What is your opinion or take? Any advice?

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A brief history leading to my question: I have had my share of long term relationships. Both good and bad. Sadly to say I have been involved mostly in bad or unhelathy relationships but has been blessed with experiencing good. The bad ones that I have been involved with were unhealthy to the point that I was subject to emotional and physical abuse. I was able to get out of them safely through meticulous calculation. One thing that has made a hard situation easier though is the fact I do not have children to complicate things further.
While I understand that the other party has deep issues, I also place some blame on myself for allowing myself to get stuck in a bad situation in the first place, such as my inability to see the so-called "warning signs" of a potential abuser. They always seemed so nice in the beginning...but I guess that is the common trap and bit by bit the "signs" that may have always been there (that I didn't originally catch) really does not start to show until things are blatantly obvious, and by then it is more difficult to get away from the person since they don't simply let you go when you feel it needs to end.
-I am currently single, not actively persuing a relationship but won't pass up the opportunity should it arise, however, past experiences and lessons learned (and much research on what warning signs are) will hopefully steer me in the right direction. I deserve a healthy and rewarding relationship...trouble is, how to sift through the junk to find the gem ! !

-Question: Althougn I am fully aware many NTs end up in bad relationships too, do you think that there is a link between persons on the spectrum with difficulties in picking up certain social "things" that puts an added risk of potentially becoming involved in a bad or unhealthy relationship?
-Any extra tips or advice so I can break this cycle?

I read a great chapter in a book called "Aspergers and Girls" and it was all about how Aspies tend to be preyed upon because it's so obvious we're not sure who we are inside (and therefore, we automatically broadcast the "I'm a victim!!" signal). Also, I don't know about you, but I tend to look at people and automatically think they are good people (until they prove otherwise). I used to view this as a strength-to always see the good in people-but now I think it's a weakness. Since I always think someone is not trying to hurt me, I never see when they are just about to.

Yes NTs get into bad relationships, but I think we get into MORE of them because we have trouble reading others' true intentions. That's my opinion. My first marriage was terrible and abusive in every way you can think of. My second marriage is nothing like it, likely because my spouse is an engineer and tends to think a lot like me. I keep teasing him that I think he's an Aspie

I know perfectly well who I am inside.

I do not have problems maintaining relationships. I have problems starting them.

I've carried a lot of guilt from these types of relationships because I really cared (somehow) for these people... I get way to attached.

But I do know my choices (edit** to leave) were for the best and that I do deserve better.

GL!

Good topic! I have been involved in abusive relationships, and finally came to realize that there was something in myself that seemed to be attracting them. This was the first step towards taking responsibility for my part in those relationships. Not to say that I was to blame for them, but not knowing that I was on the spectrum put me in danger many, many times. I think you are on the right track!

I found this book very helpful in learning how to read the warning signs of a potential abuser:
http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/book.php
I had to order from the UK, but it was well worth it. It explains the signs, as well as giving background on why some men feel entitled to behave the way they do. Even better, it tells how to recognize the GOOD signs of a man worth considering. Best of all, it is a quick, easy read.