I want justice.

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Please don't judge me too easily.....

Here is the problem. It's about justice.

I've met a person using a forum for people with some kind of handicap or difficulty, varying from physical handicaps to shyness, and we decided to meet eachother.This guy is now 22 years old and due to social phobia and past depression still a virgin, but yet he's very eager to have sex. I thought we'd meet as friends, but he started to act as if he was in love with me, continuing to do that over MSN after the meeting.

I have been in love once, for a couple of days, and therefore I know how you act in such a state and as people have fallen in love with me earlier (don't ask me why) I know how you look and act if you are. This guy was lying, no doubt about it. He even told me over MSN when he was drunk how much he wanted to get laid. Fine. He also gave compliments that were obvious lies, he probably thinks every girl wants to be model so he told me I'm so pretty that I should become a model. Give me a break.

This whole situation makes me angry because he wanted me to believe him and lose my virginity to him. My body is nothing but a mass of flesh and virginity is worth nothing, I think, but there are millions of girls out there who DO care, who DO add value to their virginity. He knows that and therefore it's quite a severe moral crime. A moral crime he committed to me. I do not want to tolerate this. Autistic = naive it seems, otherwise there wouldn't be that much 40-year-old creeps who try the same because they want to f*ck an 18-year-old. Yes, I've met several of them through forums, all blocked on my MSN list. Approaching little innocent girls.

It's nothing but a pathetic and pretty disgusting attempt of taking advantage of someone's weaknesses/disorder.

Furthermore, he could say the same stuff to another, more naive girl, and she would lose her virginity to a lying bastard who doesn't give a sh*t about her except for what's between her legs.

That's a moral crime and it diserves punishment. There are WAY too many moral crimes being committed, and I have a hard time allowing this moral crime to happen as the SO MANIEST without any form of retribution. Billions of moral crimes take place, just look at the amount of bullies.

I wish I could get back at him in some way......

Even though my (and other's) bullies will remain unpunished, how can I still let this happen? Justice in one case in a million is better than no justice at all. It would make the world an extremely, unimaginably small bit less unjust. It's perhaps nothing but a priciple.

Is there any way I can get equity for this? I have a hard time just letting this happen. I want to see justice, even more because he might now be trying to ruin the ''first time'' for another girl.

I wouldn't go after him. You don't know who he is and what he'd be willing to do to get back at you. The most I'd do is find some way of spreading the word on that site about what he's doing--preferably in a way that won't be traced back to you. That could at least prevent him from taking advantage of anyone else.

You could report him to the local authorities - trusting, of course, that he's "local" enough for you to contact the police - and make a report of harassment, or whatever the Netherlands does legally for creepy perverts like him.

Perhaps writing a letter to the editor denouncing creepy perverts in general and hoping he sees himself in the letter.

Or simply attempting to exercise patience and faith that he will get his ass kicked at some point in his life for being a creepy pervert!

You will be more effective if you can get one or two other people to fight this battle with you. And in addition, the site, esp since it's for people with a handicap or difficulty, should be able to do something.

Creature... it looks to me like

a) Guy acted as an inexperienced male with raging hormones would be expected to act - thinking with the wrong head. Living in world of fantasy. Lying and possibly even believing his own lies. Anything to accomplish the goal. It is nothing new, it is pretty see-through behavior, old as time itself, and most girls are wired with a sixth sense about this sort of thing.

b) Consider spending less time getting offended by Things That Come From The Internet. Otherwise you may end up being that old lady on my block who calls the police to report cars that "obstruct the sidewalk" by an extra inch.

If karma does indeed exist, I can see this guy getting duped by some 14 yr old girl online saying she's 17 or whatever. Statutory rape charges for him. I've had a guy use me to lose his virginity so I know how it feels like to be treated as nothing but a piece of meat (it wasn't my first time though).

But on the other hand, he's only done this sort of thing once, there's no pattern there to assume he's going to do this over and over. There might be a pattern of general disrespect towards girls but that's all.

