Meeting "weird" women

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I definitely think some of my lack of success with women has to do with my inability to meet women who are truly completely outside the mainstream, who don't have a clue how the dynamics of the normal dating process works and are willing to almost explore anything, because they really don't have any reference to say some way of doing a relationship is better than another. Women who are part of a well defined subculture seem to not bother straying from the norms and expectations of that subculture.

Aside from on here, have any of you found good places to meet unusual, possibly loner women?

I like weird women myself biostructure but I have very little clue where to find em except for the net but I cant give any specific sites. I kind of doubt there's a certain place or thing that would attract weird women sense if they all liked the same thing & had stuff in common they would become a group/culture at some point but you mite see a few occasionally at random places online or offline so you should keep looking in places you don't expect

What do you mean by "willing to almost explore anything"?

I'm not sure what he means but, I'll take a crack at it. There's a lot of women that like Jane Austin and Artists like her. There's a few online communities devoted to her work. I'm sure if a male were prepaired to intelligently converse about her books and, maybe even dress up as Mr. Darcy on occasion. He would be the proverbial cock in the hen house.

I met a weird girl playing online games once. I ever flew her out to Vegas so we could meet IRL. However she liked PvP and was always starting fights with me. I liked PvE wich she had little patience for. We worked together for awhile on an in game buisness that made real life money. Then we drifted appart and, went to seperate games. Ironicly in my new game WoW I got heavily involve in PvP for awhile.

"Weird" women (or men) can be attractive and interesting.

But here is a great rule of thumb:

Would you take him or her home to meet your parents?

If not then this is probably not the person that you should marry.

All women are weird.

I think that only works if you have cool parents. Some parents have very unrealistically high standards for their kids partners. Also if you come from a very dysfunctional family with lots of problems; having a partner they would approve of may not be a good thing.




Most people find me weird & I find most others weird. I think weird is a relative term. Some underground social sites mite be a good place to try to meet people who are unusual & loners. Only site like that I use rite now thou is DarkStarlings & it was more active years ago but the community is nice & they mite have better ideas
Welcome to DarkStarlings, an online community for all underground and alternative lifestyles; industrial, gothic, alternative, punk, metal, j-rock. Thousands of member profiles with free advanced searching to help you find others who share your interests. We are a young community centered mostly around the music but all those fascinated with the dark, quirky, strange ways of life, those who live outside the mainstream persuasions, looking for some shred of sanity will find themselves at home among us.

I mean, who really hasn't sorted out for herself what relationships are about, who maybe has not had another human deeply involved in her life except for family members, and is maybe not sure if she's "cut out for" a relationship, or just wants sex and/or someone to have deep chats with every so often.

So by "willing to explore anything", I mean that her first relationship(s) are probably going to be solely for the purpose of learning what relationships entail, what works and doesn't work for her, etc., so she won't have preconceived ideas of what not to do, that will in turn restrict the options that I can try out and learn from.



I would think that would attract a very different crowd than what I'm looking for, people who are attracted to conservative notions of "suitors" and the like, who want their relationships to immediately lead to stability and not be means of undirected trying things out to see what's out there. Not into trying out different schemes of relating, different numbers of partners, etc. But maybe I'm wrong.



From what I know, my parents don't have that much of an opinion what kinds of girls I should be involved with, or even what kind of relationship I should have.



What made you think I'm looking for someone to marry?

People aren't such blank slates. Maybe I'm just too slavishly devoted to Freud but I think he got a lot of things right. I think that one of the things that he got right was that people learn about adult relationships, love etc. in childhood, starting in infancy. If you meet a girl with little or no relationship experience outside her family that doesn't mean she's a blank slate willing to try anything. It means her view of relationships is still tightly bounded by what she learned from her parents (or whoever raised her). She will have very preconceived ideas about relationships (everybody does, including people who have not had romantic relationships). The learning process of relationships that people go through is when their preconceived ideas (that they got in childhood) bump up against the reality of other people.

