Non-sexual Attractions?

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I've had a few of these, and it's really hard to describe. I'll end up dreaming about someone, wanting to be near them, to talk to them, simply to have them close, but it won't be sexual.

It's not that I'm not interested in them in that way. It's just that when I'm daydreaming about them, it feels like it would be wrong to put them in a sexual position without the actual person's consent. I don't know if that makes sense.

It's just that sometimes the attractions take on a whole different level of respect, where I'm content to just be near them. I want to take things slow, and to see them regularly. Even more so, I don't want to push them into anything they're not ready for, and that ends up showing even in my daydreams.

^^Wooooowww, Pandoran-March! I believe I certainly feel very much the same also! I believe that I very rarely feel sexual type feelings towards an individual, however may certainly feel in a magical manner very similar to that you have described.

^^Thank you very much for writing your happy post.

3rded. I don't think sex has ever been the basis of any of my attractions. On a conscious level, that is.

I'm asexual. I only have sex because someone I care about wants it and I like to please people I care about. I could easily go the rest of my life never having sex again and wouldn't miss it one bit.

Wow. I can really relate to that. Especially when it comes to intellectual attraction and a moment of emotional understanding.

I can relate very much, especially the "not wanting to be sexual with someone even in daydreams without their consent" thing

sometimes it is a "not that way" type of liking for me, and I just think they're really cool and want to have a close friendship with them, at least one occasion on which it's happened resulted in the person being one of my best friend, which was nice

it does make it much worse if it happens with someone you do like in "that way", though

It's incredible that I could describe the exact same thing. However it was disturbing to me, and long term.

"It's not that I'm not interested in them in that way. It's just that when I'm daydreaming about them, it feels like it would be wrong to put them in a sexual position without the actual person's consent. I don't know if that makes sense."
Me too, even when I am physically attracted to someone. The most I will imagine is hugging them (or them hugging me), or playing with their hair, or something like that. Anything more seems somehow disrespectful, plus it would make me feel awkward around the person next time I saw them. I used to wonder if it meant I had weird attitudes about sex or something, but I don't think that's the case since it changes if I'm actually in a sexual relationship with the person. It's nice to see I'm not the only one.

I can see where you're coming from. One of the guys I'm attracted to now I don't have sexual thoughts about, because I fancy them in a kissing/hugging way and also because he's 15 and even though I do fancy younger guys sometimes I only have sexual daydreams for those 17 and older.

Yeah, I've felt that before. I don't have sexual fantasies that much anyway, but I know what you're describing.

For some reasons there are certain people I really like and would like to share my life with. But there are no sexual feelings involved. With others there are sexual feelings.

But could it be that those people you really like are to be considered really close friends-possibilties?

If often happens with someone I genuinely like, and want to be in a relationship with. It's not about simple friendship, or at least it doesn't seem to be.

It's like a different sort of romantic attraction, much more genuine on my part. It's different, and I really don't know how exactly to describe it.

I think this is actually very common, it's just that our culture is focused on sexuality to the exclusion of other types of loves. There is the current popular cultural concept of the 4 Greek types of love, but they are mainly applied to romantic relationships
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

In the 19th Century, very intense friendships were considered normal and acceptable between two people of the same gender. You had Boston marriages, two unmarried women living together for life and considered perfectly respectable. You can not really talk about these things nowadays because we are so uptight about sexual orientation, we need to box people in as straight or gay and get upset or deny that certain people exist who do not fit neatly into one category or the other.

I am a queer woman, and there is a double standard in this society where a straight woman can be playfully affectionate with me, but if I return that affection I am sexually threatening. In other words, intense fondness and nonsexual touching are considered acceptable only if there is no implication of lust on the lover's part. If our society was not so obsessed with sex and maintaining a divide between heterosexuality and all other kinds of sexuality, the anxiety over whether one's "motives" were pure or lust-driven would not exist and people could be free to talk about infatuation, whatever the genders involved.

Originally, Platonic love was about intense, intellectual fondness, and while eroticism was often involved, it was not considered the most important element.

I am the same. Sex has always seemed to me a very strange way of showing love for somebody. At times I daydream a lot about certain people. The most I would imagine doing is holding them in a very non-sexual but affectionate kind of way. If I love someone I want to feel them close to my face and to breathe in their natural smell; that may seem strange to some people. If I like someone, then my dream/desire is to be close to them emotionally and to be able to connect on a deeper, spiritual kind of level.

I can relate to this post. One of the rezones I say I'm a borderline asexual. I don't have sexual crushes

Some people use the word demisexual to describe people who don't have sexual crushes or fantasies but become sexually interested in someone *after* there is an established relationship and feelings of love between the two people.