Its kind of ironic that you open this post with the phrase "please don't judge me too easily." From your post it seems like you have nothing other than your opinion to support the idea that this guy may be lying to you. Then you go on to talk about wanting justice because he might possible lie to someone else in the future. Even if he's lying and not being as awkward and inept as you would expect from someone with depression, phobias(and maybe Asperger's?) then you don't know why he's "lying." Perhaps he is acting as he thinks he is expected to act if he likes someone. Have you even told him that you think he might be lying to you? And suddenly he's gone from being a shy, depressed 22yo to a "40 yo creep" and a "bully?" And you have to justify your desire for hurting him by thinking of the millions of innocent girls that he might "ruin" by taking their virginity? What about his virginity? How does he lose that without someone ruining it for him? And now you already have people here calling him a creepy pervert and telling you to tell everyone else these things on the site where you met him.

Whatever you're looking for I wouldn't call it justice. If the poor guy had social phobias before I'm sure that when you're done with him he'll never want to interact with another human being again.

@LadybugQ:

He's not local enough for my local police, and as far as I know there isn't any law against his behavior. It's impossible to tell if someone loved someone else at a certain moment in time...so law suits would be quite a nightmare.

Mosaicofminds, I don't think he's dangerous or anything, just a perv.

Spreading the word might be a good idea indeed, though that will surely get me complaints from him and other people, but it's worth it. On the other hand, he might as well visit another website I don't know about and start all over again. Hopeless.

monsterland, the ability to surpress or deal with urges, desires and tendencies is one of the things that seperates us from the other beasts. He still has brains, and as we live in a civilized country, he has some form of civilization that may make him consider what he's doing.

And thanks for the warning, I'll watch out I don't end up like that old lady on your block!

Calling the authorities would accomplish little. Unless you've left something out, he has committed no crime that I know of. Perhaps the laws are different in your country. Even here in the USA, I doubt the police would spring into action because a 22-year-old tried to seduce an 18-year-old and lied on the internet about loving her. And we love putting people in jail.

It seems as if you are saying that he committed a moral crime because if you had been someone else, you would have been hurt. Yet you are you, and you still seem to be hurt. I am having trouble following this logic.

Men and women lie to get sex, money, and everything else. Especially on the Internet. Taking every incident personally and/or appointing yourself as some moral enforcer is neither productive nor healthy.

Was he in the wrong? Yes.
But perhaps you should examine why this incident has so deeply angered you that you desire revenge.

Take a deep breath.

Now exhale.

Now relax.

Unless a guy is dropping a date rape drug into your drink or otherwise coercing you to have sex - he has not committed a crime. The police have no interest in this non-crime.

Billions of young people have had sex of one type or another with other human beings where they might have been lied to ("I love you, really ... and I'll respect you in the morning blah blah blah") It might be morally wrong, but if we smote them all off the planet Earth - there would be less humans on the planet than there were in Medieval times.

The best that you can do is educate yourself and others about red flags and try to stay clear of guys who might take advantage.

Firstly, context does matter. Killing an enemy in war is generally considered to be less immoral than say, killing someone for their phone. It is still killing, but the context and victim matter.

And It does matter if you care or not, because you clearly due care. That was main my point.

I did not say you are "completely raging into insanity". But you expressed a definite desire to punish this man. You asked us how you might do it. Do you truly believe that is because you are just trying to protect the whole of the female population, while you maintain you were in no way affected by him?

I am only suggesting that you try to understand your emotions so you can better cope with them.

OP, I don't see the "moral crime" here, so no reason for any type of "punishment" to be meted out to this young man. You seem to be forgetting that this guy has social phobia - which I'm assuming means that he's socially awkward and hasn't had a lot of interaction with women. So....it seems incredibly likely that he's relying on information he might have gleaned from movies, television, the internet, or other types of media about how a young man who's interested in a young lady might behave to show his interest, e.g., pay her a compliment; express affection; work a few "sexy" comments into the conversation.

That's called "courting" - and as part of the courting process, you're free to reject his advances - which is what you did. You've stated that even if he'd succeeded in convincing you to make a gift of your virginity to him, it would have meant nothing to you because you don't value your virginity. So why are you so angry with him? Why do you want to punish him? Why do you believe he's "bullied" you? I'm sorry....I can tell that you're angry, but this young man doesn't deserve your anger. So you might want to examine your feelings more closely, to determine why you're focusing your anger on this guy.

HopeGrows, that makes a lot of sense. I know I've done a lot of goofy, incorrect things because I thought it was the proper social protocol. All very insightful.