Judging myself , spoke to this ex-friend at the gym

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WeatherFreak
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07 Jun 2010, 7:23 am

I seem to be judging myself when talking to certain women , like i remember the conversation but then give myself personal crit if i said the right thing.. Did i say that right , should i have said something else , what if i put her off. Anyone else the same?

I was at the gym today and saw this girl that i previously asked out sometime ago at another gym and she said " I'm afraid i have a boyfriend , but if i wasn't going out with anyone i would've said yes " But after that happened i never saw her again and i thought i really f****d up :x . Anyway here's how it went today

ME : Oh hi i remember you from *** Gym , haven't seen you for awhile
HER : Hi *smile* , yes i left there.
ME : Have you been here long?
HER : No i just joined last week
ME/HER : * Conversation about the gym , how bad it was *
ME : I hope you don't mind me asking
HER : *funny look*
ME : Remember when i asked you out? , well after that you dissapeared. Hope i didn't put you off.
ME : *facepalm* oops i scared her off , what have i done now lol
HER : No ofcause not , you didn't do anything wrong.. I'm not that sort of person , i just left the gym as my membership ran out and i didn't like it anymore
ME : Oh you didn't like it? * i went on about how cold it was* ,
HER : I could never get on the equipment and those idiots
ME : idiots?! , the disabilied group *smile shocked look*
HER : Noooo *shock* laugh the blokes showing off.
ME : Hope you don't mind me saying this but , What's your name again?
HER : ****
ME : I did wonder if your name was **** or ****
ME : *smile* ahhh but can you remember my name?
HER : **** isn't it?
ME : Lol wow you remembered my name better than me
HER : I'm good with names *smile*
ME : Well it's nice to speak to you again , i better go now... see you again soon

Generally she was smilling throughout , no anger and she was either looking at me or at the tredmill readout.. But still i ask myself should i have done anything differently , what's the next step shall i talk to her everytime at the gym or just every now and then?. I don't want to push myself on her



nostromo
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07 Jun 2010, 7:35 am

I've read your post through and reckon you did fine. I used to massively over-analyse conversation with girls, I really didn't understand them at all, and I have no ASD. I reckon referring to the time you asked her out and also asking her if you scared her off was good because your being direct and above board.

If I were you I'd just smile at her and say hi every time, but only initiate conversation every so often, say every second or third encounter. If she likes you she might initiate conversation herself and by not talking to her every time allows her that opportunity.



WeatherFreak
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07 Jun 2010, 7:39 am

Thankyou nostromo :D

Relaxes lol



nostromo
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08 Jun 2010, 12:12 am

WeatherFreak wrote:
Thankyou nostromo :D

Relaxes lol

Good luck WF, and relaxing helps a lot too!



WeatherFreak
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09 Jun 2010, 7:46 am

Spoke to her again today , we laughed and she even said " You're looking good "

Can't believe i replied " you're looking good too , thought i'd say that incase i get told off "

i mean wtf :roll: , the things you say when you're abit nervous :lol:



nostromo
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09 Jun 2010, 4:47 pm

Whats the old story, compliment her on her hair or something like that.
The number of times I've been betrayed by my words coming out wrong, no doubt I'd think that but say 'I like your breasts'!



hale_bopp
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09 Jun 2010, 11:52 pm

You didn't do anything wrong.

Try to keep up the friendship but not force yourself on her. Say hello, have the odd small talk a few questions.



WeatherFreak
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10 Jun 2010, 8:32 am

hale_bopp wrote:
You didn't do anything wrong.

Try to keep up the friendship but not force yourself on her. Say hello, have the odd small talk a few questions.


Agreed , because i wouldn't like it if someone kept on coming up to me to talk everytime i was training.

8)