Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

SodBreaker
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 19
Location: Central Minn.

19 Jul 2010, 10:40 pm

Seriously. I keep getting static from people that say my one and only involvment with a girl is somehow not valid for reasons everything from that did not get "close" with her to the fact that I did not enjoy sex with her or even that I never got off with her. So before I go wasting time on another girl, I'd just like to know, What exactly is a relationship.

Thanks

Sod Breaker



Brioc
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 19

19 Jul 2010, 10:59 pm

Before adding my own experiences for comparison, I'd suggest moving this topic to the adult section. Suffice it to say, it is possible to have a relationship with bad sex or even no sex. Also a relationship can be very short-lived or shallow. In sum, nothing you've stated so far disqualifies what you had from being a relationship.

At its heart, a relationship describes a degree of interconnectedness between two people. You can call almost anything a "relationship", but, at one extreme, you have to be careful to say it was limited to its facts. For example:

1. The relationship consisted solely of hooking up once.
2. The relationship consisted solely of long-distance calls.
3. The relationship consisted solely of repeatedly smoking a bong on her couch.

Literally, even those trivial events are a relationship. To make it a "romantic relationship" you would need to have some sort of emotional connection. More specifically, at least one of the parties in the relationship would need to have some sort of romantic, emotional connection.

I think your friends may be saying that you've never had a "real" relationship. If your relationship with the girl involved having sex on more than one occasion and any level of interaction like a date -- movie, dinner, coffee, concert, etc. -- then you've had a relationship. It may have been shallow or not up to your friend's standards of a real relationship, but it was a relationship.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,675
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

19 Jul 2010, 11:00 pm

I think there's different kinds/types of relationships; different people will define a relationship in different ways. I think what's important is finding someone who you can have the kind of relationship you want with. To me a relationship is spending time with someone as a friend as well as having romantic elements. BTW you do not need to have sex in order to have a relationship with someone; I don't


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Last edited by nick007 on 19 Jul 2010, 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SodBreaker
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 19
Location: Central Minn.

19 Jul 2010, 11:03 pm

So in summary it requires being close to someone? In which case I am not capable of a relationship becuase I could never be close to someone.



CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

20 Jul 2010, 6:22 am

SodBreaker wrote:
So in summary it requires being close to someone? In which case I am not capable of a relationship becuase I could never be close to someone.


What's your definition of "close"? It might be different from theirs.



Northeastern292
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills

20 Jul 2010, 7:13 am

Okay, so here's my take-watch Paper Heart. It'll make you feel much better.



Brioc
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 19

20 Jul 2010, 9:29 pm

Emotional intimacy is not the same thing as feeling emotion.