Guides to how the Opposite Sex Speaks/Thinks

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What do you guys think about these:

"For guys: a guide to girl talk": http://yahoo.match.com/magazine/article.aspx?articleid=12001

"What he really means": http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11997&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=686128

Why do men and women have to decipher "codes" just to talk to each other? Has straight-on honesty always been out of fashion when it comes to male-female relations?

Any thoughts?

Good topic.

I was honest with my ex right from the get-go...she seemed to like it...then when she saw it's how I always am, and that she didn't like some of the things I had to say, she lost interest.

I'll never figure that out.
I guess I'll have to narrow my search to an ASD or ASD-like girl.

I know some of these. Like when something is bothering my girlfriend and I ask "whats wrong" and she says "nothing" then I say "well something must be wrong because you don't seem like your usual self" and she says "nothings wrong." This is when I want to say "How am I supposed to help if I don't know what's wrong?" but I don't want to seem like I'm pestering her too much.

Well.. I feel tainted, that was the first time I had actually read something from one of those magazines (well the writer was from them.. so in my books same thing) I had a flatmate that read them all the time and would read parts out loud.

I have had very few female friends because they generally do not make sense to me. That can be really difficult at times, because I am female.
I have always had male friends, and if any of them started to talk that way to me.. I would be really confused and think something was wrong..

There is also a chance every guy I have been with has been of the spectrum, I know two were for sure. And I may very well be as well.



I have always worn guy shoes, so a guy saying theyu like my shoes, would mean they like my shoes..
But, if I actually had female shoes on and a guy said that, I would not think it was to boost my confidence or that he 'really liked me'.
My choice in shoes are not meant to do anything but keep my feet covered in places I can not go barefoot.

My reaction would be damn, he is gay. Then I would suggest he meet my flatmate. He is cute and the two might hit it off.



:palmface:


That is so not what I am meaning when I say that. And it is not why I say it at all.

Do people actually believe this garbage? Honestly, I am reading this stuff and wondering how anyone gets laid if they follow it.
I will keep speaking to people how I always have if this is what they are suggesting. I may come off course and rude to most, but at least it is the truth.
not some weird roundabout..
That would be way to confusing, but it also makes complete sense why I hardly ever understand what people are saying. They are talking in some weird code that I can't learn.

Oh god I don't comprehend that tendency of women at all.

'nothings wrong' but obviously something is -very- wrong and ARGH

But I do know where it goes from there. If it's pushed it turns into a big accusational thing that she's been bottling up for ages. I don't know why they think it is a good idea to do that.

I saw the "What he really means" article, and while I wasn't surprised, I was annoyed.

I would would be quite annoyed if a man said to me "You're too good for me," as a means of breaking up. First of all, I will be the judge of who I am and am not too good for. Second of all, he should really just say "I don't think we are right for each other." Preferably he should say this sooner than later.

Agreed. I'd immediately suspect it was a bare-faced lie if a girl told me that.



Oh come on. What that means is, "We're breaking up" and if not, then it won't take much to doom the relationship.

Do people really think like this?
I've always thought those magazine lists of what men/women want are rubbish meant to fill up space.
I figure if people are actually taking that kind of advice, it probably causes more confusion than it solves.

Thanks for the responses, guys.

I read stuff like this and

I told my bf flat out that I don't like games like this. If something's wrong, I tell him. If something's wrong, he tells me (well, eventually--at the beginning, he didn't want to upset/burden me with stuff; it took a while for him to understand that if I'm enough of an adult to be in a relationship, I'm enough of an adult to hear whatever it is he has to say). However, he never used "code" or "camouflage"--the most he ever did was say "I can't say it--yet." A few hours later he would. Now, he can just come right out and say whatever it is.

To me, "codetalk" in relationships = immaturity.

IMO, these kinds of "rules" (or whatever you want to call them) only serve to widen the "gulf" between men and women. The so-called "battle of the sexes" continues....Blarg! Why can't we all just act like grownups and leave the "boys vs girls" stuff on the playground, where it belongs?!?

I agree with this, if you can't say it then maybe you're not mature enough. The only time my girlfriend doesn't actually tell me things are if it's related to one of her OCD issues and she doesn't want to tell me because she thinks it's stupid, even though I tell her that I won't think it's stupid and I'll listen to her, but she doesn't have to tell me if she doesn't want to because I'm not gonna force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.