You'd probably have better luck with somebody whose in a subculture (depending on the subculture). You might luck into somebody who wants to experiment the same way that you do and who is "into" your naivete because she's decided that's what she likes. But don't count on somebody who is also naive as being more experiemental. That girl is probably more tightly bound to the preconceptions she got in childhood than the girl who has been around a bit.

I love Jane Austen! I would totally dress up as Darcy, the man is awesome. I'm not sure I could pull it off, though. I'm half-asian, so it'd look a bit weird, plus I'm not as tall as he is.

Maybe I could try dressing as some other kind of Victorian gentleman... or even Steampunk? I'm not sure I care enough to make my own costumes, though.

He'd be my hero! But talking about the book is boring.

I don't know if I am allowed to mention it but I have met a few really awesome yet not mainstream girls through 4chan when somebody posts a "916'rs post here" (916 is my area code) or a "California people post here with zip" I mean people on 4chan /b/ are about as anti mainstream as you can get and there are actually lots of girls that go on there. I never had a really lasting relationship with any as I am not good in relationships and I usually try and break it off before it gets to serious. But yeah I would try that...

People mite assume you are gay You mite could get along really well with the women till they find out your straight. I liked Ms.Darcy myself but when I mention it in conversations people tell me I'm gay

I seriously wonder how much of why you see this so differently has to do with you being a woman, and how much has to do with being NT (as I understand, you are both). With myself, I guess you could say I have a preconception, though it's more of an omission. I grew up seeing relationships as mainly something that other people do. I was told that I would eventually develop feelings toward girls, and had a sort of an idea what those were supposed to be like, yet I always also knew that I was different from normal, and that I might very well experience them in a different way than the average person.

So, I always thought of interest in girls being mainly about the passionate, hormone-soaked intensity, and never consciously thought about there being a social component to it. And being on the autism spectrum made me never really curious about the social side of anything. Still, to this day, by FAR the most pressing thing about being involved with a woman is to experience the passionate hormones, with the idea of having to have another person in my life actually being a drawback that I only have to address because most women (and a lot of men) consider it important. I'd much prefer to be alone or just among regular friends when not "riding" the excitement. So really, my preconception (if you can call it that) is really an omission, that makes me more of a "blank slate" (not less) when it comes to what form a relationship takes.

My other preconception, which I've already alluded to above, is that building connections among people is the sphere of others, and that my role is to be a thinker and problem solver, trading my abilities in that for a place among the network of people that others build. I am still unsure to what extent I will be able to continue relating to the rest of the world in this way. So basically I'm attracted to two kinds of women, those who are deeply into the interpersonal world and can act as liaisons for me, or women who almost have a "little boy perspective" themselves, who are in a similar niche to myself. A lot of my posts here, which haven't been answered, have been trying to sort out how come many of even the most tomboyish, asocial women don't seem to grow up with this view of the world. I have, however, been lucky enough to meet some "female boys" here, with whom I seem to be able to communicate quite well.

And I really don't get why women who are outside the mainstream would like Jane Austen. The people in her novels seem to be obsessed with normalcy and social acceptance. They are also very concerned with appearances and beauty, though curiously not natural beauty. Even though the novels were written to be critical of the social structure, they also seem to validate its existence. Even the "rebels" in there had the same manners and sense of decency, and attended the same stuck-up parties, as everyone else. And there wasn't the slightest suggestion of anything kinky. I'd be much more interested in a cult based around novels where people live in oddly rounded huts and have intense, deeply meditative erotic experiences with dolphins and forest gnomes. Now women into that kind of fiction, I'd like to get to know.

Yes, Jane Austen was probably provocative for her time. But to look at her novels as representative of non-mainstream values in our time?

I think that I'm a weird woman. At least by society's standards anyway. I feel like I need to find a guy who can match my weirdness in a way that can keep me interested but not completely freak out my family. Having a bible-thumping family makes that really difficult. Any guy with long hair = no no. >.>