Basperger wrote:
My girlfriend and I broke up last month, after a 6-month relationship.
She still has feelings for me, that's not really a problem, but she told me that she is waiting for me untill I'm ready for a relationship.
I don't want her to wait for me, I've told her that, but she still is.
How do I get my ex-girlfriend to live her own life without me on her mind?
I'm kind of wondering why your ex thinks the problem is that you're not "ready for a relationship?" Is that what you told her when you broke up with her?
Look, if you fibbed a bit about your reasons for the break-up (in order to spare her feelings), now is the time to come clean. Take responsibility for the lie (expect her to be angry), and tell her that you broke up because you two are just not a match (or whatever the real reason is).
If you didn't fib, and she's created your "lack of readiness" for a relationship as the reason for the break-up, then I suggest you tell her that you two need to cut off contact completely for a while. The problem with remaining "friends" after a break-up is that it's very, very difficult to do. If the person who initiated the break-up suggests it, it's usually just an attempt to soften the blow of the break-up. If the person who did not initiate the break-up suggests it, it's usually an attempt to keep the relationship alive in the hopes that the romance will return.
Even if both exes are well intended, maintaining a friendship through a break-up is less than ideal, IMO, because it makes healing extremely difficult. There is usually anger, despair, sadness, etc. to deal with, and it's difficult to deal with those feelings as you try to remain cordial, friendly, kind, etc. with your ex. I suggest telling her you two should spend the summer apart in order to heal, and re-connect in the fall (if you both want to when fall rolls around). Good luck.
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