What kind of married man is more attractive?

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Aspie_Chav
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04 May 2006, 3:28 pm

My holiday in Turkey is coming up and I am going to try the pretend to be married gimmick. I have bought a ring but I have not decided what kind of married man I will pretend to be. Do I say I have kids, would say that I am married to someone older or younger etc. Because lying does not come natural to me I will need a day or too to get my story straight.



mathogre
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04 May 2006, 3:48 pm

Why would you do that? Why would you lie about your marital status? There's nothing at all wrong with being single. Besides, anyone speaking with you for any length of time regarding your "marriage" will quickly know you're lying. Especially don't lie about kids; any real parent will know instantly that you're lying.

Do you think you're going to attract someone because you claim to be married? Are you looking to have a relationship with someone who thinks you're married? Hmmm... You want someone who won't respect your "marriage", and you want someone who is pleased that you won't respect your own marriage.

My suggestion. Ditch the ring. You're a single guy. I'd guess you want a nice girl. Go to Turkey, enjoy your holiday. You want a girl whom you can respect and who will respect you. If you lie, the nice girls will go away and you'll get what remains.



moomin
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04 May 2006, 4:04 pm

what you are proposing is downright creepy and manipulative. Bad person :(



Tequila
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04 May 2006, 4:12 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
My holiday in Turkey is coming up and I am going to try the pretend to be married gimmick. I have bought a ring but I have not decided what kind of married man I will pretend to be. Do I say I have kids, would say that I am married to someone older or younger etc. Because lying does not come natural to me I will need a day or too to get my story straight.


Chances are if you try anything like this people will see right through you for the creepy, manipulative little s**t that you are. Don't try to be what you aren't.

Just go out and have a good time. If you manage to pick up a piece of skirt, all to the good. :)



Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 1:11 am

This is a 7 day or less holiday fling in some foreign country I am talking about. The act of fornication is welcome on the first date. Until recently I thought trying to find someone on holiday a joke because I would have to leave and be hart broken.

Unless I am on vacation, I would never dream of having sex prematurely or lying about things in order to find someone it would be destined to failure.

At the end if the day this is a learning experience and whatever I learn will come in handy. NT and Aspies alike must be willing to experiment and learn and willing to discover new experiences. It will only ever turn bad on me if those new experiences have a negative effect on me or I decide to live a life of ignorance indeed of wisdom. Example: try this gimmick in very day life.

As an Aspie my problem with finding someone is not down to ignorance or bad choices but it is down to ability mostly. Social ability is what I have to concentrate on.

You must be ready to shake things up in your life a little, shake it up, shake it up or be prepared to life the rest of your life in a sandbox.



techstepgenr8tion
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05 May 2006, 1:24 am

Unless you can convince every last facet of yourself that you are married I wouldn't try it. If it's a posibility that you could really project yourself as if you were taken and like the other sex is already handled then that's really what you want, the ring means nothing and in that case your just better off without it..


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Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 6:05 am

I could ware the ring and deny I am married, like some married men do.



hale_bopp
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05 May 2006, 6:09 am

Waste of time imo.

So a girl likes you and thinks you're married. And you're all like, well i'm just doing this to pull girls, the girl will be like, omg, creep.



Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 11:04 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Waste of time imo.

So a girl likes you and thinks you're married. And you're all like, well i'm just doing this to pull girls, the girl will be like, omg, creep.


On my Vacation, that is what I intend to do. This has nothing to do with the seriousness I have for dating as hole when I am Not on holiday.



mathogre
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05 May 2006, 11:20 am

Guess what - it carries over into non-vacation life too.



Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 1:30 pm

When I chuck that ring into the dead sea or whatever sea they have in Turkey, and go back home to Blity that something does carrier over.

The reason why I decided to go on vacation is because my life is stagnating and depressing, and some how for a reason beyond my understanding, a vacation should help. My life needs a shake up, because it is not working.

Yes, my social skills suck and I am working on it body language etc. I still don’t see honesty and non-manipulation as a virtue. Not at the level I have it anyway, I often get from my workmates that I am simply too honest sometimes. They are the same ones who say that I might just be myself.

As an aspie I know why, we are very scientific mined people and the truth of the universe is scientific and the progression of science would net be very good if I decided that 2+2=5 in order to manipulate people.

I need some manipulation and dishonesty, I need to be man enough to overcome the guilt doing this. Sometime you need to jump in at the deep end and do it a little to the extreme in order for any of it to stick without reverting back to how I was before.

