Esteban has discovered his Zia; or how I found her!

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Hi, I was just writting this in order to ask for some advise.

I know that I've put up a simler post up before (about another girl with whom nothing happened) but i'm going to anounse to you all that I think that I met someone that I like and whats more she even likes me, (as a friend.) She is by the way a friend of the other girl (the shy one) that I met and told you all about a few weeks ago

However she has a boyfriend.

I wouldn't normally ask this kind of thing as I know that it's very wrong.

Just wondering if this is my soulmate (as you never really know but the chanses are quite high on this one) and she stupedly turns me down (the same rule would appliy to me as well) after I confess my feelings for her (which I plan to do in the near future if I still have them that is!) Is it OK (as in will it work for I already know that it's wrong to do this, but sadly sometimes you have to play dirty, to get your hearts desire) To give her a guilt trip, or to slander her boyfriend in order to get her to hate him.

While I'm at it what are the best metforeds to use, as I'm sure that maybe, just maybe some of you out there may have made others feel sorry for you in order for them to date you, but afterwords they ave fallen in love with you.

Will a guilt trip even work on an Aspie as she happens to be one?

May I add that this is not the reason why I fel in love with her, but I do find her ways attractive!

Like me she's a little bit of a shut in (she enjoys staying at home a lot) but still likes to go out at times every week to go shopping and finds her job at a department store furfilling

If you don't mind I'll give you more info when you have sendt info

Goodbye till next time

No advice to give, but I love the Mysterious Cities of Gold reference.

I find your post a little difficult to understand, but I am going to reply to what I think you are asking.

I definitely wouldn't go guilt tripping people into loving me, even if it's possible to do such a thing. I also definitely wouldn't try to create a deliberate rift between her and any other person. That's just not cricket. If a rift occurs for some other reason, then that's something else.

I would perhaps consider telling her that I had strong feelings for her. That's just honest, and then she can do whatever she chooses to with that information. It possibly depends upon the strength of my feelings and the strength of her relationship with the other man whether I would do this or not.

I wish you happiness, whatever the outcome.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try and make use of it.

P.S.FireMinstrel did you know that I'ne set up a fourum devoted to The Myserious Cities of Gold called 'The Children of the Sun' and we'd be deligted to have you join us!

Gooodbye Till Next Time

If she has a boyfriend, don't try to break them up because that will end badly for all parties. If you really want to tell her how you feel, you can try, but it may end your friendship if the feelings are only one way.

Sorry just a moment of madness back there!

Thanks for the advice anyway

As it stands however I'll be seeing tomorrow night!

I'll be telling her my feelings, and I hope things go well (as they quite often do for me.)

Wish me luck guys and gals!!

If not then I MAY use the guilt triping tackics or I may not I'm just not too sure at the moment. Even so one could say that I'm only making her aware that (if she told me a flat "no" that is) that she has made me upset, as that as she like myself has AS I'm only making her aware of the fact that she has made me upset. This does not mean that I'd hold anything aginst her however but it's quite possible that we may be soulmates, and (pardon me saying this) that It's her moral duty to try and fall in love with her! (as it was mine o do so for her.)

I really hope I don't have to go and guilt trip her as I do care for her deeply. I know that may seem a little odd that I'd beprepaired to do that to her. But I plan to more than make it up to her afterwards.

Thanks for reading this.

Gooodbye till next time!

I strongly advise against slandering her boyfriend. That never ends well. Think about it logically--if he's her bf, we're assuming it's not against her will. So, since she chose him, you telling her that he's lousy is, in effect, berating her. The last thing you want to do is insult her.

Good luck tomorrow. I hope things go well for you!

No, don't guilt trip her. That's pretty darn stupid tbh. Would you want someone who guilt-tripped you into loving them?

Well tonights the Night!
Of course (if I did do it) I would not let her know that I was 'sladering' her boyfriend, she'd have been led to believe that it was true, also I would not mind (all that much) sharing her with him but if he did not agree to this then he's the one in the wrong as he'd have acted in a slefish manner.
Looking at it I may not even guilt trip her at all, (even if she said "no") as she may just like me as I am anyway!

What I'd like to know is, why can't I guilt trip her? (for reasons that I've already stated) as she may fall in love with me after she dated me (as she'd have been feeeling sorry for me.)

However lets hope that I don't have to do anything rash like that!

Fingers Crossed!

Goodbye Till Next Time!

Good news! (For me and her anyway)

She's asked me out on a date next week! And I did not have to guilt trip her at all.

What happened was that as we were at a disco (where we always meet up every week) I did a karioke and deadikated the song to her! On top of that I charmed her, and gave her a gift (namely, as I like to call it, friendship peadent I have one as well you see, sadly they do not open up any cities of gold!)

No guilt trip, or slander was neaded

So after talking to her mates I'm quite sure that if I play my cards right she'll hopefuly fall in love with me!

So, then (and I don't want to look like I'm a fool, but I'll ask you all anyway) do you have any tips for me on how to impress her, when we go in a date?

Goodbye, Till Next Time.

(Sorry if some of this seems a little vage but I can't go round giving out personal info about others)

Now for an update. As you may remember from last week, I have at long last 'won' her heart! (For want of a better term.)

But there are a few problems, now I don't want to seem selfish, but after she split up with her old boyfriend she was (understanduly) upset as he (or seems to be anyway) puting her under some pressure to get back up with him as he (it appears to anyway) has taken it badly, hence her being upset. This means she's not quite in the mood for dating at the moment, but I can live with that. However although she is not in any danger I am a little consurned about herin case he tries to harm her.

This is why I'm asking all you guys and gals about how to protect her (barring beating him up, of which I know full well how to do and without getting areseted.) or how best to advise her on how to keep away from him as he may try and get her back together with him! (It happens sometimes)

It may be nothing and just my imadgintion but I'd still like to comfort her anywa.y

Also I'd like to ask on how to best 'pace myself' when it comes to asking her out and what not. As I don't want to rush her and thus scare her away. Although I normally get although well with her I understand that as she's feeling a little emosionly senative things may be a little differnt.

What I was thinking was to give her a note asking her if she's ok.

Also I'm entering a talent show next week so wish me luck! (Maybe she'll be impressed by my doing it?)

Goodbye Till Next Time.