean moving a little outside of your comfort zone.