How to respond to "you're a nice guy?"

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This is ironic despite every girl's wish for a nice guy...a fellow gamer suggested that it was "girls do in fact want a nice guy, but who is capable of having a naughty side." So the new question is what does one do when she says you're a nice guy, for pinning her to the floor and asking "who's the nice guy now," probably would freak her out more than anything.

No, she's not trying to disqualify you - most women at heart at least do mean it as a sincere compliment. If you really aren't appreciating it though I think the best way to put it down is just give her a warm smile with a little sarcastic flick to it and say thanks.

I'm often told that i am a "nice guy" by women. they usually say that then put their arm around their as*hole boyfriend and leave me to myself

I've heard many girls say that to me and I didn't take it negatively. At least I'm being noticed by them.

"f**k off"

That sounds good. Nah, I have no idea how I should respond. Maybe taking it as something negative, or trying to prove her wrong will help. I don't know.

"Let me take you to bed and I'll show you how nice I am."

"um... so.. could you give me a blowjob now? i have blue balls, it's been so long! oh and don't swallow, cos it's prolly not going to be all that fresh..."

LOL

This would really depend on what kind of girl she is but lets say if she's a girl who you know can take a joke, isn't fragile, etc.. Might sound a little foreward but if you have your body language right she'll probably think it was a pretty cool comeback.

her: "Your a really nice guy"

you: (with a confident dry smile like your winding up to make a smartass comment): "Nah, I'm just trying to get in your pants"


If she sees you as this really innocent Christopher Robin character she might be shocked for a second and think "Woah, that's not something ____ would usually say" but that just means you got her that much better and it'll be that much funnier when she realizes it. Only trouble is if she's real quick-witted she might fire something steamy back at you and try to make you blush, no idea what that would be so your on your own there. If she says your nice to everyone tell her your trying to get in their pants too.

That always bugs me too. I can never figure it out. Sure, you can be a decent person, be honest, try to work hard, and even be admired for it, but for most girls, that isn't enough.

I've gotten pretty used to rejection, but also I've figured out how to make myself happy most of the time without. The trouble always comes that whenever the circumstances arise that I do, surprisingly, have some shot at getting a girlfriend, I get so fired up with possibilities and fantasies that the ensuing rejection hurts me a lot and I get seriously depressed for at least a few days. I've got a groovy thing going without a girlfriend, but suddenly I feel worse even though the situation hasn't particularly changed much.

I've had some pretty close calls with success, though, and I've seen a few examples in my life of decent, kind, respectable men being able to bag one, so it doesn't bother me too much except in those moments just after a rejection.

Its just a nice way of her telling you off w/o making it sound like she's a jerk. Seriously, think about the phrase. What's a 'nice guy' to begin with? I know its being cruel, but when she says that to you, you should get the hint and go elsewhere.

Well, that's if your the one trying. I've had many girls getting hardcore flirtatious with me, going out of their way, I had a girl who reminded me a lot of Natasha from Waiting throw that at me out of the clear blue - lol, what the hell am I supposed to do when she's had a boyfriend who's been financially supporting her while she goes to school for 2 years and still is? As a guy who's been jaked in the past I could never morally justify that and at the same time I don't think she would have wanted me to (well, I'd like to think so at least) but she was telling me that I was a 'real man' unlike a lot the guys arround our work at the same time.......hmm.......

Speaking of nice guys, I hate it when a guy complains that he cannot get any dates because he is a nice guy and girls only date jerks. It is rubbish. Most of those guys who think they are nice are actually not so nice, but they do not realize it. The girls are not dating them because they are NOT nice, despite their opinion of themselves.

HBI has a big discussion of this issue. It is interested to read:
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/ ... s/ng.shtml

Well since you're probably referring directly to (among others) me, I'll chime in. Girls don't date only jerks, but jerks have something called confidence, and almost all girls want someone with confidence. And as I've indicated previously using a recent court case in Southern Ontario, some women don't care if the guy is a jerk, is in prison, and threatens to kill her on day one of the relationship (and don't tell me this doesn't happen, because it is a true story); as long as he has the golden requirement of confidence, he's in. Confidence is over-rated, by the way.

