Attraction or passing fancy?

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PlatedDrake
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26 Apr 2010, 5:13 pm

Hello, this is will be the first time i post something of this order . . . but, it seems there has been a young lady (guessing mid-20s at least) who has caught my eye. I know her name, and where she works, plus a general idea about her work schedule. The problem is that i will be working odd hours (5:30 am til 3:30 pm or later, Mon-Thurs with the random Friday), and that the only time i do see her is when she is working (dont want to be the one to distract her since i know the people she works for tend to get on the workers' cases when they talk to people about something other than merchandise). I think she's interested (random lingering smiles at each other, assuming im reading the nonverbal implications correctly), but at the same time i dont know if we'd have time to get to know one another given our schedules <sigh>. Help, tips, or words of encouragement (ps, i absolutely HATE messing up and HATE making a fool of myself).



therange
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26 Apr 2010, 5:33 pm

Someone has to it...you've fantasized her and overthought things already. Anything you do at this point will come off as unnatural and prescripted. Best to find another woman.



PlatedDrake
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26 Apr 2010, 6:25 pm

therange wrote:
Someone has to it...you've fantasized her and overthought things already. Anything you do at this point will come off as unnatural and prescripted. Best to find another woman.


Not sure how you mean . . . and chances are i"ll come off as unnatural regardless who has my fancy (which doesnt happen that often given my last date was in 2001).



bully_on_speed
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26 Apr 2010, 6:45 pm

ever try buying what she is selling? gives you alone time with her and she is still doing her job



PlatedDrake
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26 Apr 2010, 6:58 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
ever try buying what she is selling? gives you alone time with her and she is still doing her job


I've talked to her once in a while, attempting small talk as it where . . . and its pretty short i guess. Problem with the dept she works, it was my old job (she started working there some time after i had left) so she's a relatively new face (within a year speaking). Ive seen/talked to her in passing a few times prior, but for some reason Im getting this odd feeling that i should ask (and yes, its odd to me because its such a rare occurrence/gut feeling). Can't really talk about the merchandise since most of it hasnt changed in several years (Electronics type dept at a local retail store). As for dropping in, i may see her once or twice a month pending how often i need to buy other stuff.



bully_on_speed
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26 Apr 2010, 7:14 pm

you dont got to buy anything just ask about random stuff. hey the new dvd's are out what would you reccommend?

i really tore about which game to buy can you show me a few?

do you have the new cd by this guy?


you have 3 starters there movies music and games. one of them will spike her interest find out which and build off of that.

so youve always wanted to see avatar? why dont i come by we can watch it at your place



PlatedDrake
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26 Apr 2010, 7:32 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
why dont i come by we can watch it at your place


I thought the whole, "Do <activity> at your place?" on first asking was a bit of a dating taboo as it might give the wrong impression . . .



bully_on_speed
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26 Apr 2010, 8:06 pm

it all depends on whats going on. dinner at her place is a lot more suggestive than movie at your place. its little stuff with the movie that list your intentions. when you sit for instance, if you sit on a a couch with her that means you want to hook up. if she is on the couch and you are in a chair it means you want to be friends. if when you got to sit down she bolts to a 1 seat chair. it means she doesnt want anything to do with you



PlatedDrake
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27 Apr 2010, 6:27 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
it all depends on whats going on. dinner at her place is a lot more suggestive than movie at your place. its little stuff with the movie that list your intentions. when you sit for instance, if you sit on a a couch with her that means you want to hook up. if she is on the couch and you are in a chair it means you want to be friends. if when you got to sit down she bolts to a 1 seat chair. it means she doesnt want anything to do with you


Eesh . . . gotta love non-verbal stuff. I would likely be paying more attention to the movie than what she is/isn't doing . . .



musicboxforever
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28 Apr 2010, 4:38 am

Personally, being female, I don't think I would like the suggestion that a guy I don't know made about watching a movie at my place. Maybe you could move the conversation round to films that are on at the cinema and see if she wants to go to see a movie with you. It's in a more public place and less intimidating if you don't know a guy so well.



PlatedDrake
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28 Apr 2010, 5:05 pm

musicboxforever wrote:
Personally, being female, I don't think I would like the suggestion that a guy I don't know made about watching a movie at my place. Maybe you could move the conversation round to films that are on at the cinema and see if she wants to go to see a movie with you. It's in a more public place and less intimidating if you don't know a guy so well.


Probably sounds like one of the best ideas posted here thus far. Bear in mind, the last time i asked someone out was nearly 10 years ago . . . i asked, we went out (once or twice i think), but it wasnt evident until later that she was feigning interest. That barely lasted a month, not even long enough for bf/gf title . . . Id almost hate putting this much thought into it and it not work when i am able to try (meaning that I have two jobs atm, but one will be "concluded" for a few months, and i may not have to work it again afterwords . . . so im waiting until that one is done before i attempt so i would have time to spend). Is waiting for a better time a good idea?



musicboxforever
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29 Apr 2010, 7:33 am

Erm, I'd hate it to look like I actually know what I'm talking about. No guy I've ever asked out has said yes, but it would make sense to ask her to the cinema when you know that you have a day free. That way you can suggest a specific day, rather than just vaguely asking her if she wants to go. If you don't have time at the moment you can still pop into the shop every-so-often just pretend to look around so you can talk to her. Not everyday mind, that would be stalker-like, but anytime you can think of a good excuse or need to buy something go in and if you see her say hello. I can't give advice on small talk. I'm no good at that myself.



PlatedDrake
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29 Apr 2010, 6:17 pm

Oh, i do drop in the store about 2-4 times a month at most (pick up meds, looks for random stuff of interest, or other things i need to buy). I know about what and what not to do as far as that goes, thank goodness.