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did this mean what i thought it did?

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antique_toy
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26 Apr 2010, 11:40 pm

i had a date yesterday with a guy i have slowly gotten to know over the internet during the last month or so.
anyway, he knows i'm very shy, socially anxious, and an aspie. i wasn't even sure if he was even remotely interested in me before the date but when we were together in person he was very polite, respectful, and (appeared) to like me. we had a great time... well i did at least.
we saw a movie and the whole time we were whispering funny comments about things we observed in it to each other. he kept mirroring my body movements... if i crossed my legs, he would. if i played with my hair, he'd rub his face or touch his hair.
i am almost curious if he was doing this *on purpose* as in consciously, not subconsciously. mirroring is a subconscious act. i think he was doing it to make me feel comfortable around him since i have an obvious inferiority complex and terrible anxiety. what do you guys think? would he purposefully imitate "flirtatious" body language on this level?
also, i noticed he was rubbing his fingers together and fidgeting his hands a lot... he would also kind of rub his knees with them. does this mean on a subconscious level he wants to have his hands held and be stroked? hahaha.... i am such an oblivious date-er.



ToadOfSteel
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26 Apr 2010, 11:43 pm

antique_toy wrote:
i had a date yesterday with a guy i have slowly gotten to know over the internet during the last month or so.
anyway, he knows i'm very shy, socially anxious and an aspie. i wasn't even sure if he was even remotely interested in me before the date but when we were together in person he was very polite, respectful, and (appeared) to like me. we had a great time... well i did at least.
we saw a movie and the whole time we were whispering funny comments about things we observed in it to each other. he kept mirroring my body movements... if i crossed my legs, he would. if i played with my hair, he'd rub his face or touch his hair.
i am almost curious if he was doing this *on purpose* as in consciously, not subconsciously. mirroring is a subconscious act. i think he was doing it to make me feel comfortable around him since i have an obvious inferiority complex and terrible anxiety. what do you guys think? would he purposefully imitate "flirtatious" body language on this level?
also, i noticed he was rubbing his fingers together and fidgeting his hands a lot... he would also kind of rub his knees with them. does this mean on a subconscious level he wants to have his hands held and be stroked? hahaha.... i am such an oblivious date-er.


Yeah I'd say he digs you... Next time if he does especially that rubbing his knees, just try grabbing hold of his hand and see what he does. At the very worst, it would produce an awkward situation. But I dont think he's going to reject you at this point :wink:



Bugzee
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26 Apr 2010, 11:46 pm

antique_toy wrote:
i had a date yesterday with a guy i have slowly gotten to know over the internet during the last month or so.
anyway, he knows i'm very shy, socially anxious, and an aspie. i wasn't even sure if he was even remotely interested in me before the date but when we were together in person he was very polite, respectful, and (appeared) to like me. we had a great time... well i did at least.
we saw a movie and the whole time we were whispering funny comments about things we observed in it to each other. he kept mirroring my body movements... if i crossed my legs, he would. if i played with my hair, he'd rub his face or touch his hair.
i am almost curious if he was doing this *on purpose* as in consciously, not subconsciously. mirroring is a subconscious act. i think he was doing it to make me feel comfortable around him since i have an obvious inferiority complex and terrible anxiety. what do you guys think? would he purposefully imitate "flirtatious" body language on this level?
also, i noticed he was rubbing his fingers together and fidgeting his hands a lot... he would also kind of rub his knees with them. does this mean on a subconscious level he wants to have his hands held and be stroked? hahaha.... i am such an oblivious date-er.


I was watching a documentary once that stated if a person mirrors the physical actions of there date, that is a subconcious indicator that that person is definitely interested in their date. I would take that as a sign that there will be more dates ahead for both of you.



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27 Apr 2010, 12:05 am

antique_toy wrote:
i am almost curious if he was doing this *on purpose* as in consciously, not subconsciously. mirroring is a subconscious act. i think he was doing it to make me feel comfortable around him since i have an obvious inferiority complex and terrible anxiety. what do you guys think? would he purposefully imitate "flirtatious" body language on this level?
also, i noticed he was rubbing his fingers together and fidgeting his hands a lot... he would also kind of rub his knees with them. does this mean on a subconscious level he wants to have his hands held and be stroked? hahaha.... i am such an oblivious date-er.


I doubt he was mirroring your body language consciously. Not trying to say he doesn't like you, just saying that he probably didn't make a conscious choice to mirror your body language.

Again, no to wanting to have his hands held. It's more likely that he might just be nervous, fidgety, a bit OCD, or even stimming. I would actually advise against initiating overt physical contact like holding hands. Since he knows you're shy, he'd probably be quite surprised if you "make a move." Look, it seems like you're off to a good start - just relax. Let the relationship develop at it's own pace, okay?


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antique_toy
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27 Apr 2010, 12:58 am

HopeGrows wrote:
antique_toy wrote:
i am almost curious if he was doing this *on purpose* as in consciously, not subconsciously. mirroring is a subconscious act. i think he was doing it to make me feel comfortable around him since i have an obvious inferiority complex and terrible anxiety. what do you guys think? would he purposefully imitate "flirtatious" body language on this level?
also, i noticed he was rubbing his fingers together and fidgeting his hands a lot... he would also kind of rub his knees with them. does this mean on a subconscious level he wants to have his hands held and be stroked? hahaha.... i am such an oblivious date-er.


I doubt he was mirroring your body language consciously. Not trying to say he doesn't like you, just saying that he probably didn't make a conscious choice to mirror your body language.

Again, no to wanting to have his hands held. It's more likely that he might just be nervous, fidgety, a bit OCD, or even stimming. I would actually advise against initiating overt physical contact like holding hands. Since he knows you're shy, he'd probably be quite surprised if you "make a move." Look, it seems like you're off to a good start - just relax. Let the relationship develop at it's own pace, okay?

well i mean, i don't literally mean 'he wants me to hold his hand' but i read that such movements are indicative that the person is interested and they are touching their hands because they are thinking about touching yours or having theirs touched. its just at the back of their mind. i know not to just grab his hand because i see him doing this; i am just curious.



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27 Apr 2010, 3:58 am

I think it means he likes you and he was nervous.