Break ups

Post Reply New Topic

Anyone got any advice on how to get over someone who you loved significantly?
Any help is appreciated.

If the two of you don't stay friends, it's probably best to get rid of or avoid everything that reminds you of your former partner, then take some time off for yourself, and enjoy stuff while single before moving on to a new partner (if you want one).

Time. It just melts away over time.
Keep yourself busy with something else in the meantime.

Hang out with close friends, put a little more time into your hobbies, and just generally keep busy for a while whilst it melts away. It helps a little if you don't have too much time to think about it.

I'm sorry. You seemed really happy.

Time and Physical distance does the trick, its not easy, we've all been there, don't think you're not allowed to be upset or cry either. It helps a tiny bit to share your problems too.

Oh yes, definitely. Don't try to pretend you're not suffering for it all of the time either, but do try to avoid dwelling on it either. At some point, I had to realize that crying about my last break-up, however cathartic it may have been in the short term, was just not healthy anymore.....

Mostly, from my experience, I'd just suggest trying to forget if you can.

Unless you're staying friends. Then I'm not sure. For me that usually works a lot better than not staying friends, and I've yet to figure out why. I guess it just hits me even worse to lose a friend of the whole thing too....

Physical distance is what defeated our relationship. We were literally on opposite sides of the world, with no ability to move in together (that was the stage we were at). I couldn't go to him because I am in a 3 year university course and my father is terminally ill, and he couldn't come to me because he had no formal qualifications or work experience which would enable him to immigrate here. We had other minor issues as well, but they could have easily been worked out if we could have been together. Waiting those 3 years with some frequent visits were out of the question as each flight between our countries was 28 hours mininum and cost at least 1000 pounds.

I'm very sorry to hear that things didn't work out.

Oh gosh, inthehills, I think a break-up like this is even harder than splitting because you're just sick of each other. All the same feelings and good stuff are there, so your heart is fighting with your head, right? Practical hurdles suck big time. *hugs* Please do grieve when you feel the need. It helps.

Give yourself a little space first, but as long as its not dreadfully painful, keep in touch with him. Who knows, uni will be done before you know it, and at that time you may find neither of you have really moved on.

Breakups are very though & in a situation like this where things fell apart because of distance when you both wanted things to work is probably much more difficult to deal with. I don't want to be a downer here but I'm not quite sure it would be possible for me to get over a breakup like this if I was in that situation. I would be second-guessing the decision & I would keep wondering what if I had made the decision to move. I would also keep wondering what if circumstances change maybe we could be together. I guess what I'm saying is I would regret the decision to break-up. For me it would be much better not to remain friends because I cant cross a bridge that I've burned so I would be forced to accept that it's over if the person was completely out of my life. When it comes to coping strategies for a breakup I would do what my body/mind is telling me provided it's not dangerous like if I have the urge to pig-out on junk-food, I'd do it; If I want to cry, I'd cry; If I want to talk about it obsessively, I'd talk ect. Sometimes that stuff can help for a bit. I really wish I had some better advice here

I look around and find the hardest most technically challenging problem, then try and solve it. I've also been known to head off to the gym and take out my feelings on the weights. All of these are what psychiatrists call a 'displacement activity', something to take your mind off the problem at hand.

Then again, there's always chocolate

Vanilla_Slice