When someone says just be yourself you, you cannot be who you are not, they are saying be a good citizen, contribute to society, do the job to which you was born for, do that and our society will be great, even after your death. Yahh, like I would care about crap like that, if I cannot ever be happy myself.

I understand the strength of manipulation and dishonesty because they are very much related to power and woman at many woman at conscious or mostly subconscious level are attracted to power. Look at how politicians and you will get what I mean and have you ever seen president with Aspergers Syndrome? No because the people, mostly NTs don’t want to hear the truth. We live in an NT world. While in Rome do what the Romans do.



Scaramouche
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05 May 2006, 1:34 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
My holiday in Turkey is coming up and I am going to try the pretend to be married gimmick. I have bought a ring but I have not decided what kind of married man I will pretend to be. Do I say I have kids, would say that I am married to someone older or younger etc. Because lying does not come natural to me I will need a day or too to get my story straight.

I recommend honesty. It never works for me, but I still think it's better than wandering around lying to girls to get them into bed.



Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 1:49 pm

When I chuck that ring into the dead sea or whatever sea they have in Turkey, and go back home to Blity that something does carrier over.

The reason why I decided to go on vacation is because my life is stagnating and depressing, and some how for a reason beyond my understanding, a vacation should help. My life needs a shake up, because it is not working.

Yes, my social skills suck and I am working on it body language etc. I still don’t see honesty and non-manipulation as a virtue. Not at the level I have it anyway, I often get from my workmates that I am simply too honest sometimes. They are the same ones who say that I might just be myself.

As an aspie I know why, we are very scientific mined people and the truth of the universe is scientific and the progression of science would net be very good if I decided that 2+2=5 in order to manipulate people.

I need some manipulation and dishonesty, I need to be man enough to overcome the guilt doing this. Sometime you need to jump in at the deep end and do it a little to the extreme in order for any of it to stick without reverting back to how I was before.

When someone says just be yourself you, you cannot be who you are not, they are saying be a good citizen, contribute to society, do the job to which you was born for, do that and our society will be great, even after your death. Yahh, like I would care about crap like that, if I cannot ever be happy myself.

I understand the strength of manipulation and dishonesty because they are very much related to power and woman at many woman at conscious or mostly subconscious level are attracted to power. Look at how politicians and you will get what I mean and have you ever seen president with Aspergers Syndrome? No because the people, mostly NTs don’t want to hear the truth. We live in an NT world. While in Rome do what the Romans do.



Scaramouche
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05 May 2006, 1:57 pm

It's true that there are different types of people. Some do whatever they want, get away with it, and succeed in achieving the things they're after. Such as scoring chicks. All such people are concerned with external success, things outside their own mind.

While I like the idea of eventually finding a girlfriend, I tend to focus the other way, in achieving internal successes. Figuring things out, trying to live up to the standards I set for myself, et cetera. Naturally such an ambition will not do a thing for me in terms of the external world, and I'll never have as much as those who seek external successes.

And yes, obeying ethics and rules society puts in place for you is all about keeping you inside your little cubicle and making you a productive little labout unit. Even so, I think it boils down to a personal choice of which you prefer: internal or external achievements. Heck, they don't even have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe your internal interests involve having fun with gorgeous women in Turkey, and getting rich, et cetera.



Aspie_Chav
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05 May 2006, 2:56 pm

I am just after a little security from a relationship so I can get on my life without feeling so depressed every other day. I honesty believe that a typical westerners life is the best it has ever been in history. So it would be a shame that a person could not realise this because of their ignorant lifestyle and the inability to appreciate what is available to them. What I prefer is freedom from loneliness so I can live my life and do my own thing without any dependence on anybody. In my Buddhist classes they mentioned something about freedom from basing your happiness with external things and environments.

I seem to have posted this message twice by mistake sorry.



techstepgenr8tion
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05 May 2006, 3:00 pm

AspieChav, I definitely feel you on society and what your saying about the game really being about dishonesty, concealment, and at least showing off bragado. However, it's one thing if your doing this just to do something that you wouldn't feel like you had the guts to before - if your just trying to shatter the mold for the sake of it I'd say go for it but again please play it with some humor and don't try to get women with it but rather if it works treat it like you're just pulling a practical joke and give them something obvious enough to where they get it afterward, they know you wanted them to catch on, knew you wanted them to be had for a second and then deliberately let them know - at that rate it actually might have some interesting effects. On the other hand don't rely on it to get in anyone's pants and especially don't try this on muslims, I can't imagine them being as lax about that kind of thing as secular christians - even if they themselves are secular, they take the relationship world way more seriously than we do.


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