It is true that women, for the most part, don't want "nice guys", not withstanding whether I consider myself a nice guy or not. The case in Southern Ontario, plus another one in the same city in 2003, plus what two women said to me recently about me being "too innocent" shows that women don't want "nice guys".

Many women have a positive opinion of me. So what are they waiting for? Are they waiting for me to rob a corner store at gunpoint? Maybe I'd be a complete idiot for doing that as I would be going to jail, but it shows that I have confidence, and women get their jollies from being around confident guys, regardless of their level of respect for others. In a region where women have loads of single men to choose from, who will they choose? The guy in prison for rape, or the nice guy down the street that sent her flowers for her birthday? In Telford, England, women don't have that luxury.

And that is David DeAngelo's opinion.

Think about what you said there. You are saying that women prefer convicted rapists over nice guys. That is actually a pretty awful thing to say about women. It is practically misogyny. See, you have proved my point! (And the point made by HBI.) I said that these guys who consider themselves to be nice guys are NOT really nice guys, and lo and behold, you consider yourself to be a nice guy yet you said this AWFUL thing about women. You are NOT being a truly nice guy, you are being a nasty guy while convincing yourself that you are nice, and that is why you are experiencing rejection. Change the attitude, you will get more success.

Also, even if everything you did was superficially nice, even if you act nice, my understanding is that NT's will still manage to pick up on the fact that you are not truly nice in your mind. They somehow manage to sub-consciously realize that you have all these awful thoughts about women running through your mind. Actually, they probably do not realize that, but they do feel that something is wrong, although they might not be able to explain it.

And yet, it is true. You're new here so I'll link you the article I am referring to. http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... 553#203553

And, the dreaded statistics to back up my points - http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... 907#202907

These prove that at least in Canada, women don't care how "bad" a guy is. They certainly don't want to be abused, but not only do they return into abusive relationships a significant part of the time, but they choose guys that are in prison - and this isn't even the only recent example from this region of Ontario. Why? According to relationship guru David DeAngelo (www.doubleyourdating.com), it is because these guys happen to have something called "confidence". The one girl that told me I was too innocent said that it also means I must lack confidence.

A girl, who believed I was a great guy and that I was a good friend to her, chose someone else over me for a relationship, citing that she just wanted to be friends with me. Who did she pick? The guy was in jail. Why was he in jail? He beat up his own mother. He also beat up some people at school. He also was using hard drugs. He was in and out of court continually, and went from institution to institution. And yet she preferred him over me. They are still together almost three years later. I have feared for her safety all that time, and she has told me that none of her other friends support her being in that relationship, citing that the guy is "too bad". Likewise, in the murder of over a year ago here, the young woman's friends and mother did not support her relationship.

You can call it an awful thing to say about women all you want. But it's true. I don't like it any more than you do. I wish it was all false, and I wish someone would take me up on the challenge of proving me wrong, which nobody has yet even attempted (you're dealing with a university philosophy and political science student). I would like to believe I am wrong, because I would like to believe that humans are good-natured, but I have seen too much evidence to the contrary. When women tell me that I'm "too innocent", and I present to other women (including one professional through the university I go to) these very stats and this murder case and they agree with me about women (one even said that feminists are too self-centred and are man-haters), there's no disputing it.

HOWEVER, there is always room for improvement in how I treat women - nobody is perfect, and I am certainly not. I am going to make more of an effort to act like their friend instead of acting like they are my friend, as difficult as it is now with what has been going on in the family et cetera.

The perfect guy that girls look for is confident but respectful. And those guys are hard to find.

I have some right to be bitter. I do agree that with some people I need to be a better friend to them, and I am going to ask my existing female friends how I can improve. However at the same time it would be nice if females actually gave me a chance instead of using their useless, irrelavent tests to prove nothing about me except certain statistics about my dating past which have no bearing on the present or future.