Much older man

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Hi, all. I'm a regular over at the Off-the-Wall forum here on WP, but don't explore the rest of the site as much. Anyway, I'm kinda freaking out over my latest crush.....

I'm 43 years old, and I'm interested in a much older man -- he's 78, old enough to be my grandfather! I've always liked older men -- even when I was a kid I wanted to hang out with the grown-ups and not the other kids -- but this is a new record for me. He's single, but in a relationship ... with my landlady, which makes it kind of dangerous, because I really can't afford to lose this apartment if she were to get jealous and kick me out. They've been together for several years, and he's even asked her to marry him, but she's not showing a lot of enthusiasm for the idea. In fact she hasn't even gotten around to filing for a divorce from her husband, although they got legally separated 5 years ago. I think he might be tired of waiting, and I think he might be interested in me ... or I might just be telling myself what I want to believe.

Even though he's an old man, I think he's sexy because he's so much more MANLY than all those dressed-up office boys I used to know. He built his own house. He lives on a 54-acre farm, he built the barn and all the outbuildings. Not single-handedly, but he was his own general contractor, and yes he did a lot of it with his own hands. And for an old man he's in damn good shape ... I love to watch him swing a hammer I mean, he's 78 years old and on no medications, he doesn't even take a vitamin pill -- not opposed to medicine, just too healthy to need any. He used to be a professional soccer player. He was a fighter pilot ... in the Korean War, which ended 14 years before I was born. This is the first man I've been interested in who is older than my parents. He was born before my grandparents got married. He's OLD. But he's sweet and good and sexy and his farm is just like paradise.

I'm not so much freaking out over the fact that this is my landlady's man I'm coveting, and risking getting thrown out on the street. I'm freaking out over the fact that I'm so attracted to a 78-year-old man!

Not really asking for any specific feedback, I guess ... just kind of obsessing over this and feeling the need to say it.

He sounds interesting to talk to, LOL.
Remember age is just a number!!

Last edited by Guitar_Girl on 07 Jul 2010, 8:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well reginaterrae, you`ll feed him well.

An old friend met his sister-in-law's father one Christmas and became instantly attracted to him. He was so puzzled by this as the man was in his early 80s and straight.

I have no such crushes to report presently.

I don't think you should be freaking out about it at all. The older you get, the less age matters, IMO.

I say go have fun!

Thanks for the encouragement, guys ... I hope something will come of it. I'll let you know if it does!

Does it worry you that he's probably going to die a lot sooner than you will? That's the main thing that would worry me if I went that way. Not that I'm knocking it.

Yeah, I think about that. But I figure, it's better to have loved and lost, and all that.... That is, I wouldn't give up 5 years of a really great love just because it can't be 50 years. Ironically, his last wife was quite a bit younger (not as young as me, though), and she died of cancer 9 years ago.

And who would inherit the 54-acre farm?

As a matter of interest, who did he play professional soccer for? It must have been in Europe (or possibly South America) as there was no professional soccer in the US 50 years ago. I'm a passionate football historian, and I'm just curious. Sorry if I'm being nosey.

Well, I can dream ... but for all I know it's mortgaged to the hilt, even a reverse mortgage or something. Again, it's better to have lived in paradise and lost it, than never to have been there at all! He does have kids & grandkids, so I don't count on inheriting the farm even if he married me. Anyway ... I don't know ... I would probably be happy living there alone, but not as happy as living there with someone like him. I've thought seriously of being a hermit, but I have such executive functioning issues, I would probably make myself miserable.

*sigh* But yeah, honestly? I'd LOVE to inherit the 54-acre farm

Last edited by reginaterrae on 07 Jul 2010, 11:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Closer to 60 years ago Actually there was professional soccer in the US -- immigrant leagues, just like we now have our Latin American leagues (at least, we do around here). He played on a German-American team in Philadelphia. His dad actually played for the US in the Olympics!

Wow, i once had a crush on a man who's old enough to be my father. I thought that was old enough LOL


Same here!


hmmmm, have to be careful with that.


I hope he is interested in you!! !
but I tend to telling myself what I want to believe when it comes to crushes.....
however, sometimes it ended up to be the truth


I totally know what you mean The last old man I had crushes on looks older than my dad, but i think he's totally hot!! ! hotter than all the young guys in uni.





Totally know how you feel!! !


I understand. when i had the crush with the old man, i couldn't helping ssaying it....just need to express it. i told my cousin, my best friend on WP and my mum. can't believe i told mum = =" she thought i was crazy LOL...

A same-age spouse can be hit by a delivery truck, or choke on a sandwich - a child killed in a school bus accident, or a younger SO lost to cancer, lukemia or Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. No one here gets out alive. Everyone you know will eventually be lost to you, either by their death, or by yours.


Have a nice day!

My mom still has fond memories of the 38-year-old I lived with for two years when I was 18 .... how good he was for me! I'm very lucky that I have an open-minded family. My last boyfriend, that lasted for 5 years, is 67. Still, if something were to work out with this guy, I still feel a little shy about telling the family this time. I mean, this one's OLD Even though I think my family would be happy, he's actually a lot better catch than the last one. Got his head on straight, as far as I can tell. The last one calls vodka the "breakfast of champions".

You're quite right. As I said, he lost his last younger wife to cancer. Or I could be a young widow, only God knows. Either way, I don't see it as a reason not to go for it.

If you're nearly 50, then you're well old enough to decide who you want. Age isn't a problem.

Your landlady though... well, to be honest, it would be very unfair on her. Even though she isn't married to him, she's still his partner and it does get harder to find people as you get older, so for someone (and a tenant, so presumably she trusts you to some degree) to come along and steal her boyfriend from her is pretty horrible.

Can you sound her out discretely? I don't know a subtle way for asking "do you still want your boyfriend or can I have him" but perhaps there is one. Otherwise, I would see breaking someone's heart like that as unforgivable.. the fact that she didn't marry him could be for any reason, not simply because she doesn't love him.