I always run out of things to say!

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Today, tried holding a conversation with this cute girl that I met the week before. She was a foreign student with a green card, so it made it easy to start out a conversation because I was also born in a foreign country, so we could share each other's life experiences. The first week I talked to her went great because she had a lot of interesting viewpoints when it came to current events (and I made sure to not be so argumentative even when I disagreed with her). She is very idealistic, and I can respect. The covnersation flowed very smoothly until I one of her friends came, butted into the conversation and just outright killed it. Since there was nothing else I could do I told her I was glad to meet such an interesting person, and hoped to continue our conversation sometime again.

But, we did and the 2nd time it went by far more poorly. I found out more about her, and while she did comment that I seem to know a lot of stuff for someone my age, and eventually ran out of things to talk to her outside of political stuff, or origins. I eventually confessed that I was feeling a bit more nervous then usual and I didnt know why (and in retrospect, a very bad thing to admit in front of her!) and the conversation ended with me pretty much saying I have to get to class.

Damn, I know others would say that I should've at least salvaged it by trying to ask her for a casual outing or something, but I get so nervous and I cant seem to get past that part. It seems like a lot of the aspies do better then me on this website, so whats your advice on this situation? How do you approach people and handle it?

oh, i'm TERRIBLE at thinking of things to say, and it doesn't help when the don't make an effort either! It's not just you, apparently a lot of NTs have this problem too. You did very well, in my opinion, making lots of effort.

What does anyone say to anyone? Mostly stuff you have in common.. but when that runs out.. the weather? >_<

Talking about a specific topic tends to be as limited as your knowledge on the topic. It's OK to have topified conversations (and it's a lot easier for us to talk like this) but they have the danger of becoming stagnant quickly resulting in awkwardness.

Anecdotes are a good conversational space-filler. Try talking about "that time when ____." It's best if the story is funny or relevant to your current environment.

Humorous observations are also good, and if you can make people laugh it's even better. Comment on absurdities you see at the moment. Make fun of people, but only lightly.

I've been working on these skills for a long time, and I am at the point where I can--with masssive effort--seem to be normal. This is tiring and I generally reserve this energy for trying to meet girls. Here's the problem: if you impress her by acting, you can never give up the act! If you start being yourself it will, from her perspective, look like you became another person.

Despite putting time and effort into this I still, at my best moments, am not as smooth as a neurotypical. It's damn near impossible if I am being distracted by environmental factors.

Catch 22: If you don't go out anywhere or meet anyone you don't have anacdotes.

I have stuff I call "culturally required learning".

So a basic familiarity with today's news, people's favourite TV, the weather, and some stuff about the current sports topics all helps.

So today's topic might be about that new Tom Hanks movie, and the book it was based upon, and how Roman Catholics especially real life members of "Opus Dei" might feel about being painted the bad guys. I read the book and hated it, so I probably won't see the movie, and I think Tom Hanks is the worst casting choice ever - lots to talk about there.

I know who won the fight between Mundine and Green - though I can't stand watching boxing. I've watched just enough about both of them to have an opinion on each boxer's character - not that I'd consider myself well informed. More to talk about.

And today I pickled olives. You can't buy olives done like I do them - that's why I'm still doing them myself - quite a bit to talk about there - with anyone who likes chemistry or cooking or food.

I wish I could remember the conversational sequence that I think it was Stephen Fry said about how the UK Royal Family do conversation. They had a set list of questions to ask, and for each answer they'd make some comment about the answer and ask the next question on the list, unless the answer triggered something they knew about. But that would be only good for the first time you met someone. Once you've told each other all your little life anecdotes - you need new material. Hence culturally required research...

ohhhh pickled olives... ! You could talk to me for hours about pickled olives. And almost anything else pickled Forget that boxing rubbish, pickled olives is the only topic we need, especially if you bring a large jar of them with you.

I agree with that culturally required learning. It helps a lot to have basic familiarity with simple things like tv shows and advertisements. I'm pretty good at making conversation on the phone with some girls.
And it seems like it's almost just a game of free association. This is something you can practice in your spare time of course just to get in the habit of making these associations, and allowing the conversation to flow. Try to think of something funny.

"So you like pickled stuff huh?" That sounds funny right there,

"pickled pigs feet?" that's one of those foods that it seems like almost noone eats.

My hyperlexic inclinations would lead me to analyze the word "pickle"

What does that mean anyway? Just something that is stored in vinegar?

It's funny how pickled cucumbers we call pickles, but everything else is a "pickled whatever.

Allright enough of this, you get the idea.