Flirting

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Hi, I have a bit of a problem. I just can't grasp the concept of flirting. I have read the wikipedia article on this subject and it completely baffled my mind. I have never had a girlfriend. Although I'm not an aspie (I'm schizophrenic) I have trouble reading social cues. I miss them completely. I wonder if you could help me navigate this quagmire that is human attraction.

Im pretty much the same way (Ive gotten accused of being gay because of the fact I tend to ignore them completely. and I consider myself straight, and have nothing against homosexuals either).

I wouldnt be able to give any advice but I can say that I can relate to ya. Could also have to do with having a father that never bothered to teach me anything, so yeh :/

I'm in the same boat. I've been out to various places and have had women come up to me and ask me how tall I am (I'm 6'6" by the way). As comes naturally to me, I provide the requested information. Sometimes, the person will ask another question or say something that implies they're impressed. My friend(s) will witness this and ask me if I got her number and are shocked when I say no. They'll tell me she was flirting with me, but as far as I could tell, she just wanted to know how tall I am.

I've successfully used flirting by copying others without really knowing what I was doing. I decided I preferred stumbling into relationships instead.

Ive had issues with the fact that it is ones outside my age range. Ive had 15/16 year olds being somewhat flirty towards me, up to the whole awkward question stuff. Also had a few older than my acceptable range so whatever :/

I don't understand flirting at all either. I tried flirting a couple times when women wer doing it with me & I apparently freaked em out Flirting seems like a mind-game to me. I'm straight-forward & direct & wish others would be that way with me. I specially say that on my profiles on dating sites & women still try flirting with me I'd do better with a Vulcan woman

That's been a problem for me as well. I don't know if it's an Aspie thing or not, but it seems that whenever I get talking (not flirting) with a girl, she'll be in the 18 - 20 years old range. I just find them more interesting/fun to talk to. Once I find out their age, I usually stop because I'm 31 and just wouldn't be comfortable with that sort of thing.

Flirting is the one thing that I can actually do well when it comes to intimacy. I don't even notice myself doing it - a natural. When I stop doing it I get confused and wonder "what just happened?" I tried to remember the conversation, but couldn't do it; all I remember is the giggling flirty girl and people looking at me in amazement.

I think that's an issue for a lot of us, and I think it happens because we can be immature/inexperienced for our age.

Flirting is something I can do pretty well, apparently - I flirt with an older co-worker all the time, and she seems to enjoy it a great deal.

Unfortunately it seems I still haven't quite grasped the concept of somebody flirting with me because they've actually wanted to get something tangible in return, rather than simply flirting to break up the boredom of a working day. If I had, I'd have been in the relationship I've just entered into a LOT sooner...

I tend to avoid flirting because I'm afraid I'll do it to the wrong girl. Most of them have boyfriends anyways so it makes the situation more difficult to grasp.

Flirting...Does not come naturally. My friend said I do seem to stop, because I realise how stupid it makes you look, and don't engage. Or I am interested in the subject we are conversing about. I also answer their informational questions, and don't realise I'm supposed to "flirt", until after. :/ Why can't people be normal? After you guys share information for a while, it moves into personal, and the sentences get more "flavour" or whatever. Shouldn't it be like that?

Bataar wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:
Ive had issues with the fact that it is ones outside my age range. Ive had 15/16 year olds being somewhat flirty towards me, up to the whole awkward question stuff. Also had a few older than my acceptable range so whatever :/

That's been a problem for me as well. I don't know if it's an Aspie thing or not, but it seems that whenever I get talking (not flirting) with a girl, she'll be in the 18 - 20 years old range. I just find them more interesting/fun to talk to. Once I find out their age, I usually stop because I'm 31 and just wouldn't be comfortable with that sort of thing.

It' is I've had a run in with some guys here who are well into their late 30's and their still going to doof doof clubs. Since it used to be one of my obsessions for old times sake I went to doof doof club and felt like such a dill I'm to old and ugly for that sort of thing.

Also it's become rather uninteresting there's no invitation these days from progressive to hardcore, oh how I long for the golden era of dance music (1990's ) where everything was so new and fresh, where I stayed at home on a Saturday night listening to Crucial Cuts Australia #1 alternative dance music program for what ever reasons 4 ZZZ culled that program.

As I said before the whole concept seems pointless. This to and fro just doesn't work for me. Why can't it be easier?

I don't really know how to flirt using funny jokes, puns, or teasing. All I know how to do is read a woman's non-verbals. If she's giving come on signals and I like her, I push the interaction into something romantic as soon as I see them. You have to get rejected or mess up many times over to be able to pull this off as an aspie. The signals are so blatantly obvious once you see them a couple dozen times, though.

I still mess up, though. One time, I got a girl's number then madeout with her friend unknowingly because my natural instinct now whenever I get come on signals is to move. That whole house of girls probably hates me. Most recently, I seduced a gorgeous bipolar girl, got in a relationship, and have not been very happy about it.

I know guys who are good flirts and horrendous seducers. Women will flirt with anybody if they're amusing enough.

That sounds like me. And the very bad part about this is that the girl notices how good you are at flirting that she thinks you're good at everything else as well. She expects you to take it all the way, and then gets horribly confused when she sees you hit a brick wall. And then she hits a brick wall like this: