Should I just not bother to even try with friendship anymore

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Hello I am a 14 year old girl with Asperger's Syndrome. I was diagnosed at age 9. I am very lonely and am at school by myself practically everyday. I either am listening to my music, wondering around or reading a book. I only have one friend whom I barely spend time with. But lately I feel she has been neglecting me. I have noticed her attitude towards her other few friends is fairly different to that of me. What other qualities do they have that I don't possess? I resent the fact that she is with them much more and that they seem to be her bigger priority. Not at all fair! Where on earth do I go wrong? When was the last time she called me first so we could make plans? I have been feeling so separated from her. Here are some ways I differentiate from her other friends

Other friends:

Tends to have a more excitable smile when she greets them

Often goes out with them to places

They just naturally go and spend time together

Always have a planned activity with each other

Tends to be more concerned with their well fare

Always feels like talking to them

Calls them

Me:

Says hi with a small smile

Never ever calls

Never asks me if I would like to hang out with her or go out anywhere

Never sits with me. It's always those other friends

Ignores the fact I am lonely

On her Facebook where there is the section where she writes about herself, it says "I love this blah blah blah............not to mention my best friends Darci, Ayman, Kristel and Karli" It excludes me from the list! And she once said I was one of her best friends. The liar.

I today asked "Why have you been ignoring me completely?" "Look I can't just take care of you I have lots of others to take care of. I have other priorities. If you aren't one of them then tough s**t" That liar! She barely takes care of me and appears to be far more concerned with those other girls. What is going on? I feel I am under appreciated. I once wrote a song about how special she is since I am a musician. I don't think her other friends have. I once collapsed into these burst of angry and hurt tears because the jealousy was so overwhelming. This was in private of course.

You sound very like me. It's a frustrating business trying to make friends. You sound really interesting as well. I didn't manage to write a song at 14.

Are there any clubs at school you could join. I was in the Scrabble and Electronics club. I joined the Debating club but it was too much like hard work for a lunchtime for me. These were the kind of clubs where I met people with similar interests to me and we got on quite well.

Sounds like another version of myself at age 14 minus hanging out and talking to friends. Aspie awkwardness will decrease with age, because by then the others willl have matured enough to talk about serious stuff in depth. Yes, there was one person who went out all the way to ignore me even though a few of her friends were at least civil to me.

An Aspie girl's asset will be her individuality. Unlike their male counterparts the need to form true bonds is more likely to be stronger. Coupled with analytical skills, you will survive eventually. I did, and I didn't have the advantage of music to help me! So I had nothing in common with the rest.

Music is a good way to bond. Perhaps you could join a songwriters'/poetry forum? Alternately join the school band, because I notice that ECA's help to strengthen bonds. (Something I never did, as I didn't get voted into positions and didn't like it anyway). Another thing you might consider is that nerds/geeks can be more accepting/friendlier once they get to know you. Some of them may have good writing skills. Also they can discuss serious things the way an Aspie is confortable with .

If you need to discuss things/confide in someone feel free to PM me.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... c-moves-us
http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/ ... 2009-03-16

seems quite like my feelings about my friends.i used to get jealous that my one time best friends hanging out more with friends that came later on.they too said i will never forget you after we leave school.obviously most of them did.but i miss those moments and memories nothing special yet something to hold on to and say that i once had some nice times.
as we grow up we fall apart.but it is worth having something than nothing.i think you should hold on to your current friends and try to mingle with more people so you wont have stay alone in class.just enjoy the time and solitude is not all that bad.some people do actually enjoy that.and yes joining some club as said above is a good idea.
take care

I only had one friend in high-school & we lost touch years ago. I felt kind of the same way about things but looking back I think some of the issues wer that other people misunderstood me & I misunderstood em. We wer both taking things personally that probably wer not meant to be personal & I was also a little to dependent on him. Are you dependent on that one friend because you mite could try giving her some space for a bit & then try telling her how you feel about everything. Maybe you could do something for her to let her know you do care about her.

What, and get laughed at?

Do you have any idea what 14 year old NT girls are like?
She sounds like a b*tch, I would stop talking to her, and cut her off completely. What interests do you have?

Yuck. 14 year old NTs are venal, petty, mean-spirited, and nasty...and those are their good qualities!

You also have to remember that friendship is a two-way street. You can't always be the taker in a relationship.

One of the unfortunate truths we learn as pre-adolescents and adolescents is that friends aren't forever. Heck, even new friends that you make now, you might not share that much in common with 10 years later.

Accept that this friend is no longer the person for you, and that your friendship is now defunct. Like you, I too tended to be a loner. At the time, it was because I felt socially inadequate, but over time, I realized there was more to it -- I liked doing things on my own, had trust issues about relying on others (for exactly the kind of reasons you list), and when it was just me by myself, I could do what I wanted.

A healthy life for someone like us is somewhere in the middle -- save time for yourself, but also make efforts to make new friends, find new social groups, etc. There are organizations everywhere, and having a hobby or sport in common is a great way to make new friends.

The biggest mistake we make is thinking we have a limited pool of people to choose from as friends, and that we have to "make do" with the people we already know. There is a whole world full of people out there your age, with your interests -- go find them.

This person might or might not really be a friend.. but there is one thing you could try. You mention that her other friends and her go out and do things together a lot... perhaps you can suggest something to go and do together (just the two of you) that she likes? Try it a couple of times and see if it works out.

whilst this is going to sound like im trying to be malecious, to be blunt it sounds like she just felt sorry for you. im an AS boy so it might be a bit different for boys but in plain terms: this "freind" of yours sounds horrible, treating you as an inferior being that she must "look after". i may be generalising, but a lot of NT people are stuck up when they think someone is inferior to them. NT people p*** me off when they do stuff like this, especialy when i see it happen to others with AS.

i know that might be your only freind, but anyone who cuddles up to you and says "ok i'll be your freind" probably isnt

if im allowed to be honest with my advice then i suggest this; make it clear to her that you ARENT an inferior being, that you DONT, need someone to "look after you" just because you have AS. if after this she still treats you the same, screw her, people like that arent worth dirt.

even if you have a problem finding other freinds, you shouldnt waste your time on someone who doesnt enjoy your company.