Help Please......I'm screwing up my relationship

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Over the past month I have done nothing but continually screw up when it comes to my relationship. I would appreciate some advise because I really don't want to screw this up.
My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years. When we first got into our relationship I was unaware of my current diagnosis of Asperger's. The begging of our relationship was rocky to say the least and she encouraged me to seek help for the many emotional and some other issues I was dealing with. Taking her advise I got some help and I was diagnosed with Asperger's. After that I was getting the support and some medication that let my issues fade into the background so our relationship flourished. Unfortunately something has changed again and everything seems to be reverting back to what it was like in the begging of our relationship, but this time I don't know what to do. Every day is such a struggle for me and it wares on her. I try to deal with my "issues" in my own time but it doesn't seem to be enough anymore. I loose control so easily now and can't seem to calm myself when I do and it scares her. I don't know what's going on thus I can't fix it and I think she is getting to the point where she is debating on leaving me or not. Please help me because I know she is the love of my life!

go to your doctor and ask them to adjust your medication or try a different one. perhaps your feeling worse as you have started having depression? Aspies often have difficulty recognising their feelings and often only notice that they have depression when their relationships or work starts deteriorating.

I find it helpful to write what Im experienceing down in a journal, this helps me get my feelings out and clarify my goals. I find if Im very stressed and things are going wrong it means I have to change some things. Try thinking about what you can get rid of in your life to make you feel better, and think about what you can add in which will make you feel better.

Do all the usual good things such as eating healthily, exercising and cutting out sugar, alcohol and caffine and get enough sleep.

I have talked to my doctor and I am already on meds for "depression", well technically it's for Bipolar disorder which is something I have dealt with from a young age. My doctor says I need to start taking care of myself better as you said, but I feel I do that. My girlfriend is really good about keeping me on a well balanced diet and we exercise together often as well as I go for longboard rides usually once a day now that the weather is nice. I feel as though I am doing everything by the books but still I get so overwhelmed I just lash out. Ugh it's so frustrating
Maybe I will try the journal idea thank you.

ask your doctor to alter your meds as they are not working well enough, perhaps he can give you a higher doseor try a newer drug, there have been some recent ones which are more effective.

It sounds like your stressed though, think about what particular thing makes you lash out. maybe its spending too much time together or when your suprised or interupted or too many transitions. Maybe you need more 'chill out' time, or need to make some ground rules about people phoneing or visiting (if you dont like those things, I hate them).

Anyway try and think what sets off the troubles and think of solutions for them. For example I get family to warn me by text before they arrive so Im not supprised and to email me insted of phoneing as I dislike the phone, that has really helped me to not get over whelmed so easy.

This might not be a valid question, but I'll raise the point.

Are you getting enough "alone" time to destress?

One thing I have been trying to do for the last couple of months is that if I know I am on edge about something, I will do what I can to be alone for a while. If I try to just suck it up and continue about my day, I am more likely to melt down. If I had plans with a friend, and if they aren't huge plans, I might ask her if I could be over an hour later, or reschedule to another day, for example. If they are huge plans, then I try to find a quiet, preferably dark place (like a bathroom with the lights out), to close my eyes, take deep breaths, and count to 10 with each breath.

If the irritation is a sensory issue, then I try to see if I can do something to help improve the situation. If it's a smell or sound, can I get away with it some how? And if not, then is it worth me risking a meltdown to continue to endure the smell?

Have you noticed a certain time of day that may be more triggering for you? For example, on Fridays I'd rather spend some quiet time alone to destress after a hard week of work, but Saturdays are better days to hang out with people.

I can pretty often sense that frustrated feeling coming on... when I know that the next thing, no matter how little, is going to spark a meltdown. You might be able to, too. Maybe you could say to her, "Would you mind if I spent an hour/the afternoon alone? It has nothing to do with you or my love for you, but I want to destress for a little bit." Then you could do whatever you find soothing, whether it's physical exercise, listening to classical music and deep breathing, or doing something that requires a lot of concentration like a mind game.

First of all thank you to both lotusblossom and Athenacapella for your advise I will try doing some of things that you suggested. It does seem that it is often in the afternoons that I tend to freak out for various issues. I think that getting some time alone to maybe journal, do something I enjoy, and or find a way to relax. I hope that my girl will be able to understand this, especially if I explain that it will help me chill out and hopefully help some of the stress in our relationship.

find an article that explains that asperger people need more alone time . so she knows it is nothing personal just part of your disorder.

I have been in a relationship with a NT guy for a long time now. he understands my issues and works with me on them. relationships are about give and take. if this person is taking and not willing to give a little for your issues then you deserve better.

I hope it works out for you!

you may have sensory integration disorder. i know that's why i need more alone time. read up on that and see if that is you.

o.l.b. judging by the f2m status your on some sort of atificial testoterone? try lowering the dose or finding a construstive/destructive way to work that aggression.

Thank you I will do that, I think it will help her to see it on paper not just me saying it. I will also look into the sensory integration disorder. Much appreciated just-me!

Hey good idea, I hadn't really thought about talking to my doctor about that. Thank you bully_on_speed!

Your welcome! I'm glad I could help.