Probable Aspie and Suspected Aspie...

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I suppose I should introduce the situation. I've lurked here for a while, but decided to register and post as I'm currently confused.

Although I've not gone for a proper diagnosis, whilst under psych care I was told by my psychiatrist that it was very likely I have Aspergers. After a couple of discussions it was decided that as I was already in the system that a formal diagnosis was probably not worth the effort. So I'm somewhere in the undiagnosed, but recognise that I have many of the symptoms, camp.

Anyway, I met a girl. She's really different to the other people I know, and found myself falling for her. Mutual acquaintances don't seem to know whether she's ever had a boyfriend before, or is even interested in people. Someone else has suggested that there's something 'not quite right' with her and another person suggested she might be an aspie. We seem to spend loads of time chatting about the stuff we both like. Physically we're quite separate, but there's lots of eye contact and smiles (both unusual things for me). One evening I got a text saying she didn't know whether she'd got the wrong idea or whether I had, but she just wanted to be friends.

Since then we've ended up spending even more time together and also she sends me text messages when she's bored and has nothing else to do. If she has something better to do it seems like I don't exist. Things are either very hot or cold with her, so I don't know what to do now. Do I continue putting up with the constant switching between lots of attention/no attention etc? Am I being taken for a ride? Should I just change my routine and cut all contact with her?

It is best if you still keep in contact with her, it sounds likevyou are quite good friends, so she would be hurt and confused if you didn't keep in contact with her. She can't always send text messages, and many people only do it of they've got nothing else to do. Don't worry about it, I think stuff like that is normal.

Thanks for the advice. I shall try and still keep in contact because I don't want to hurt her. I think I'm going to spend less time with her though, we had been spending anywhere between half an hour and a couple of hours each day chatting to each other.

I think that in the long run I'd like to be friends with her, but at the moment I'm still very much attracted to her, and not entirely sure that spending much time with her is helpful in getting over that. I can't really talk to her about it and tell her how I feel though. I'm not good at stuff like that and what would I say anyway? "I want to spend less time around you because I like you too much" sounds really dumb .

I have done some of the online tests and just re-did the AQ test, scoring 38, I think I scored a couple of points higher last year so I must have answered something differently.

Well, quick update, I've asked her round to watch a movie sometime this weekend.

So if she comes over then at some point I'll try and explain why I've been a little more odd than usual, and that I do want to be friends with her. Hopefully that conversation will be short because I don't want to end up going off on a tangent or opening up too much to her.

As one final update, she bailed on coming around. The next day I saw her at the place we usually hang out together and she turned up holding hands with a guy. I tried not to say anything and stayed mostly out of their way for a couple of hours then came home. Is it out of order for me to feel hurt that she let me know that way rather than just telling me? At least I now know what the something better to do was