Terrified whenever a woman comes on to me!

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I am afflicted with a most hideous disease!

Sometimes when women start obviously flirting with me, (by this I mean so obvious that even a ret*d homosexualist like me can detect it,) I am filled with terror because I immediately start thinking she's teasing me and trying to get me to humiliate myself!

An example: when a girl is smiling from cheek to cheek and speaking is a teasing kind of way, you know what I mean, it's the way school girls talk to you if they 'fancy' you (but note, just because a woman fancies you doesn't mean she wants sex with you )

I can never bring myself to believe that a sexy woman would ever find ME sexy! I just have this instinctual panic - but the question is, is my paranoia a true reflection of women's real motivations towards me or is it just that, an intense homosexualist/ret*d paranoia caused by narcissism, neglect, and divers other evils?

Someone out their will find you sexy (someone finds almost everyone sexy at some point) . I personally can't tell when people find me attractive, so like you are describing I'm scared s***less when guys or girls say/do certain things to/around me (I've gotten attention from both genders). Only thing I can suggest is to relax & if you can't tell the girl's intentions, ask her if she needs help with something, respond appropriately to her response & leave. Another thing that can help is going places with other people (preferably an understanding (group of) friend(s)). If I could figure out how to determine how "sexy" I or someone else is I might be able to function around people semi-normally...

Good Luck

p.s. Why are you referring to yourself as a "ret*d homosexualist"?

It's painful ... sometimes she makes it so 'obvious' to me that she does practically everything but say 'I fancy you' but I am still thinking that it could all go wrong, since she just likes the way I look, and doesn't yet know that I have a strange personality and lifestyle.

Now, if we could just both agree to be honest, go out to eat, watch a movie, then maybe kiss and touch it would all be fine. It should be run like a business, like any formal transaction, with both parties clearly stating their objectives, expectations and demands.

And then, nobody gets frustrated, nobody gets confused, nobody gets disappointed, because the rules of the game were laid out for them at the very start.

And I love sexy girls, especially the warmth that comes off their body when I sit near them. And I love to play with their hair, and kiss them, and stroke their legs, and so on. I am a sex pervert

I believe that's called prostitution, Abe.


I am such a worthless clown!

I used to be completely terrified of this, too! I passed up so god damn many cute girls. Luckily now, I just let it happen and run these things to their conclusions.

Unless the woman is bigger and heavier than you, is a super strong roided up weightlifter, or is trained in martial arts...Don't be scared.

Maybe next time you see her you should just ask her why she is doing what she keeps doing. She might find it funny or be a jerk about it but if she is it'll be obvious you are not interested in her or that it won't work out. But if she seems okay than you may be able to proceed with a more comfortable situation.

Its not prostitution unless you pay her in some way.

Abe, are you actually homosexual? Your post did not make this clear. You call yourself a 'homosexualist' and then you claim you want to make out with a woman and have sex with her. Are you bi then?

The root of my problem is this - I behave in many ways like a little girl, but I am sexually attracted (powerfully) to women, and not men.

So you might say emotionally I am homosexual or feminine, but I just don't want to have sex with men. And women, as far as my own eye can see, do not generally find feminine traits in a man to be of much interest.

I wouldn't know what would happen, honestly, as that has never happened to me before (except as a joke or in obvious attempts to manipulate me)... If I had to guess I would probably freeze up, as I do in any unfamiliar situation. Not necessarily terrified, but at a complete loss as to what to do. Eventually if given enough time i can think it through, but otherwise i'm out of luck there...

I freeze up and behave like a mute idiot in 'real life'. I have had women fancy me based on 1) appearance and 2) things I've written but never on the basis of my 'charming' real life personality.

Yeah, @Abraham, I don't think your problem is what you think it is. Using completely offensive phrases like "ret*d homosexualist" indicates that you're an ignorant bigot. Still, I believe I have a solution to your problem: just mention how stupid you think condom use is and how you'll only go bareback. I don't think you'll have to worry about dealing with women after that.

Yeah, women will just think your a total *** and never bother you after you say that . As HopeGrows said, the phrase "ret*d homosexualist" is highly offensive. (I'm gonna be blunt now) Fact is if you say stuff like that to the wrong people you could get in a serious situation...

i got two friends who dont date because they fear that they will offend the girl by showing any interest in her or flirting. even when a girl kisses them and pushes herself against them touches them they think she does not like them and that responding to her will offend her. only a therapist, group therapy, and experience can remedy it, but there are effective treatments though.

Man, you are one hell of a bad ass! I wouldn't want to meet you (or encounter your razor-sharp wit) in real life!