Confusing relationships.

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Has anyone here, male or female had a
relationship that was as confusing as
the one I am to describe here?

I was in a relationship with a woman (I will
call her Sewer) some years ago,
it confused the poop out of me.

I thought she was into these "open relationships"
because she was kissing Mr. Mickemouse Ears
so I met another woman I will call "Stella"
and this went on for quite some time,
a year or more before Sewer all a sudden "found out"
yeah right, she knew dangbusted well what I was
doing as she was doing it as well, she came over
to Stella's and started "accusing" me of cheating,
causing me to tantrum and when both women could
get me chilled out again, I asked Sewer why she could
not make up her mind, its one way or ther other, open or
closed relationship???

I ended up just dropping both of them, not so badly
with Stella she was a nice girl and I did not want to
put blame on her for something Sewer caused but
since Sewer was causing so much static I don't
think Stella wanted to be a part of it and I don't blame
her.

Sewer I told to just get out of my life, that I was sick
of her teasing and terrorising me and triggering my
tantrums on purpose, and left her.

Stella I apoligised for having to end what I had with her
and I think she did not be too bitter about it, we were
both sad about it but what can you do? Stella and me
agreed sadly, that we could not keep a relationship
going.

Dad moved me back to his area after this disaster was over.

I have since given up on dating and relationships
as there is just too much bullpoop in them and
they are too hard, especially when there is more
than just the two of us, two is bad enough I don't
like multi partner relationships, but relationships
period are not for me.

The big question is, can anyone suggest
why Sewer pulled this confusing
rubbish on me?

Simple:
You let her.

Ouch! - I know.

The parameters of this relationship were not clear right from the beginning and it is catastrophic to apply the " well, i do what he/she does " - strategy.
Always.
For one simple reason: you are not that other person and your motivation for doing so is differently "tinged".

The "Sewer/Stella" approach does not work in real life either, but it brought a grin to my face, so many people use it, .

The only person to act with a healthy degree of self-preservation seems to be "Stella", take a leaf out of her book, .

I am now a firm believer that even tho some things may not be "spoken of" in a relationship. And even if there is a firm grasp of the situation at hand for both party's. One or the other may be blocking out the actual thought processes which connects A to B. Happened to me just recently, and I don't believe its anything to worry about. But its basically like backdating a fight from the point of the relationships conception. Which - if you've been together 2 weeks, isn't bad. But in my case.. a year, brings things to an abrupt end.

Well, sorry to hear that, I wish I could shine a bit of hope in your direction, but there's a major problem with that.

You see, about dating and relationships (as far as I would consider myself in such anyway, which feels like a ridiculous idea to me given my past failures, even if I have gone all the way so to speak) I'm a little more jaded on the subject.

You see, I personally have tried dating, doesn't seem to work for me one bit. For me, the idea of me dating again, at least now, I suppose it's like trying something that you know will fail (even if it has a 0.01% chance that it doesn't). To be honest, unless there's some cure that can irreversibly make me into an NT, I feel I should just be content to be on my own for the rest of my days. However, I would be quite thankful that, if I can't be made an NT, then at least hopefully one day I'll get a job that'll pay enough money to, well, get a decent "female escort" every now and again.

Missing parameter. "accidentally"



Unknown variable



This tells me that the programme used to track someone's
activities isn't functioning properly, maybe it is better
to just do what you want and ingnore the other person's
input about what this unit is doing? Does not matter,
this unit shall not be executing the whole "dating" programme
anymore.

Unknown variable "tinged"



Verified. Do they use it over and over or do they stop its
execution once they realise it is futile?
I stopped its execution and deleted the programme.



This is not possible, I do not posess any of her books
nor was I aware she was an author.

So you mean my database did not contain the
information necessary to execute such a programme?

I would agree, I will never execute this kind of
programme again, as it is useless to my mission,
thank you for the input.

End of File.

I think I understand, it is not a useful program to run, it has not
done me any good either.

Open relationships are the most criminally stupid lie in the world. As I said in another thread: everyone thinks they can handle an open relationship right up until the woman attempts to kill you with a vehicle. (Don't laugh: this actually happened to my brother.)

There is no such thing as polyamory, open relationships, casual sex, etc.

I am not poly, but I was in a 'relationship' where the guy was, but that was his business, and we were only in a 'relationship' to figure out some things I was wanting to verify. Was very cut and dry, scheduled 2 days a week. That was what I wanted. Worked for me. The other that he was with, sounds like she could be related to your brothers other one.


LittleTigger

I absolutely adore reading your post -
they create a very strong visual image for me every time.
Thank you

Was Sewer a, what is that term you use, a bean something..


I think what might have happened was.
Sewer had you to support her in some way
She had the other Mr Mickemouse Ears to support her in another way

You had her and that was it, in her eyes
That probably made her feel good to be the only one

Sewer would look into the magic mirror on the wall and say
"mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?'
And every day, it would say her.
'why, you are Sewer..'

Until one day she asked
"mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?'
and the mirror said

'why.. "Stella" is the fairest of them all'

So Sewer, lost the last marbles she had left.
ANd called you a cheater, because
in her eyes, you cheated her out of
being the only one, the special one


Understand?

I think I am starting to understand, but if I
was her special one, why did she have Mr.
Mickeymouse Ears?

I thought it was ok to have more than 1
partner in that relationship because
she showed me herself that it was
by kissing Mr. Mickemouse Ears.

It isn't my thing, but I thought to adapt,
I should try it myself, so I kissed Stella.

Yes, Sewer turned out to be a beanhatch.

Stella aksed me whats wrong and I said
Sewer is not home shes kissing Mr. Mickeymouse Ears
and I'm just stuck here doing nothing so Stella
said why don't yuou kiss me whilst she is off
kissing Mr. Mickeymouse?

I did not feel quite right about it at first
but Stella told me that if Sewer can go kiss
someone, so can you, so I tried it, and it was
not so boring just sitting around anymore,
so when Sewer was off kissing Mr. Mickeymouse
Ears I went next door to kiss Stella, and when
Sewer came home, so did I.

I thought I was adapting, but I guess this whole
relationship tghing is just too hard for me.

So I had to quit.

She wanted you to have her as your only special one,
but she wanted two special ones.



You did adapt very well. You saw rules being used, so you used them too.
But Sewer wanted her rules for her only.
She wanted to have two, but for you to only have one.
She was not being fair.

She was being greedy, because when she was with Mr. Mickeymouse Ears, she wanted you to be waiting for her to be with you, not kissing Stella.

Yes! Exactly what I am trying to say.


You LittleTigger did nothing wrong.

You followed the rules that were set by Sewer, the beanhatch.

She did not like looking in the mirror and seeing that she
was not the only special female any more.

But she was never really special to begin with.
She was always a wicked witch


There is only one of each of the great wonders and
they are wonderful and beautiful
because there is only one of each.

If there was two, would they still
be as equally wonderful and beautiful to
everyone that looked at them?

Would Big Ben be as special or as impressive as it is
if there was two of them?

By kissing another female, Stella
Sewer ended up feeling less special

But she was doing the same to you
And she felt it was ok for her to do that
But not ok for you to do that.

Because as ladyrain said,
The Sewer, beanhatch
was greedy

She wanted two cookies
but for you to only have one cookie.

Thank you all for your input.

I begin to understand now why they
are confusing.

Misconfigured access control and
greed.

Thank you.

maybe with some time to take a rest, you should see stella again? seems like she is nice enough. sewer was just being manipulative and greedy imo. but it seems that if the drama could simmer for a bit, that you could have something nice with stella... you obviously don't want to hurt her.