antique_toy wrote:
things that are making me sad:
-takes forever to reply to my text messages/emails
-doesn't complement me
-likes to make a point of letting me know how nervous and awkward i'm acting
-sometimes cancels our dates
-doesn't give me greeting/goodbye hugs
(basically he doesn't show a lot of warmth, eagerness or flirtation)
Is he the only one of you capable of giving a hug?
Sounds to me like he has AS, too.
Taking forever to respond to messages. I do that. Sometimes I'm composing my thoughts, sometimes I'm just a little jarred when a message comes in and I have to let my social anxiety subside a little before I can respond.
I suck at giving complements. I often
think things like: "Oh she looks nice today" and just don't ever externalize the thought by saying it out loud. Generally I kind of assume that if somebody looks nice, or is good at something, they already know, so my mentioning it may only sound like insincere flattery (that's often how complements from others feel to me - like they don't mean it, they're just buttering me up because they want something).
I dunno, maybe he likes you, but is just hesitant to commit to anything because he doesn't want to feel responsible for hurting your feelings if it doesn't pan out. Maybe he senses your impatience waiting for something to happen and interprets it as needy, because neediness almost always becomes jealousy and possessiveness, which turn to anger and...*
bleah*...who needs the drama?
I say if you want to know, take a risk. Dive in and do something. You'll find out fast where you stand, good or bad, but then at least you'll know. Don't waste time trying to 'talk it out' - all guys hate talking about relationships and if he does have a touch of the Autiz', he'll interpret questioning as interrogation and shut down. If you want to be hugged, don't stand around waiting for someone to read your mind - take a hug. It's only awkward for a little while.