social awkwardness scaring girls

Post Reply New Topic

yes, I am reasonably good looking fellow
yet my social awkwardness simply scares females away

really, really sucks

The girls that are scared away by your awkwardness are not the girls you want anyway. Why does it matter? Sure it's frustrating but don't let it get to you.

I don't scare girls away, at least I don't think so, I just give them no reason to be interested me. Other than being tall, there's nothing exceptional about my looks and the fact that I'm a little overweight probably negates the advantage being tall would give me. But the biggest reason is simply that I never have anything to say. My hobbies and interests only seem to attract other guys so meeting a girl in an enviroment like that is not likely. That leaves me the option of just meeting some random stranger some place at maybe a grocery store, restaurant while waiting to be seated, or something like that. And in those situations, I just don't have anything to say. There could be me and the girl of my dreams in a room by ourselves and I would never even realize it because beyond saying "hello" or something, I wouldn't have anything to say. I don't know anything about her so I couldn't ask her about any of her interests. More than likely, she wouldn't be interesated in my interests, so I wouldn't want to just start talking about them. Because, at this point, she's a complete stranger, I'm not interested in subjects like her job so asking questions like, "where do you work?" are pointless because I really don't care about the information and I don't see the point of asking questions if the answer you get isn't relevant to anything.

my awkwardness tends to drive them closer, and I just simply shrug them all off and whatever. I am borderline Asexual anyways. I have only a marginal amount of interest in women at best that doesnt really drive actions and or feelings at all.

One day I was down at my union hall and I saw a beautiful Silver 2009 Dodge Challenger. I went inside to ask who's it was and, suprisingly it turned out to belong to a new secritary that works there that happens to be smoking hot. I'm in a Car Club that covers Challengers, Chargers, Chrystler 300 and, Magnums. So I started to talk to her about her car because I wanted to see if she would join our car club but, I think I creeped her out too much. She didn't seem to be too interested.

Now when ever I go down to dispatch I avoid talking to her. I wish they would bring the old secritary back. Who everyone hated but, I got along with.

If it is about social interaction, I have some success with women (it doesn't yield a relationship immediately, but it makes me more comfortable with NT women. There aren't AS women that I tried out the following with):
- often smile to them. Some women like to be smiled at, but there will also be women that won't smile back, because they are in thought, or want to give a signal that they are not interested in you, or in a chat;
- making jokes, flirt in a non-sexual way. My jokes are often word games and often enough puns. And I like to take things literally with a humoristic effect. Girls and women often smile in that case. That way I can see whether there is a social match;
- social talk. Comment the weather: "It is very hot, isn't it?" Sometimes: "Haven't you melted away because of the heat?" especially if there isn't a ventilator or an airco and she does suffer from the heat. This is a joke, but with some empathy in it;
- despite of the post above, ask the girls and women where they work. I consider this as an open question. The answer the girl or woman gives can lead to way more questions, and then you have a vivid conversation;
- be careful about talking about your own interest. The girl may ask questions about your interest afterwards, but it is possible it is a social turn off, if you talk about your interest, your hobbies, and the girl can do nothing with it, simply because she doesn't know a thing of it. What on earth can she ask?

What exactly do you mean by 'social awkwardness'? That's pretty broad.

Scaring people away is the worst feeling in the world. I know what you mean, OP.

Create this vibe with your non-verbals that says you're interested without even saying a word. The girl should notice that you're interested before you even say a word. A lot of it has to do with direct eye contact and acting sexy, which is all these subtle little things that begin to add up over time.

i completely agree with the OP, i think i scare them off too or they are spoiled and feel im not good enough for them or something like that