Asking friend/ sibling to set you up w/ the person you like?

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Non_Passerine
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10 Aug 2010, 10:48 am

Would this work: telling your crush's friend or sibling how much you like that person and asking them to set you up on a date?



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10 Aug 2010, 10:55 am

It might, from what I've seen it does work on occasion. It would be much better for you to do it yourself however. Then it shows your crush how serious you are about it, since you're putting in the effort to ask them.


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KaiG
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10 Aug 2010, 11:12 am

Instead of asking them to set you up, you could ask them for advice about how to ask their friend/sibling out.


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Hanotaux
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10 Aug 2010, 11:17 am

It sounds like a plan.



Non_Passerine
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10 Aug 2010, 11:41 am

I'm a woman trying to get a guy. As if it wasn't already awkward for me... I'd like the man to do the asking.



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10 Aug 2010, 12:02 pm

Then you're perpetuating the double standards that many of us deride.

Seriously, men like it when girls ask them out.


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10 Aug 2010, 1:22 pm

I think it's stupid.


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thegreatpretender
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10 Aug 2010, 1:27 pm

I think it would work. However, it may work even better if you don't ask your friend to set you up directly on a date, but rather ask him to just casually mention to the girl that he thinks that you like her, so she knows.

From what I have seen, if a girl suspects that someone likes her, it can sometimes create a feeling of automatic reciprocity over time, as she makes a positive interpretations of anything you do.



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10 Aug 2010, 1:44 pm

Non_Passerine wrote:
I'm a woman trying to get a guy. As if it wasn't already awkward for me... I'd like the man to do the asking.
If you don't ask him how else would he find out you are interested? Asking someone to get him to ask you is a great idea. It sounds a lot less painful than asking him directly. Any step you take towards getting to know him is a step in the right direction.


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ladyrain
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10 Aug 2010, 3:40 pm

thegreatpretender wrote:
From what I have seen, if a girl suspects that someone likes her, it can sometimes create a feeling of automatic reciprocity over time, as she makes a positive interpretations of anything you do.


I think this is true, sometimes it can do that.
But isn't it the same with guys?



Shebakoby
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10 Aug 2010, 3:42 pm

yeah but the problem with that is, women don't ask because they assume guy should ask, and because of that they assume if guy hasn't asked then he's NOT interested.



KaiG
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10 Aug 2010, 3:53 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
yeah but the problem with that is, women don't ask because they assume guy should ask, and because of that they assume if guy hasn't asked then he's NOT interested.

True, and it sucks.


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KaiG
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10 Aug 2010, 3:55 pm

Mudboy wrote:
Non_Passerine wrote:
I'm a woman trying to get a guy. As if it wasn't already awkward for me... I'd like the man to do the asking.
If you don't ask him how else would he find out you are interested? Asking someone to get him to ask you is a great idea. It sounds a lot less painful than asking him directly. Any step you take towards getting to know him is a step in the right direction.

This I will never understand - when women want to ask a guy, but feel they have to "ask him to ask them". It's nonsensical. Discounting shyness, which affects both sexes equally, why don't they just ask directly? I despise this double standard.


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Mudboy
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10 Aug 2010, 4:12 pm

I have asked someone to ask a woman if she likes me before I asked her out. I don't see the double standard.


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Zara
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10 Aug 2010, 4:43 pm

It's been from experience that my friends don't care to do so even if I make it obvious there's someone I like.

I think they were more interested in protecting their own egos than in helping me.


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Surya
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10 Aug 2010, 8:01 pm

I have never asked anyone to ask someone out for me.. but have had it happen to me.
I have been known to be very dense about noticing things and I have had some friends with really horrible types of humour.
Because of this, I do not think I would ever ask a friend or suggest anyone ask their friends to do it.

Examples:

1) Friend comes up to me and says 'hi Surya, you know me in my other role as <guys name> and your friend, but tonight I am playing the part of
a 2x4 and in this role I will be hitting you over the head'..

2) Group of us are out celebrating a friends birthday, there was about 16 of us I think, maybe more. I noticed a couple of them passing a paper back and forth, and others writing on more paper, and they started to pass them back and forth. The females would whisper and giggle to each other and the guys did the 'wink wink nudge nudge' thing. Papers went away.. then started again. This went on for a bit and I was starting to wonder wtf?!?! A couple other people 'looked confused' by it as well.. one asked me if I knew what was up with the others when we both were in the 'ladies room'. I had no clue.

When everyone had finished eating and dishes were removed and we were just sitting thre talking, the papers started to move around again.. could see it start out of the corner of my eyes..
they ended up going to two different people, one was the girl from the 'ladies room'. They stood up and dropped the pieces of paper in front of me and a guy I kind of knew.

The friend that was having the birthday said something like .. as amusing as your reactions are and will be, can you two hurry up and read those so we all can stop acting like 12 year old's in school and start getting drunk like adults...

I glanced down and my reaction went like 8O to :oops: then to :twisted: because at some point, I would pay them back..



Zara wrote:
It's been from experience that my friends don't care to do so even if I make it obvious there's someone I like.

I think they were more interested in protecting their own egos than in helping me.


Want to trade friends.. because I would much rather have ones like that than some of the ones I have ended up with..