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Emelie
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23 Jul 2010, 7:51 pm

I've always wanted a pretty laid back relationship. I don't like to talk too much, I prefer action over words. I kind of want a relationship where both parts can just silently acknowledge eachother, without a need to prove anything. No obsessing about what the other is doing etc, and no dumb and over the top emotional drama.

In short, I want a relationship built on honor and respect, not blind lust.

I dunno where I'm going with this, just venting I guess. People tend to expect me to get madly in love with some providing gentleman and whatnot and it gets frustrating sometimes.



Aimless
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23 Jul 2010, 8:25 pm

I think I get that. It's like wanting to be the happily married old couple right from the beginning? I doubt I could ever find anyone who would accept my utter lack of ambition and my tendency to just want to sit and think.



Herman
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23 Jul 2010, 8:28 pm

Sounds like a traditional marriage for religious people.

Both people find each other and mutually agree to form a permanent relationship, no dating/trying to impress each other etc. Just both understanding you want the same thing and getting married before getting to know each other in any real depth.

These marriages are often setup by families, where the couple never actually speak beforehand.

Yet they have the highest rates of success, and never really end in divorce.



sufi
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23 Jul 2010, 8:44 pm

Take heart folks, I have been married 40 years (we are also atheists, but I do prefer the term realist) and that is the kind of relationship we have.
We were an old married couple I think even before we were married. I do love him but more than that I 'liked' him. I know he loves me and I don't worry about other women. It is more of a friend/roommate relationship. We don't fight, we agree on most things. We don't talk a lot, we don't make demands on each other. There is a down side to this type of relationship though, I do sometimes wish he would be a little more involved and a little more communicative, and he was an alcoholic for 16 of those years. But, it's worked ok so far.


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hale_bopp
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23 Jul 2010, 9:04 pm

I don't have much respect for people who want to build a relationship on blind lust personally. Good on you.

I want someone I respect, care about, can have fun and laugh with play and talk about deep and serious stuff, not something to f**k. And I refuse to be someone elses "something to f*ck" and that is why I don't respect or agree with a lot of the beliefs of the people here.

Basically if some guy moans on here about "not getting any" I won't have any sympathy.



RICKY5
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24 Jul 2010, 9:38 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I don't have much respect for people who want to build a relationship on blind lust personally. Good on you.

I want someone I respect, care about, can have fun and laugh with play and talk about deep and serious stuff, not something to f**k. And I refuse to be someone elses "something to f*ck" and that is why I don't respect or agree with a lot of the beliefs of the people here.

Basically if some guy moans on here about "not getting any" I won't have any sympathy.


And you wonder why I have no desire for a "relationship"...



cranberry
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24 Jul 2010, 3:58 pm

That sounds really boring.
Why wouldn't you want to talk to the one you love?



KaiG
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24 Jul 2010, 4:09 pm

I've always wanted a relationship based on companionship, acceptance, etc. I'd like someone who I liked and who liked me; someone I could do things with. Sex would hopefully be a part of that, but it's not my primary motivaton.


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Aimless
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24 Jul 2010, 5:44 pm

cranberry wrote:
That sounds really boring.
Why wouldn't you want to talk to the one you love?


I don't think she's talking about never talking, but about not needing to be "on" for your partner all the time. At least I don't want to have to keep up with that.



Jookia
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24 Jul 2010, 9:22 pm

KaiG wrote:
I've always wanted a relationship based on companionship, acceptance, etc. I'd like someone who I liked and who liked me; someone I could do things with. Sex would hopefully be a part of that, but it's not my primary motivaton.


This, but I have the additional standard of honesty and no lies. :(



Seanmw
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24 Jul 2010, 9:47 pm

doesn't sound too unusual to me.


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