never finding anyone...responses from other girls preferred

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i have a huge issue in my life.. i hate it so much, the problem is is that i would love to find someone to have a relationship with. i've never had a relationship or even a date or a kiss before and at 18 it's a bit weird.. but nobody is ever interested in me. i've had plenty of crushes but i'm too ugly for guys and i'm not a lesbian..
actually i sort of have a crush right now on a guy that's single but made it clear he's not interested(he knows about it) and he's currently actively dating other girls. i hate it because it just seems like i can't concentrate on anything else because i'm too busy fantasizing about having a relationship with someone (him) but it's kind of obvious that it's not going to happen for me i'm interested in love and affection, NOT sex, so one night stands are not an answer, in fact i'm a bit scared of sex.
it's really starting to affect my life in a negative manner, i can't concentrate on the things i NEED to concentrate on now more than ever. how could i get over this?

Well well. As a woman I'm in the same boat. Never had a boyfriend/kissed/dated etc. and yet I look at what I REALLY want to focus on my studies! Some WP people have mention a relationship and friends would get in the way. Which I DO NOT want. So I'm going to focus on my college work and if I meet friends or a guy then go from there. (They have to be obsessively dedicated to there college work though with some hang out on the side LOL!) We'll see what happens when I get into college. Also BTW you might see friends with girlfriends etc. (As I have a friend with a boyfriend) but one of my friends said it's hard work you are always trying to please him. Also my cousin who is married is going through husband issues I'd NEVER want to go through. Poor girl. So I'm glad in some ways I don't have a relationship so look at it that way. FOCUS on your field LIVE your field BREATH you field BECOME your field! Have it take you over and be all you think/talk about (Wouldn't you like to become something and make money/do what you love) Who needs a relationship!! !!

Don't feel so bad, you've still got plenty of time ahead of you. Me, I'm a 30-year-old straight male, and for me finding a girlfriend just seems to be impossible I've got several crushes on girls, but they either find me too ugly/creepy, or they live too far away and/or are just generally out of my league...

Tim (aka the Slipperman)

I'm a 17 year old female. I have never had a boyfriend nor a relationship. I am not a lesbian ,and I have had one or two crushes- both of them where on actors... However, I always watch other females talk about what they did with their boyfriend (sometimes ,all I can say is EWW), and I'm not interested in sex, nor anything around that, just maybe, finding someone with whom I can feel that I'm able to establish a connection, and someone who accepts me for who I am, not just telling me that I need to be fixed. Sometimes, boys say that I sometimes act like a male, specially when I get angry at someone (I sometimes loose control and end up hitting someone or something ), and they say that I'm weird, creepy and that I should be lucky if they gave me a job as a housekeeper, as well as other girls. So, I ended giving that up.

Hang in there. Took me a long time and it really felt like it dragged on for years. The thing I would tell my past self is to concentrate on interests and school more since trying to spend time finding interested guys was a waste of time when I could have been getting better grades, etc. I know how it's hard to think about other things when you have an overriding interest. I can only say, good luck and don't feel despair at being hopeless forever... meanwhile enjoy distracting interests while you are patient; there's not much else to do. If you have friends to meet people through and hang out with, that might help you be more socially appealing (from spending time practicing low key socializing) for when you do eventually run into someone interested in you later.

I didn't have anyone serious until after high school. I'm glad I waited cause when I have talked to other women who had boyfriends early they let themselves be taken advantage of to get or keep a guys attention. Don't think your ugly. I used to get down too but then I look around, while in the supermarket and see people of all shapes and sizes together.

At secondary school I saw people in relationships and I thought, "What's the point? They're almost certain to break up once they graduate and head off to university"; a particularly Aspie way of thinking, in retrospect.

I was depressed during that period anyway, so I was in no position to experiment with romance. During university I began to feel less depressed, but I still had no handle on romance.

I think I'm getting closer every day, I just need to learn to put myself across better in conversation, and find a place to meet like-minded individuals.

keep looking:)

Your appearance is not static. Do everything within your power to make yourself as attractive as possible. Nice clothes can help along with a decent hairdo.

You are drawn to Mr. Unrequited because he is decent looking and is demonstrating preselection by dating other women. Not because of any nice spiritual bS. We are wired like that.

You're probably not ugly at all. We ASpies often just don't 'click' with people of the opposite sex. As a woman you have a lot of opportunities to change your appearance. Try out different styles.
If you really want to meet guys, go to where guys go ! !! Learn to be approachable and try hanging out at places like bookstores, and coffee shops.
If you want to meet a lot of guys, show up at car shows, or car club get togethers, or racing events. Or motorcycle shows. Be all innocent and ask a guy about one of the cars, "gosh you must have put a lot of work into that..." Or just act interested in a car, and when a guy comes near, ask "do you know anything about these cars, gosh I LOVE the way it looks."
Do this and you'll have guys asking you out all the time.

Ah ok, so you do like men after all.

Typical

I never even kissed a guy until I was 19 years old, and even then it was too soon for me and felt wrong. I never properley lost my virginity until I was 24.

There are many out there in the same boat, please don't feel alone.

Two things:

1) I really wish the best for you, I know what its like to be single at that age - took me till I was 20. My best advice, find as many things as you can you both enjoy/get a self-esteem hike out of and make you more attractive around the way; seems like working on yourself seems to only work if its motivated by your own desire - without that its a bit tricky.

2) I'm surprised I haven't seen more threads like this, I have a feeling the next time I do see someone going on about how aspie women have it easier I'll have this link in my pocket for them. Less complaining is NOT necessarily less difficulty.