Wanna ask a girl to the movies, but can't do it

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I want to ask an acquaintance, who works for a company for whom I've done freelance work, to the movies. But I just can't do it. I'm afraid she'll say no, that she has a boyfriend (I have no idea, since it's been a while since I've seen her, apart from stopping by the office for brief visits, or some minor work). I'm afraid it'll be awkward, and then everytime I see her it'll be awkward, and I just can't bring my self to take the risk. I want her to say yes, but the fear of her saying no outweighs the positive outcome. Rather than desire the carrot, I fear the stick.

This is where The Game drives me nuts. I might not be so afraid, if I knew that a negative response could still mean a friendship is possible. But it has rarely happened that way. When I ask a friend, either she declines outright, or in one or two instances accepts, goes out with me, discovers I'm damaged goods and she can do better, and the result in all cases is they never speak to me again, even when I make occasional neutral FB messages or emails saying stuff like, "Hey, how're things going with you these days?"

And I have so few friends anyways, that I fear risking that for the slight chance of finding something greater: love. Because instead, it winds up costing me a friend, so why even try?

I dont' know what to do!

"I bought two movie tickets but my friend bailed on me. Want to go?"

"Hey baby, do you want to spend the night with me?"

Or better:

"Nice shoes! Do you want to have sex with me?"

Edit: By the way, I'm just kidding...

I understand fully. It isn't easy to be rejected, but you know what? It doesn't always end that way. Sometimes you might just be surprised and find that she will say yes. You can't ever win, if you don't jump in and play the game. If you don't try then you've already lost. So give it a go. Just be honest and go ahead and ask her out. If it is meant to be, then it will work out OK.

Good Luck!

Do you know anyone who is good friends with her? If so, ask them what is the best way to approach the girl you like. Sometimes there are complicating factors (not always bofriends) which you may need to know in advance. At least that way you'll know you went about it the right way and it isn't your fault if she refuses.

Good luck!

Sometimes you need to just choke up the courage to ask her. You'll feel better once you did. Trust me on this one. A "no" answer is better than having doubts for a while.

some thoughts...

1. does she has a boyfriend... You could find out before you ask her out - shouldn't be all that hard, either ask someone else, or chat to her for a while and see if she mentions either a. her wonderful boyfriend or b. how fed up she is of being single. But then again, you could just not worry about it and ask her out anyway, because if she does turn out to have a boyfriend you weren't to know. You haven't committed a crime or anything!

2. will it be awkward if she says no... probably. but a little bit of awkwardness is not the worst thing in the world. remember the people around you are probably walked around feeling embarrassed about similar awkward situations. up to you to decide if she's worth it or not!

3. you're worried about losing her friendship... whilst I'd question whether it was worth losing a long term, close friend by asking them out, I think this is different. You might be better off pursuing a friendship with someone you weren't also attracted too. If you tried to make friends with this girl, it might always be awkward, because you knew you wanted more. I'd say you stand the best chance of still being mates with her, if she turns you down, by trying to look as unbothered as you possibly can - she won't want to be around you if she thinks you're pining after her, but if you look like you don't care, she'll feel more comfortable.

hope this helps a bit!

write a note and pass it to her.
be sure to put a heart or two in there somewhere so the intention isn't missed .

it'll be so ridiculously grade-school, that she'll prolly think it's cute.
& you won't actually have to say it in words. Much easier

Sometimes the best thing is to just ask. And make it clear that it is not a group invitation. I asked a girl out like this.

Find out if she's in a commited relationship first. If she's single or she's dating then you can ask her. If there's a BF in the picture, you better not.

Be confident and casual about it. "Hey I've got two movie tickets. You wanna go with me?" YES THAT WOULD WORK. Look her in the eyes and be confident.

If you can't muster up the courage, send her a text message instead! Don't make this the very first message ever from you though. That would be an instant red flag. Chat back and forth, and then ask.

I know, the movies are all crap these days.

Thanks for all the replies. I wish I had better news. I just couldn't go through with it. I could pretty much guess how it was going to wind up without trying. I guess I'm just not to where I can bear the humiliation of rejection for the miniscule hope of acceptance.

But maybe someday I'll have more courage, and I'll surely remember everyone's advice.

BR

You see, that sucks.

You should have tried. You will not learn unless you try and fail and try again. It isn't failure to get shot down. It is a failure if you don't even try. Now you'll never know what could have been.

I say go back and re-do. REMEMBER, other people do this all the time. It isn't weird, it isn't scary. You have nothing to worry about. Just be confident and look her in the eyes and be yourself. Don't stutter or behave like you are doing something wrong or like you are violating some sort of a boundary. Guys talk to her all the time and you are just one more. I understand the TOM is an issue for aspies but at least try to see things from her perspective.

Also, there's no reason why you would want to keep this a secret so don't try to find a perfect moment when the two of you are alone, because you'll never ask. You can ask her with other people present as long as you keep your voice down. Don't give water cooler vultures new gossip material.