Boyfriend in withdrawal - are emails / txts stressful?

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My boyfriend used to tell me to leave him alone when he's in withdrawal, but recently he's told me that he feels very lonely during these times and prefers my company because then "at least he wouldn't be alone".

He had a shutdown yesterday. After a shutdown he usually goes through few days of withdrawal.
I didn't want him to feel alone, and wanted to make sure he knew that I could be with him if he wanted, so I texted him with the message "I'm here if you want me."
He hasn't replied, so I think this time he might want to be left alone.
I'm thinking of writing him an email - the isolation I feel in these times are brutal, and putting my feelings down in words helps. (Writing this forum post helps also :p)
I wouldn't try to make him see me or talk to me, but I figure writing an email might be ok because it would be easier to ignore if he needs to.

That said I'm willing to stop doing all these things if it makes his withdrawl more painful.

What are texts and emails like for you guys?
Are they in the background, like you can engage them if you want to? Or are they as stressful as other social contacts?

They can be, it depends on the content.

I think you're probably taking the right approach.

I'm sorta confused. When I see withdrawl I immediately think chemical. But, do you mean emotional withdrawl?

Depends on the individual.....I suspect that most of us wouldn't be fazed by a text or an email though.

I've often been stuck in the dilemma of whether or not to contact somebody or other, when I've suspected that they might want me to, but haven't been sure because I haven't wanted to make them feel invaded. These days I tend to "publish and be damned," as I think it's usually worth the risk of a bit of embarrassment just to make sure I've taken reasonable steps to make sure the other person doesn't need to feel lonely. I'd just do a quick text so they know you're thinking of them, without any questions (questions demand answers) or other pressure to particularly do anything. It's just to let them know you're there for them if they need you.

Emails and texts do cause me a bit of stress sometimes, if I'm busy I get in a panic about whether I'll let them down by forgetting to reply, but these days I usually manage to remind myself that it's OK to leave it for a while....I just mark the email as "unread" so I'll see it later, and I can always save a rudimentqry text reply to "drafts" so I won't lose it.

I'd try it if I were you. Just make it plain that you won't keep sending him stuff if he asks you not to.

Strange to see a woman having the same trouble that so commonly affects men - my last partner would sometimes pretend to want to get away from me, in the hope that I would rubbish her requests and just follow her about anyway. But it's hard to imagine an Aspie man being so girlie as to do that.....when an Aspie man says he needs space, he probably means exactly that. Doesn't mean to say that a text message will give him a meltdown though.

Ok, that helps me understand a bit better. I tend to go through that alot too. I'm pretty sure it frusterates the heck out of my fiance. It frusterates me too because I know what it is and I feel guilty for feeling withdrawn. I know it's temporary, but it really distresses me to know that she is confused or hurt about my withdrawl, especially since it really is not her fault. It sucks that she has to deal with it. So, I end up feeling really bad about that, and it turns into more of an issue for me to deal with, internally, that the original withdrawl. Pretty horrible huh? It does help when she texts and lets me know she is thinking about me. I usually end up isolating myself at my apartment, when I am at home, and "recharging" my batteries. Usually I will end it with som sort of melt down then feel empty and stupid cause I no longer feel like that and have no idea what the big deal was that made me withdrawn in the first place. (I have no idea if this is striking a similar chord or not.) Funny thing is, is that usually all she has to do is come give me a hug or kiss, say something nice, and that pretty much pulls me out of that (usually.) Still have to recharge, but not with all that overwhelmed feeling.

i do this too but i dont really know what id like someone to do when it happens. i think the text you sent him was nice and from what he's said he probably wouldnt mind if you emailed him. just as long as its not asking lots of questions and the sort that would make him feel pressured to reply to, and probably get stressed out over. even if he doesnt reply it'd probably make him feel less alone

You guys are awesome!
It's so helpful to have people remind me what it's like from his perspective.
Thanks so much.

I would just say that it would be best to avoid anything that contains too much emotional subtext and anything that looks like it is an ultimatum or an "emotional rant." That would probably make the situation worse.

My girl(long distance relationship) suffers very regular psychotic episodes during which she cant communicate at all.

But I know that because of both her past and her psychotically induced paranoia she is petrified of losing my love. I know that fear is irrational, yet to her the pain is very real.

So I know that when she is silent, it is still imperative that I keep reassuring her by regularly sending her messages.

And all in all its better to be damned for something you do than for something you dont do anyway.
So if I were you I would not hesitate to send whatever you want.