um, WTF? Why would this girl be interested in me?

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I mean this friend of a friend of mine has been acting very friendly to me lately, and we had a nice conversation earlier today and tonight we were talking online and she invited me to work on applications with her. I mean okay, I was working on my eye contact and stuff, but I wasn't expecting such a rapid change in fortune. I think the girl's really attractive and fun to be around, I was just shocked that this'd happen, since she's very social and personable so why would she be interested in an asocial guy like me And more than anything, I'm confused as to why she'd be so forward with me so quickly, when I was so sure that something would happen with the workaholic girl I knew, but then it never did.


Okay, maybe I'm being too quck to judge and this girl just honestly wants to be friends, but I got a really strong hunch about it

Congratulations!! !! !! ! This sounds very promising and I'm sure will give a lot of us some hope!

Another social connection of hers in unavailable and you are one sexy beast. Be receptive, caring, and intrigue her, done.

She is probably physically attracted to you and thinks you're a nice guy. Women also really like men that make them laugh.

Good job! Eye contact paid off

There's an old Zen proverb, "We pursue that which retreats from us." Maybe by being a strick friend you seemed of doubtful availability and became attractive (?)

Truth is, you'll never really know what she's thinking. But opportunities do come along, so don't be so surprised. Let it blossom without any help from your thoughts or your analysis. They don't affect anything but you. Just enjoy, hm?

She must have fallen for Your eyes. You must have been friendly enough so that is why she is interested in You. I would not worry to much just see were it goes in the end. You may never truly know until You give it a chance. Good Luck!! !

It seems that she likes you. I recommend one of the four options.

Option One: invite her for drinks at a quiet bar somewhere. Then you'll have an opportunity to talk to her, get to know her better, and build attraction for a possible relationship. But if you don't think you can hold a conversation a long time, this may not be the option for you.

Option Two: invite her to a place that has dancing, if you're comfortable doing it. This is more effective, since you'll be able to find out if she likes you from the way she dances with you. If she seems kind of stand-offish, then she simply likes you as a friend. If she presses against you or does anything like it, you've got it made; congratulations.

Option Three: invite her to go bowling, mini-golf, or pool (meaning billiards). This is similar to Option One, but the activity you're doing can fill up any awkward silences you two may have. Especially effective if you have trouble coming up with things to say.

Option Four: invite her to a movie. In this scenario, you don't have to talk at all, which is a bonus if you're not much of a talker. The method for finding out of she likes you is to try cuddling/snuggling with her. Start by putting your arm around her, but make it look natural (i.e. not the obvious "yawn and stretch"). If she does not resist or presses into you more, congratulations. If not, oh well, at least you know.

Best of luck.

Hmm, I'm not really sure what to think... Conversation went alright for about an hour or so, and then I slowly but surely crashed and burned, being more-or-less silent for about 15 minutes until our mutual friend happened to come by and things started to go well again. I dunno, I was pretty sure she'd be irked with me after that but she was quite friendly and seemed to be open to the idea of hanging out again... but if I were a betting man I'd say I"m more less stuck in the 'friend zone'.

I'm afraid that's true, but there is a solution. Next time you and that girl hang out, act like the first date never happened. Forget the fact that you crashed and burned; it never took place. However, use the Option Four, the movie. At a movie, you don't have to talk at all. But as I said in my previous post, you can do a "test" to see if she likes you for real or only as a friend. Good luck.

It wasn't a date really, we were just sorta hanging out. meh, I think I need to wait until I can read more about body language and stuff before I can make a real try at this. I wasn't expecting her to arrange a meet like that before so my original post was along the lines of "what's going on here?"

Can't your mutual friend do some subtle detective work for you and find out how exactly she feels?

I don't recommend it. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get out of the friend zone. So I recommend acting as quickly as you feel comfortable (to an extent) doing. Of course, if friendship is what you want with this girl, more power to you.

Also, it doesn't matter is something was a "real date" or not. The dividing boundaries between dating and hanging out are pretty blurry, even for NTs. So consider this as having gone on a date, and act accordingly. Good luck.

I disagree, I think that there's too much "performance pressure" in dating. I would hang out with her in groups of mutual friends until we were comfortable enough with each other to really know that we wanted to date and by then, a few minutes of awkward silence wouldn't be so disturbing. If you go out with someone when you don't know them fairly well and screw up, they usually write you off. But if they know you a little bit and still want to go out with you, the future is more positive.

I agree here. You do run the risk of being labeled a 'friend' and not 'date' material if you wait too long. An air of mystery can turn into 'she thinks you're boring' so get something going for yourself. Sounds like you are probably sending mixed signals too, which you want to avoid. The next time you hang out, try and arrange a definate 'moment'- either when you say goodbye, or like in the movie theatre with the arm, or whatever.

You need to show you are interested too! Otherwise she'll get confused, and then move on. Good luck!

Whoa whoa calm down abit fella

I think your looking too much into the situation and over analysing things. Take it easy, its making you rather anxious about it all. You are not going to blow it through silly little quirks in your behaviour you need to just simply be who you are and not go into any social situation with her expecting to come out of it with anything. Its a cliched phrase I know, but simply be yourself.