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Felgen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 20 Dec 2009
Age: 36
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29 Apr 2010, 12:14 pm

I've been dating a girl for the past 3 months. She seems to really like me, and doesn't seem to care about my social skills (or lack thereof). The problem here is that it's not mutual; I don't have the same feelings for her. I've never dated anyone for this long before and I'm under a lot of pressure from both my parents and her parents. I've already met her parents and now my parents want to meet her.

This girl has been taken advantage of by other boys before, which is why I haven't slept with her yet. I do not want to seem like some as*hole who takes advantage of girls and then dumps them. How do I tell her that I'm not interested in a relationship with her without hurting her feelings?



Lene
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29 Apr 2010, 12:56 pm

After 3 months it's a bit too late for that.

You will hurt her, but at least you were decent enough not to sleep with her. Once she gets over the upset, at least she can hold her head up high and say "well, at least I never slept with him". It will be a bit of cold comfort.

Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her that you didn't want to sleep with her because you knew you didn't fancy her. That will just humiliate her and make her feel even more like crap.

Don't waste your time telling her 'it's me not you' or anything like that; she will think it's her. You can say you're very busy and under stress, or just simply, that's she's a wonderful person but you don't think things are working out.

I would recommend avoiding her for a few months afterwards, to avoid confusing the hell out of her, and then try again and see if you can be friends (if that's what you want). Hopefully by then she may also have another boyfriend.



Felgen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 20 Dec 2009
Age: 36
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29 Apr 2010, 2:59 pm

Thank you. :)