Advice for the guys under 30

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You probably don't want to here this, but here it goes:

Don't worry about finding a girlfriend.

That's right, don't worry about finding a girlfriend. A lot of women in their 20s are still shallow. Women complain about men just wanting women who look good...but for women it's worse. There are NT women that are 6 on the 10 scale, and think they deserve Brad Pitt.

I did a couple experiments on dating sites...making one profile called "gymaddict" and using pictures of a steroid using prick looking guy, and another profile of a guy in a firefighter suit, and messaged the same women that didn't respond to the real me (keep in mind I'm not ugly and have been told as much.) On the gymaddict profile, I said things like "I like to drink with the boys, lift weights, and make out with as many women as possible. If you think you can tame me, go for it." The amount of women that messaged him was astronomical, and they didn't even care that he was a jerk...some even liked it. The firefighter was more relaxed but still cocky sounding, and got even more hits than the gymaddict guy.

Keep in mind, the women that messaged me and that I was messaging with these screen names were mainly unattractive, average, and cute (6-7ish.) If these guys are the male "10" lookswise...what makes these women think they deserve him, and moreover, why would they want these guys anyway given their personalities?

On the other hand, I just came back from a 4 star hotel full of older couples (30s, 40s) and saw a lot of plain and average looking men or ok looking men (men in the 5-7 range) with pretty and beautiful wives. The cynics on this site might be thinking "The guys have money"...and in some cases, that might be true...but not all. When women get older, they smarten up, and look for Mr. Compatible instead of Mr. Porn Fantasy.

"So what am I supposed to do, be alone all throughout my 20s?"

No one's saying that, but dating, and getting more experience in and out of bed is more practical than searching for a soulmate at such a young age especially given the state of 20something women. Find the exceptions and get to know them, and become comfortable around women, get better in bed, so when you're in your 30s and meet that woman you really click with, you're prepared.

The NT women who want relationships in their 20s, when they say they want a "great guy"...what they really mean is that they want a buff guy whose looks are a 10 on the 10 scale and he has a great paying job or "exciting" job (firefighter, cop, drug dealer.) A lot of these women would rather do without than date a mentally balanced, loyal and decent looking guy.

Thinking "you're the problem" is just setting yourself up for years of therapy.

First I must say, I do agree that men under 30 shouldn't worry about not having a girlfriend. Men have far longer "shelf lives" as far as dating goes and it isn't just that older men prefer younger women, but also that many younger women prefer older men.....until they hit 30 and then they generally prefer younger men.

Internet dating sites are hardly representative of the general population.

They are the bastions of the socially inept, the overly picky, the unrealistic, and the hypocritical.
And then of course, the unavailable married, taken, and bored.

The older couples you saw are more representative of the population as a whole. If you were to sit outside in a public place and watched couples, you'd find average with average, hot guy with average girl, hot girl with average guy, ugly guys with average girls, ugly guys with hot girls, and on rare occasion, hot guys with ugly girls.

There is a difference between finding someone aesthetically attractive and sexually attractive and then just plain being attracted to them.

There's also a high degree of subjectivity in all of this, so who are we to really judge who is good looking enough to try to date who?

I'm skeptical I'd find the men you used for your experiment physically attractive. You also must keep in mind that people that most would consider physically attractive can also be passed up for dates due to, in the case of women, men being afraid to ask them out, and in the case of men, women being afraid the men are shallow and lack faithfulness.

Men, if you see a girl you like, go say hello.

I know online dating isn't representative of the world...but it seems that the women who put themselves out there for online dating are all looking for the same kind of guy.

As for real life...I've had conventionally unattractive women laugh at me for no reason other than that I was in their line of sight, and I've had attractive women interested in me. It all boils down to taste.

And the couples I see locally in real life, especially under the age of 30...the same kind of guy (the ones mentioned before) are all with most semi-decent looking women. Could just be the area I live in. Down south I noticed everyone is friendlier and more open-minded, whereas up in the northeast, people in general are uppidy, but especially the young women. You say hi to them and they act like you just asked them for sex..

People need to relax and wait for it to happen. They're more likely to find someone then. It always seems to happen when you're not looking.

That said, I've seen people on here saying they've never had a date in 20 years like that, so I dunno.

Got to agree dating sites are rubbish. I've overlooked many people who I wouldn't in real life if I got to know them, if the person I was with recently contacted me on a dating site I would have ignored him too... people just don't take dating sites seriously.

A lot of men become much more appealing as they age, too. Women - its all down hill.

Oh, I have to reply to this.

Everyone has made interesting points.

I "think" that the media of all types has created many issues for the world's population, namely looks, wealth, reputation etc.

There is a balance to be struck in everything. Too much and you may be obssessive, too little and you may be just apathetic as an apathetic practising apathetist.

When I see internet guides about "how to get the women" blah blah, I wonder how much is really correct.

Unfortunately, some facts seem to be true.

To a percentage of people (I won't declare a percentage because then I do the same thing as others' and speculate without the facts).....

1) Pretty people are more appreciated as friends/people to display than ugly
2) "Normal" people are more appreciated than obviously dysfunctional
3) Rich people are also more appreciated as friends/name drop potentials
4) Flash cars, blah blah are certainly more appreciated for obvious reasons.

So, of course, most "shallow" people feel the need to follow the protocols above.
You have to ask yourself if those easy to acquire people are worthy to be called good friends or partners etc.
Then again, that's only my opinion and only 1 out of billions of opinions.

Online dating/online chat is certainly a good tool for attention seekers/needers.
The classic msn attention seekers drive me mad, but then thats why I don't use those things.
I had an account on okcupid only because it had plenty of quizzes and it made more sense that someone who answers 500 questions and gets a better match rate, must be more suitable personality wise, but then it comes to looks, money/financial stability/ etc

The final point about online dating though, is that, if its a free service, without a proper photo identity service, who the hell are you dealing with.
Whether you look for dates in the online world or real world, I do wonder what the odds of finding a compatible partner would be.

I just don't trust the "things will get better" line. There are too many people here who are in their thirties and forties (say) with no luck, and I don't see how I would do any better at their age. I've seen the same speculative reasoning that I would have more luck in the latter part of secondary school than the earlier part, that I would have more luck in college than in secondary school, and that I would have more luck as a postgraduate than an undergraduate. But hey, perhaps most of us are not Mr. Compatible, and in fact are less likely to be compatible than the average guy.

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