Did he just say it to get rid of me easy?

Post Reply New Topic

I had this really close internet friend who has AS, who I'd talked to nearly every day for 2 and a half years. We were close, and loved each other.
We got in something, not a fight, but similar, that caused some stress in our friendship. And he said he was going to stop talking to me indefinitely, because it made him feel bad that he made me feel bad. He said something about "finding himself" or something. He said he loved me and I was probably the only person he properly cared about.
But anyways, we haven't talked for almost 2 months now. I still occasionally get very sad. And do miss him. But his friend (who's in real life. He's also my good internet friend, and still is) seems to believe that my friend doesn't really give a crap, and doesn't intend to really do something. And when asked about it, casually says "he'll talk to me at some point". And it's kind of seeming like, either he doesn't give a crap anymore, or he likes feeling missed or something.
Could he do it so he has control over our friendship, dictating when we will speak next? Does he not give a crap anymore? I know sometimes I can act like I am over someone, and hate them, when in fact I care about them deeply. He is not me though. So I don't know what to expect.
What do you think will happen?

There's no real way to tell. As you say, people can hide their feelings when they want to, so even the mutual friend may be fooled.

Either way, if he's not replying to your emails, forget him. He's either playing mind games or has moved on. It's probably best you do the same.

It may feel a bit mind-gamey yourself to pretend you're not interested back, but sometimes that's just what you have to do to retain your self respect.

This reminds me of someone I met 2 years ago. She use to claim I was her best friend, the only person who really understood her (as she had AS as well or so she says) and that she would never leave me unless I asked her to. She let me down on several occasions though she always had a very convincing explanation. She also promised I could work for her over the summer as well as being a lodger last year then a couple of weeks before I was due to move, I kept asking her what my job would consist of as she wasn't being specific and when I asked her not to take her mood out on me (she claimed to be hacked off due to people working for her not doing their jobs properly) she suddenly flipped out and cut off all contact, and I couldn't get hold of her. After doing some digging and finding out information from an unexpected source, I discovered she had been lying to me since the moment I had met her, and that she had dropped me as her best friend so she could start seeing someone and had offered him the job (though on a far smaller scale) that was apparently lined up for me. I had the last laugh though when I told him what she was really like and he dropped her on the spot (he's also now one of my two closest friends)

Anyway my point is, I wouldn't expect to hear anything from your so called friend, his actions sound pre-meditated and it wouldn't suprise me if he had an alterior motive for ditching you. Sorry for this sounding so blunt and harsh, but your better off without him.

I hate to tell you this, but I can go for weeks or months without seeing or talking to someone I care about. It has nothing to do with how I feel about them, it's just that I'm pretty bad about keeping up with communication.

"I'll talk to her at some point" is a strong indication he doesn't give a crap.

Try and meet other people, and realise how not worth it he is, and when he comes crawling back, snub him. Then we'll see who has the last laugh.

Heartbreak is hard to get over. Some internet guy broke my heart a few years ago and I cried for months that he didn't give a crap about me, its only now I realise what a waste of time and space he really was.

You WILL get to the stage where you don't care about him. It's hard at first, but you have to TRAIN yourself to expect not to hear from him. Hell, it happened to me again recently.

There will always be days where it hits you worse than others. This is where friends and chocolate and excersise come in

Main hing is train yourself. Go onto MSN or AIM, expect him not to be there, or not to say anything. Te day you can press "send recieve" on your email and not be downhearted or disappointed that there is no email, is the day you've trained yourself not to expect it.

It takes work, and i know what its like to suffer a HUGE disappointment.

It's good to know someone understands what I've been going through. It's harder in some ways, because no one believes an internet friendship can hurt someone any considerable amount.


Thanks for the advice, guys. I guess I just won't expect anything from him. We haven't been talking. I haven't been sending him anything (except for one thing, which I told him not to respond to) He's deleted from both of my facebook accounts, my MSN, and I deleted his phone number. I will go delete his email now.
I don't know what will happen if he decides to talk to me again. He's not going to find me excited. I'm past that point. He hasn't been my friend for a while. And wasn't there when I needed comfort. He can't just ditch me because it's easier for him, and then come back when it's easier for him.

I think a lot of people are in denial, but getting attached to an internet person is no different to getting attached to one in real life. These days the internet is real life for young people. Losing someone who made you happy is killing endorphins and creating depression regardless of where they are from and how you stay in contact.

Having been through heartbreak from both internet and real people, I can say that the feeling i sno weaker when it's an internet person. The RL one was harder for me, but the circumstances were a lot different too.



You've done well to get this far. It took me two years after my heart got broken to delete phone numbers, facebooks and emails. Once you make that step, you can fill the hole with positive people and possibly new interests. A good way to start, even if it's meaningless, is try and do something new, like participate in a new facebook group or add a new person, or even talk to old people on there that you haven't for a while. He needs to learn that life doesn't revolve around him and if he's not prepared to meet half way no-one is going to waste their time on him.

QFT

Thanks for the wisdom Hale Bopp.

What's QFT stand for?

Quote for truth.

Ahh ok, cool!