love vs friendship?

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Are you guys also having trouble discerning between these two?

I think I've been in love three times, and every one of those times was with my best friend at that moment.

I'm beginning to doubt if I really can become close friends with (the kind I would call up just to share my day/what's been happening) someone without falling in love/developing strong feelings for that person. I'm also beginning to doubt if I'd be motivated to become close friends with someone without that feeling of.....exitement?

I mean, perhaps its not all that bad, so long as I don't have to lie about it.

what's your take on this? Have you experienced something similar, or have you got any idea of how I might proceed? =D

If you know you fancy them straight away, then don't be friends with them, just be upfront and tell them straight away, ask them out, put your cards on the table etc.

It might seem a bit gun-ho but by using this method you avoid the following,

1) You haven't lost a friend if she isn't interested

2) She can't accuse you of decieving her (which women will happily use as a cop-out if it suits them)

Yes, I have trouble discerning between the two.

However, I reject the notions that:
1. They are mutually exclusive. (the either/or scenario)
2. There is an absolute distinction between the two.
3. That one is "superior" to the other.

I believe that two people (or even more) can have
one foot in each category, and not have to feel
guilty or ashamed or dishonest about this.

I've had crushes on many of my lady-friends before,
and made polite advances to some of them.
In the few cases where this led to unpleasant
results, I didn't feel I lost much anyway.
A friendship that fragile is not worth maintaining.

The rest of the time, they were uninterested,
but flattered nonetheless.
Those friendships were also enhanced in this way:
It helped us affirm our understanding that we can share
secrets without fear, even if they're intensely personal
or potentially embarrassing.

I don't really have too much trouble but sometimes yes, I'll mistake a girl being friendly and think that she likes me as more than a friend. I also go with what Fatal-Noogie said. My girlfriend is my best friend, but even if we broke up she'd still be my best friend.

I think this is good advice, but I think deliverance is very important; you need to be as subtle as you can about it (and trust that the woman will read the cues; generally they're really good at picking up cues anyway) and come across as attractive as you can make yourself. Being overly blunt can be offputting.

I'm the same way. I believe my partner should be my best friend 1st

There is a girl at work who I am good friends with. We have a good laugh together, share a lot of common interests, have similar values, etc. I really like her, but I am not entirely sure if her feelings are quite mutual. I feel that if I were to act, and tell her, it may ruin a wonderful friendship.

But on the other hand, she seems to care about me enough, to not be mean about it even if she does not feel that way about me.

I have no idea how to read the signs. She does engage in a lot of physical contact (touching my arm,etc), and talks to me about non work related stuff a lot. Those have me curious, I must admit. Curse my lack of social skills! Maybe she's just a touchy feely type of person in general.

Sometimes I worry about if I even know what love is, but I think that it is the same thing as a best friend but with lust.
Someone you don't dread seeing, that makes you happy and that you don't want to hurt. Plus physical attraction
I decided it doesn't matter as long as those conditions are fulfilled.

Me too. The idea of a couple living together just for reliable sex and raising kids seems absolutely stupid to me. I'd always be looking for a partner who would become a really close friend to me, and if that didn't happen, I'd want a different partner, I couldn't be happy living for years with somebody who wasn't my friend. In any case, sexual interaction normally bonds the couple emotionally whether they acknowledge it or not, so if they think they're going to be able to treat each other like business colleagues or something, their lives are going to get confusing.

There seems to be a reasonable consensus in our society that marriage is the art of sharing a life together. How can anybody do that without becoming friends?

So I think the problem is with the people who feel that there's a conflict between love and friendship.